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Community & Collaboration
9 years ago
General
A long time ago I felt like what I wanted most from drawing online was skill and validation. Then I learned that improving is not difficult and that validation means nothing if the person giving it is someone you don't care about. Then I thought to myself all I wanted was attention and fame. Then I realized that attention means nothing mostly because most people are fickle, and to be honest not always the most suited to be the recipient of whatever art related message you intend to give.
If I look back and think of the last thing I want and plug it in, I think I would have had many less problems maintaining a presence online. I would say that thing is community. How I have learned how hard it is to keep a good community! My first ever forum that I joined has since drowned in a pool of it's own vapid user base. Another forum I had frequented sunk itself under all but indecipherable drama between the administrators. Another simply died out due to lack of interest after a website move, and the only remaining one I know of no longer has the bite that I know feel ready for, as well as just a generally mismatched environment for someone like myself.
As much as I'd love to reach my hands out and ask "Who would like to collaborate with me?" I can't imagine a positive outcome benefiting whichever parties would oblige me. Here at FA, the purgatory of cartoon animal fans, It seems I personally am beset by a few issues.
To extend a hand to someone significantly lower than my skill level would be disingenuous, just like if I reached up to someone significantly higher than my own skill level. I wouldn't feel so upset about not being able to collaborate with people like this if I saw some evidence of those people trying to climb up. Even acknowledgement that maybe fundamental practice of any kind is beneficial would help. But it seems skill and style are inseparable in the minds of some. Some people feel like to retain your treasured style, you have to keep your skill level low. It's been suggested it's not my place to meddle with what other people want. As long as it's not my place, it is also not my avenue to pursue when it comes to accompaniment.
I feel those with skill levels higher than mine, those that I do respect and are approachable--always seem to not be approachable. Whether it's school or work that carries them and their creative drive away, or maybe it's their iron schedule to pump out commissions, or possibly just a general lack of social acuity, or a general unpleasantness socially, it seems anyone who I look up to never has time to do something laid back. Everything has become a business, some form of prostration, or not important enough to collaborate, all equating to wasted time, etc. It would be hypocritical to suggest that these people need to bend down for me when I have been shown not to do it for other people, but there doesn't seem to be any way for me to break through to them, unlike the concessions I'm willing to give.
And so that must mean I'm the perfect one! I'm the only one striving to maintain originality and creativity, right? Well you can rest assured that I can't in good conscience say that. I can say for me personally that I think I do mean well on these fronts, but my own sort of shortcomings are a form of chemical imbalance. It's all but certain to those concerned that for me, it's not a discussion about motivation or goals. It's a pill that I need to find, one that won't eradicate my creative drive while also making me feel like there's a reason to continue projects. In any case--I think I'd feel a little less upset if someone I was upset with would match my personal shortcoming, but so far it always seems to be a different issue.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't know what hope there is for any community out there. People talk about jumping ship at FA, or this or that, but I don't know where you go from here. Does it get any better? Have we sort of ran the course of small community forums, or fan-zines, or art jams? Why doesn't anyone feel like I do when it comes to rousing interest for this sort of thing? How is it that with a stone's throw you can hit someone pumping out commissions or fanart and maximizing it's viewability before they'll ever tell you a few words about their own characters or plans for them? Why can't I find someone else who's as enamored with the idea of originality and original characters as I do, why are we so rare?
I'm still working on my own, chemistry-related shortcomings, and I can only hope everyone else is for the respective roadblocks. But even if magically all was said and done, would that create magically the drive to collaborate and put effort towards coming together artistically? I can say for sure that when my problem is fixed, yes. But can anyone else?
If I look back and think of the last thing I want and plug it in, I think I would have had many less problems maintaining a presence online. I would say that thing is community. How I have learned how hard it is to keep a good community! My first ever forum that I joined has since drowned in a pool of it's own vapid user base. Another forum I had frequented sunk itself under all but indecipherable drama between the administrators. Another simply died out due to lack of interest after a website move, and the only remaining one I know of no longer has the bite that I know feel ready for, as well as just a generally mismatched environment for someone like myself.
As much as I'd love to reach my hands out and ask "Who would like to collaborate with me?" I can't imagine a positive outcome benefiting whichever parties would oblige me. Here at FA, the purgatory of cartoon animal fans, It seems I personally am beset by a few issues.
