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"How to make RollerGator good"
9 years ago
For Context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mkrj06CldA
Short version...you can't
the story is stupid, even by talking animals standards
the acting is stiff, the camera is lost half the time
and the audio...well barely there, even if you can hear it past the guitar noodling (which is always playing)
And seriously...why a fucking ninja?!
So this presented a HUGE challenge to me, so i watched it repeatedly over several nights, until it hit me
What you can do?....make it into a porno, a really cheesy porno
Now how did i get this idea? there is one scene where the girl "BJ" sits on a couch, across from the slimy carnival owner and his minion
i am not kidding, the angles and pacing makes it look like a really bad "Casting couch" Rip-off!
i was half expecting the carnival owner to say something about "interesting positions" for "BJ"
and that's where you work it, have the title character be a pervert, who constantly tricking "BJ" into giving him...what else, a blowjob
"wow, you really live up to your name!"
because we all want to see a girl go down on a midget alligator doll
would also make some of the on-going "jokes" about hotdogs make a bit more sense, atleast in a cheesy porno way
course, you have the female karate instructor and the female evil ninja "Battling"
instead of having the girl named "Slingshot" show up in the last quarter of the movie, have her called "Snowball"
And....well yeh...
it wouldn't make it a good movie, but it would make it a dam silly porno all about girls going down on a Gator Doll.
and honestly, we've had pornos about ET, Happy Days, Simpsons, all sorts, so why the fuck not?
-I've been Kitt, and you have been fantastic, and i hope this post doesn't give you nightmares :P
Short version...you can't
the story is stupid, even by talking animals standards
the acting is stiff, the camera is lost half the time
and the audio...well barely there, even if you can hear it past the guitar noodling (which is always playing)
And seriously...why a fucking ninja?!
So this presented a HUGE challenge to me, so i watched it repeatedly over several nights, until it hit me
What you can do?....make it into a porno, a really cheesy porno
Now how did i get this idea? there is one scene where the girl "BJ" sits on a couch, across from the slimy carnival owner and his minion
i am not kidding, the angles and pacing makes it look like a really bad "Casting couch" Rip-off!
i was half expecting the carnival owner to say something about "interesting positions" for "BJ"
and that's where you work it, have the title character be a pervert, who constantly tricking "BJ" into giving him...what else, a blowjob
"wow, you really live up to your name!"
because we all want to see a girl go down on a midget alligator doll
would also make some of the on-going "jokes" about hotdogs make a bit more sense, atleast in a cheesy porno way
course, you have the female karate instructor and the female evil ninja "Battling"
instead of having the girl named "Slingshot" show up in the last quarter of the movie, have her called "Snowball"
And....well yeh...
it wouldn't make it a good movie, but it would make it a dam silly porno all about girls going down on a Gator Doll.
and honestly, we've had pornos about ET, Happy Days, Simpsons, all sorts, so why the fuck not?
-I've been Kitt, and you have been fantastic, and i hope this post doesn't give you nightmares :P
