Honestly don't even know how to start this journal.
I went on spring break with my family on a cruise to the Mexican islands such as Belize and Costa Maya.

I mean this journal is gonna be huge. Ill be breaking it down into sections. Also just saying I'm typing this whole thing on my mom's android phone so probably a TON of errors and horrible grammar.

breaking stage fright
I literally started a dance party on the pool deck. Let about 5 people borrow my fursuit (bunch of college kids were mind blown and thought Zhar was the coolest thing). I just danced so so so much. I had not a care in the world, danced in fursuit, my clothes, swim suit, anything and everywhere on that ship I was dancing. I've never felt so confident in myself. So so so many compliments from random people??? I had people thank me for bringing my energy to the dances and whenever and wherever their was music, I was there dancing. I initiated conversations with random people even, something I never do ever.

the boy
I met a boy named John. He ..... Has the strongest soul I've ever met. I was constantly being left speechless by him. We danced under the lights of the sky for hours upon hours. I'm so upset I met him on one of the last days of the cruise, I only got to spend 2 days with him. Literally within 20 minutes of us eyeing each other on the dance floor he wore my sergal tail for the night and we were truly animals under the moon. We stayed out until the sun rose everyday I spent with him. I will never forget him even if ill never see him again most likely. He invited me to visit him but he's in Florida so that's a journey in itself. I hope so. Both of our phones got thrown into the pool so we cant text or anything for a while. We exhchanged numbers so hopefully I can talk to him soon when our new phones come in lol..

scuba diving in roatan and Costa Maya
I went scuba diving with my dad and saw the most beautiful fish, coral, sea turtles ... Just breath taking. I brought my gopro so I have a TON of amazing content ill be editing it and making a video of all the main highlights from my dive. I'm going to also probably put up a flickr or something to put all my raw footage and pictures.

the future
I cancled my move with my boyfriend. I'm not ready for that commiment, I just turned 18, I want to explore my options and my soul a bit more before such a deep commitment. Instead I'm going to live with my local friends for the summer in an older house we're going to fix up together. High school is dragging on and on and I stopped caring in like 7th grade so at this point it's just exhasuting. I can't wait until this summer. Finally done with school forever and ill be living on my own. I'm excited for my business to grow and all the new people I'm going to meet. I used to be so so depressed and suicidal... I can't believe where my life is at, I've never been so happy.
I can't stop making new goals and exploring. I can't even explain it... has impacted my life so much its ridiculous. Our relationship has grown so much over these past few years, I'm proud to say she's my best friend. It's hard to find someone with such relentless soul power. John and Lucky have changed how I see everything, I can't express my love for them enough. I'm cutting the fat and toxic waste from my life and it's fantastic.

Anyways. I guess I'm finally done haha ..
I feel like my heart and soul are flexing as I write this hahaha its hard to express my thoughts in writing but if you couldn't follow my jabbering here's a summary: My soul finally broke free from all my doubts, the people in my life are fanastic, and I can't wait to more and more and more expiernces.