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Empty
19 years ago
I am empty.
I've lost my other half.
My soul is incomplete, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've made a change, had epiphony's aplenty recently. I committed myself to making it work, but it's been too late all along. He just...Never told me that anything was wrong. That was the one thing he promised to do, he promised to tell me if anything was wrong...And he never did.
He almost left me without ever telling me he was going. I would have just came home and...He'd be gone.
Five years down the drain because of three months of this illness. Funny thing, when I realized that I was losing him, I was snapped out of the bipolar episode I was in like a fish on a hook. Somehow my love for him and fear of losing him did what no medicine has ever done.
I'm willing to do whatever is necessary, because I love him...But I can't make him do the same. I can't make him love me, if he doesn't.
And I am empty.
I've lost my other half.
My soul is incomplete, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I've made a change, had epiphony's aplenty recently. I committed myself to making it work, but it's been too late all along. He just...Never told me that anything was wrong. That was the one thing he promised to do, he promised to tell me if anything was wrong...And he never did.
He almost left me without ever telling me he was going. I would have just came home and...He'd be gone.
Five years down the drain because of three months of this illness. Funny thing, when I realized that I was losing him, I was snapped out of the bipolar episode I was in like a fish on a hook. Somehow my love for him and fear of losing him did what no medicine has ever done.
I'm willing to do whatever is necessary, because I love him...But I can't make him do the same. I can't make him love me, if he doesn't.
And I am empty.
Luckily, there was someone else I fell madly for, and he for me. But still, no love is the same, and I'll always miss the former.
*hugs* I'm here if you need me, Mmkay?
i wished i could do anything for you, offer you a shoulder to cry on, or whatever gives you hold. but i live on the other side of the ocean. i can't even give you advice, for i don't know much about love.
all i can do is wishing for the best for you two.
Nothing I've ever feared equals the pain of this, ripping-out of my heart and crushing my chest & ability to breathe. What hurts me most is the fact that I hurt him, and he must have felt this same pain at some point. If I could only take it all away, take everything off of him I would. I only wish I had more time to show him...
But he's my soul-mate. He's my reason for being. He means more than anything to me, and I only want to see him happy. I'm willing to do everything in my power to make him happy, but in the end he has to choose...And I want him to choose what makes him happy...Regardless of how I feel...
Perhaps he will rethink and you will be able to talk it out or somesuch.. I do hope whatever happens you'll be alright. If you need to talk, email me. fareme[at]gmail.com
*hugs*
After my second marriage, I swore I would never, ever marry anyone else, ever again, except for Eben and he lived half-the-world away.
When I found out he was in the US, I came to him immediately and we fell in love.
Part of me wonders if he's forgotten the way we felt...Everything was great, but we were never very honest with each other, always afraid to tell each other the truth until it was too late...
He was the one that I would run to, my secret-love that would never be admitted, for 5 years until we met. Other loves have came and gone, but his has remained with me through it all. I don't even know how to love anyone else.
All I can say is try to talk it out with him if you can, and if you can't.. just keep your chin up. You may feel like you can never love anyone again, and that's alright. It's perfectly fine to hurt and ache - but remember that life is still worth living and there are other things out there (not love neccasarily) that make it worth it.
Honesty is a big part of being in a relationship - if you still have the chance, be honest with him now.
*hugs tightly* I'm not sure what else to say.. just hang in there. :{ And, again, email me if you need to. Even if you want to just vent and don't want me to say anything back, that's perfectly fine with me. I promise you though that no matter what, things will be alright.