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BLFC 2016: Push Up Bras and Virginia Slims
9 years ago
Damn you, Reno, you are a siren song dressed in a leather mini skirt.
You spent your Katrina check on implants and you worship Judge Judy.
You smell like an ashtray and you hum Tom Jones songs while sharpening
your fingernails on a broken tequila bottle.
But I still love you...
BLFC is now my go-to con.
It's the best one going, in my humble and rather stupid opinion.
The staff bends over backwards to make the experience fun and
interactive, the venue screams "reality is suspended!" and the
Jacuzzi has a lovely hostess who brings me cold beers while
believing in her heart that I actually do remember my room number.
So you should attend this thing.
It's a hoot,
If you don't' have a roaring good time, I will give you your money back,
and a bar napkin signed by Vanna White.
And now the dumb part; my BLFC meme planner in a nutshell.
I embark from John Wayne's crotch on Thursday morning, stopping in Vegas
to rescue a hooker from an Iowa farm boy drowning in meth, and arriving in
Reno in the early PM. I've got a room at the hotel, so they gotta pick up
my flea ridden butt from the airport.
Ha!
Once (if) I find the correct elevator and alight in my sumptuous suite,
all bets are off.
Really.
I don't gamble 'cause I'm too cheap.
Sorry, crime bosses.
The rest of the con is an unknown.
I'll be a giant dog much off the time, and I'm sorry for that inexplicable odor.
Walmart for beer and a squeaky ice chest.
The hot tub.
Running by the river at some god forsaken hour.
The dances! The elevator!
The elevator dances!
I'm super excited about the fursuit meet-and-greet thingy.
I think having the public come on in and mix with the furs is
absolute brilliance. We'll see if it works out well in practice!
After all that, and a dozen Port O' Subs breakfast sandwiches, it's
back to reality on Sunday night,
Work calls on Monday, but the memories of seeing all my wonderful
friends will get me through.
The ONLY reason that I keep going back to these silly drunk-fests
is for y'all. Thank you for making me feel like part of the family year
after year. It's a gift that I treasure.
Now, who's up for a cigarette and some 2-in-the-morning keno?
You spent your Katrina check on implants and you worship Judge Judy.
You smell like an ashtray and you hum Tom Jones songs while sharpening
your fingernails on a broken tequila bottle.
But I still love you...
BLFC is now my go-to con.
It's the best one going, in my humble and rather stupid opinion.
The staff bends over backwards to make the experience fun and
interactive, the venue screams "reality is suspended!" and the
Jacuzzi has a lovely hostess who brings me cold beers while
believing in her heart that I actually do remember my room number.
So you should attend this thing.
It's a hoot,
If you don't' have a roaring good time, I will give you your money back,
and a bar napkin signed by Vanna White.
And now the dumb part; my BLFC meme planner in a nutshell.
I embark from John Wayne's crotch on Thursday morning, stopping in Vegas
to rescue a hooker from an Iowa farm boy drowning in meth, and arriving in
Reno in the early PM. I've got a room at the hotel, so they gotta pick up
my flea ridden butt from the airport.
Ha!
Once (if) I find the correct elevator and alight in my sumptuous suite,
all bets are off.
Really.
I don't gamble 'cause I'm too cheap.
Sorry, crime bosses.
The rest of the con is an unknown.
I'll be a giant dog much off the time, and I'm sorry for that inexplicable odor.
Walmart for beer and a squeaky ice chest.
The hot tub.
Running by the river at some god forsaken hour.
The dances! The elevator!
The elevator dances!
I'm super excited about the fursuit meet-and-greet thingy.
I think having the public come on in and mix with the furs is
absolute brilliance. We'll see if it works out well in practice!
After all that, and a dozen Port O' Subs breakfast sandwiches, it's
back to reality on Sunday night,
Work calls on Monday, but the memories of seeing all my wonderful
friends will get me through.
The ONLY reason that I keep going back to these silly drunk-fests
is for y'all. Thank you for making me feel like part of the family year
after year. It's a gift that I treasure.
Now, who's up for a cigarette and some 2-in-the-morning keno?
Indeedy I will!
I shall give it my very best effort!
Will do!
That is something that I'd dearly like to avoid...
The will to possess is overwhelming....
But really, go karts and hot tub beers, because BLFC is that awesome!
It's important to debate the serious and meaningful questions that
plague modern society, and I think we're just the guys to solve these issues.
Good boy!
Looking forward to seeing you there, being the party animals we are.
Let the muttfaction gathering commence!
Welcome to Muttfaction. Thanks for being our treasurer,
and I apologize for the complete lack of cash flow.
We spent it all on beer...
And I'm pitching a vote to replace chief leader for frivolous expenditures.
And wit is a type of beer so you should share it alot. Have a good time man!
My wit can only be helped with a generous helping of wit.
I have a problem with writing, and my English teacher
told me I should stick to non-fiction.
I shall be on my best/worst behavior.
You gotta get to this thing next year.
You'd love it!
I really appreciate you taking the time to read my drivel.
See you there!
And they gave him a bottle of whiskey and a rifle and told him to be careful.
They'll sign an 8x10 glossy for you.
Humble? When did that start?
Stupid opinion? I would not want to offend you by ever thinking of disagreeing with you.
"my flea ridden butt"
I would rather not get close enough to find out that this really is true. I will just take your word on that.
"The rest of the con is an unknown."
Yeah right! You will be either sitting at a table in the bar drinking the con away or under it sleeping to let your liver catch up with you.
"Running by the river at some god forsaken hour."
Did you mean creating your own river by some tree at some god forsaken hour with all of that drinking you will be doing because there are no fire hydrants in the bar?
"but the memories of seeing all my wonderful friends will get me through."
Who are thous friends, Budweiser and Coors?