CT17 wrote:
Out of curiosity (I was watching "Yes Minister" and "Yes PM" a while back), how do you think Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker would handle this situation?



Oh you hussy temptress...

"Well what do you think?"
"What do I think of what Prime Minister?"
"Should Britain leave the EU?"
"Oh I am but a humble civil servant Prime Minister. It wouldn't do for me to have opinions on such things."
"Just a humble civil servant? Wouldn't do to have opinions?"
"Is something wrong Prime Minister?"
"That's the biggest load of poppycock I've heard in... In my tenure as Prime Minister!"
"Are you saying I'm lying?"
"Yes I most certainly am!"
"Well.... It did seem appropriate. After all everyone lies about this issue."
"No they don't."
"Oh of course they do Prime Minister."
"I don't!"
"Really? Do you think we should leave the EU?"
"Well it's a complicated issue and... No wait, hang on! I asked you first!"
"Ah but that's my point Prime Minister: You didn't."
"I most certainly did!"
"Oh no Prime Minister I couldn't possibly disagree more. You see you asked, 'Do you think we should leave the EU'. You did not ask, 'Do you think we should leave or stay in the EU'."
"What's the difference? It's the same question!"
"Actually no Prime Minister. You see the way you asked it focused upon a given outcome, ignoring the other alternative, and forcing people to instantly rationalise their pre existing conclusions rather than inviting people give the various aspects of the issue proper consideration and come to an informed conclusion."
"I did what?"
"You biased the question Prime Minster."
"Well I didn't intend to. And in any case that's hardly lying."
"Of course not Prime Minister. The lie was that you wanted my opinion."
"But I did want your opinion!"
"Really Prime Minister? I'm flattered of course, but did you really want my opinion? Or did you want someone to agree with your existing perspective on the subject? You did chose to focus on leaving, on the uncertainty of change, on the road less travelled. It's almost as if... Why Prime Minister, do you want to stay in Europe?"
"Well... Yes. Yes I I suppose I do. But what about all the positive sides of leaving? Greater political and judicial freedom, and savings on Benefits for all those migrants."
"Very good Prime Minister! Lying again! We'll make a politician out of you yet!"
"I was not lying!"
"Prime Minister, please. If the EU actually had a political power over us then this referendum wouldn't be going ahead, as they've made it abundantly clear that they want us to stay."
"Well we have political power over Scotland and we allowed them a vote for Independence."
"Exactly Prime Minister. We allowed them to vote. The EU is not allowing us to vote, it's sitting by while we go ahead, without asking for or needing their permission."
"What about Judicial freedom?"
"Another lie Prime Minister. While it is true that he ECHR is one restraint on the ability of our judges to send criminals to nations that torture people, it is by far not the only one. It is not even the most important one, as the judges simply don't want to. As absurd as some might find the notion is, many judges are actually decent human beings who take their job seriously and perform it to the best of their ability, and would be appalled at the idea of sending someone off to such a nation."
"Well that makes sense I suppose. And Welfare?"
"Well that's not actually my department Prime Minister, but based on what my colleges say, and I regret this is only heresy Prime Minister...?"
"Go on! Go on!"
"Based on what my colleges say, the numbers just aren't there. The back benchers who say that your proposals won't make deep cuts are technically correct because there simply isn't anything there to cut. However what they are concerned about is half a million UK nationals suddenly out of work because they're no longer allowed to work in the EU if we leave. So many overseas workers coming back all at once also threatens to inflate the London housing bubble, with worrying implications for us all Prime Minister."
"Yes, those are all excellent points Humphrey. You've given me a lot to think about, especially about the housing bubble. I do agree we have to do something about that."
"Of course Prime Minister. I'm happy to be of service. Speaking of which, I believe you have a meeting with the representatives from the MoD in the next five minutes?"
"The Trident Replacement discussions yes, that... Oh heavens! Is that the time! Sorry to dash, but if I don't leave now I'll be late!"
"Not at all Prime Minster. I hope you have a productive meeting."

Bernard opened the door for the PM and walked over to Sir Humphrey once the two of them were alone. Sir Humphrey ignored him, and continued with his important work of the morning cross word puzzle.

"He's getting better at that."
"I know. He almost got me to answer his question. A competent man in Downing Street? What is the world coming to?"
"Truly so. Plus I can only imagine how embarrassing it woudl have been if you had to admit a strong personal conviction for staying in the EU."
"Now really Bernard, I don't know where you get these ideas from. We've been over this many times. I am a civil servant in Her Majesty's Government. Minister and Prime Ministers come and go, but the Service endures. It is not our place to have opinions. It is especially not our place to have opinions that might interfere with our jobs and the smooth running of the civil service when the next government is elected. Therefore when I told the Prime Minister that I had no opinions on Britain leaving or staying in the EU I was being perfectly honest."
"So the prospect of all those civil servants coming home from Brussels, many exiled for incom..."
"Promoted."
"Of course. My apologies. Promoted for excellence into positions more suited for their personal skills. The prospect of all of them coming back, and regaining their old positions, and competing for many others, including your own, is not something you have an opinion on?"

Sir Humphrey stopped, put the pen down, and turned around to stare at Bernard. He kept up the stare for a moment before slowly smiling.

"Why Bernard. I do believe we might make a competent bureaucrat out of you yet."