I think I've figured something out
9 years ago
Totally original header
Almost a year ago I tried to get started in making something in the form of a story. At first I felt amazing and ecstatic and full of life and imagination. That only lasted for a few months. Every day afterward I've been filled with noting but anger and frustration from not only my failed project, but also my personal life. I met some new furs late last year and they've made me feel welcome and wonderful, but even that didn't completely erase my frustrations with myself. In late January of this year I lost my job without notice to something that I probably should not have done. That and coming out to my parents recently have put a lot of stress on me. I'm usually good at suppressing my feelings to avoid awkward confrontation, but I've recently been getting into verbal fight with one of my best friends recently. Our relationship isn't the healthiest one, but even then I'm still giving it something. I guess I'm just a little worn with it all at this point. On the bright side of things I've recently come to the realization that I have a pretty good singing voice that hasn't been shown some love. I've been a singer for the majority of my life, but I guess I haven't shown much appreciation for my voice in recent years. My writing skill isn't something to bat an eye at, but I feel like people really hear me when I'm singing. I love singing sweet melodies and heartfelt serenades, but I always get a little shy when people are within earshot despite me being in choir and show choir for a few years of my life.... Over the course of writing this journal I've come to realize that the new friends I've made are helping me stay afloat and my new appreciation for my voice is giving me something to care about aside from other people. Even if I complain for the rest of my life I don't think I would trade it for anything else in the universe... Now to find a boyfriend... ;3
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