To extend a hand to someone significantly lower than my skill level would be disingenuous, just like if I reached up to someone significantly higher than my own skill level. I wouldn't feel so upset about not being able to collaborate with people like this if I saw some evidence of those people trying to climb up. Even acknowledgement that maybe fundamental practice of any kind is beneficial would help. But it seems skill and style are inseparable in the minds of some. Some people feel like to retain your treasured style, you have to keep your skill level low. It's been suggested it's not my place to meddle with what other people want. As long as it's not my place, it is also not my avenue to pursue when it comes to accompaniment.
I feel those with skill levels higher than mine, those that I do respect and are approachable--always seem to not be approachable. Whether it's school or work that carries them and their creative drive away, or maybe it's their iron schedule to pump out commissions, or possibly just a general lack of social acuity, or a general unpleasantness socially, it seems anyone who I look up to never has time to do something laid back. Everything has become a business, some form of prostration, or not important enough to collaborate, all equating to wasted time, etc. It would be hypocritical to suggest that these people need to bend down for me when I have been shown not to do it for other people, but there doesn't seem to be any way for me to break through to them, unlike the concessions I'm willing to give.
And so that must mean I'm the perfect one! I'm the only one striving to maintain originality and creativity, right? Well you can rest assured that I can't in good conscience say that. I can say for me personally that I think I do mean well on these fronts, but my own sort of shortcomings are a form of chemical imbalance. It's all but certain to those concerned that for me, it's not a discussion about motivation or goals. It's a pill that I need to find, one that won't eradicate my creative drive while also making me feel like there's a reason to continue projects. In any case--I think I'd feel a little less upset if someone I was upset with would match my personal shortcoming, but so far it always seems to be a different issue.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't know what hope there is for any community out there. People talk about jumping ship at FA, or this or that, but I don't know where you go from here. Does it get any better? Have we sort of ran the course of small community forums, or fan-zines, or art jams? Why doesn't anyone feel like I do when it comes to rousing interest for this sort of thing? How is it that with a stone's throw you can hit someone pumping out commissions or fanart and maximizing it's viewability before they'll ever tell you a few words about their own characters or plans for them? Why can't I find someone else who's as enamored with the idea of originality and original characters as I do, why are we so rare?
I'm still working on my own, chemistry-related shortcomings, and I can only hope everyone else is for the respective roadblocks. But even if magically all was said and done, would that create magically the drive to collaborate and put effort towards coming together artistically? I can say for sure that when my problem is fixed, yes. But can anyone else?
I would probably suggest aiming for the middle, if a lot of people are too busy and hard to communicate with, and others you can talk with aren't at the level you'd like.
But I also feel like it seems very particular - maybe a bit too picky to find just the right person. But I think I always say you get really caught up in specifics in a way that prevents you from doing anything. And from there I would usually suggest to take what you can get, or try something even if it's not your complete ideal, and just see how it goes. Making a move and practicing is good progress. (: And maybe sometimes you need to prove that you're able to do something and show a sample to other artists for them to feel like they want to do anything similar. But in that case, I'd feel bad for the artist that you feel like you're settling for. Without a more respectful attitude, I'm not sure how fun it'd be for them.
I find it odd that it's picky for someone who doesn't have it. What about those who've achieved good company and their collaborative dreams? Is that just luck? Did they not work or look for it? I look out and I see people who didn't have to settle. People who worked for what they got, and reap the benefits. But I am the one who has to take what he can get. It's as if people who advise me on this are outposts in the desert, saying "hey don't feel bad, there's water in 50 more miles!" without knowing how long I've walked in the desert, without even knowing I've been walking in a circle.
It does however feel like I do need to give off more of a reason to collaborate with me. It's weird, even hinting this sort of attitude years ago would have people jumping down my throat, but it feels like everyone is standing off to the side watching me 'rave' like a homeless man on a street corner. I've got no sense of direction right now! But I do think you're right in saying more proof of wanting to collaborate with me is right. All this time I hadn't considered making the first move, I figured most people online just did. I never felt like I would be one of those people I guess.
Even now I feel like I've been asked something herculean to try to put some sort of project involving others into motion. But I think the frustration and loneliness will push me along eventually.
although I dont have much friendships on here.
But what I gather is that your saying this fandom is to cliquey? my reading comprehension sucks, forgive me if
I got something wrong or offtopic.