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Thoughts on new Top Gear
9 years ago
I'll write some general notes as the show goes on and my thoughts on them.
First off the intro was pretty damn stiff. The show feels quite American so far. Chris is bloody loud, too, but he'll probably calm down as things go on.
Okay, fairly standard Dodge review with a counter argument car added in for fun. It's something Jeremy and the gang would do but...it seemed to lack some of the banter I enjoy.
"WE GOT CUSTODY! WE GOT CUSTODY!!" Gimme strength.
Onto the most bog standard, boring, generic road trip segment I've seen on Top Gear. Even their early stuff before they were trying to top themselves was better. This almost feels like a parody of the show.
Okay, star in a reasonably priced c-...rally car? Seriously? Did you just...not get the point of having a reasonably priced car? You had that so that novice race drivers, which is what these guests would be, could experience modest speed that would feel fast relative to their experience while also being quite safe. But pffth, who cares? That was OLD and DUMB. Let's get something fast and new and awesome! This feels like when your Dad started talking about those "leet moves you pulled when you totally owned those guys, mirite? WTF right? lol"
Good lord Chris, stop shouting all the time!
And what did we learn from our guests this week? Their first car and their current car. That is about it. Nothing about them, their career, what they're currently up to...at least not much, anyway. Used to zone out during this bit but Clarkson at least put some effort in. This felt scripted as hell.
Oh. Oh and they've added off road sections to the track. They dug up the famous track to add puddles, mud and crap. Why don't we just smear some shit on the Mona Lisa while we're at it?
Onto Matt racing around in a dune buggy. Very Richard Hammondy segnment. Weird conclusion to it, gotta say...kinda standard.
Oh good, Chris is yelling at the whooping, hollaring crowd again. Are they really trying to Americanise this show? "Yaaaaay!" "Awwwwww." "WOOOOOO!!!" *applause* "WOOOOO YAAAAAY WOOHOOOOOO!" Calm it down...
Back to the road trip thing again. I'm starting to feel I'm not the target nationality for this show any more. The running theme seems to be "lol those Brits, MIRITE!?"
Onto an off road mountain climb thing and I'm losing the will to live.
Oh God get on with it! One bumps into the other and the whole race grinds to a screeching halt while they make unfunny banter about it!
"And on that bom-"
"NO NO NO, WE'RE NOT DOING THAT!"
"It's okay, I was just testin' ya."
*Chris has a mock breakdown behind*
Holy Shit, captain! The Cringe meter has just blown! We're at maximum cringe! WE CANNOT TAKE IT ANY MO-
Conglaturation !!!
You have ruined a great show.
And prooved the injustice of our culture.
Now go and rest our indignation.
First off the intro was pretty damn stiff. The show feels quite American so far. Chris is bloody loud, too, but he'll probably calm down as things go on.
Okay, fairly standard Dodge review with a counter argument car added in for fun. It's something Jeremy and the gang would do but...it seemed to lack some of the banter I enjoy.
"WE GOT CUSTODY! WE GOT CUSTODY!!" Gimme strength.
Onto the most bog standard, boring, generic road trip segment I've seen on Top Gear. Even their early stuff before they were trying to top themselves was better. This almost feels like a parody of the show.
Okay, star in a reasonably priced c-...rally car? Seriously? Did you just...not get the point of having a reasonably priced car? You had that so that novice race drivers, which is what these guests would be, could experience modest speed that would feel fast relative to their experience while also being quite safe. But pffth, who cares? That was OLD and DUMB. Let's get something fast and new and awesome! This feels like when your Dad started talking about those "leet moves you pulled when you totally owned those guys, mirite? WTF right? lol"
Good lord Chris, stop shouting all the time!
And what did we learn from our guests this week? Their first car and their current car. That is about it. Nothing about them, their career, what they're currently up to...at least not much, anyway. Used to zone out during this bit but Clarkson at least put some effort in. This felt scripted as hell.
Oh. Oh and they've added off road sections to the track. They dug up the famous track to add puddles, mud and crap. Why don't we just smear some shit on the Mona Lisa while we're at it?
Onto Matt racing around in a dune buggy. Very Richard Hammondy segnment. Weird conclusion to it, gotta say...kinda standard.
Oh good, Chris is yelling at the whooping, hollaring crowd again. Are they really trying to Americanise this show? "Yaaaaay!" "Awwwwww." "WOOOOOO!!!" *applause* "WOOOOO YAAAAAY WOOHOOOOOO!" Calm it down...
Back to the road trip thing again. I'm starting to feel I'm not the target nationality for this show any more. The running theme seems to be "lol those Brits, MIRITE!?"
Onto an off road mountain climb thing and I'm losing the will to live.
Oh God get on with it! One bumps into the other and the whole race grinds to a screeching halt while they make unfunny banter about it!
"And on that bom-"
"NO NO NO, WE'RE NOT DOING THAT!"
"It's okay, I was just testin' ya."
*Chris has a mock breakdown behind*
Holy Shit, captain! The Cringe meter has just blown! We're at maximum cringe! WE CANNOT TAKE IT ANY MO-
Conglaturation !!!
You have ruined a great show.
And prooved the injustice of our culture.
Now go and rest our indignation.
Have a look at the Top Gear Extra show, that is a MUCH BETTER one.
And will probably just get the rest of the original Hamond/Clarkson/May series on DVD. Will possibly like it better.
That said, I can safely say that I hate this new show.
Its unfunny, the hosts do not appear to get along and they're so wooden its unbelievable, I'm pretty sure if someone ad-libbed near Matt LeBlanc he would have a fatal existence crisis because his robot-brain would have no idea what to do.