Close friends know this.. but I guess I will have to explain.

Back in '96... when I was 6. My mom was killed in a car accident... on the 4th of July... on her way home so we could celebrate with fireworks. She was struck by a selfish woman, who's night of drunken fun was more important then anyone else's well being...

I remember falling asleep on the living room couch, waiting for her to come home. I remember getting woken up and told what had happened... I thought it was a bad dream. It couldn't happen, she couldn't be gone... I held onto that couch so hard.... We never did our fireworks that night.

I would never celebrate the fourth of July again. What's to celebrate?

Well.. I managed to find out that the house we used to live in was on the market... So I live in it now. So here I am 20 years later.. sitting on my own couch in my own house... The same living room, with the couch in the same place... all the same as that night.... and it is only the 3rd... Still one more day until this pain can pass and I can begin to forget again.

I ask not for condolences... What I need are distractions. If you want to chat with me... about anything else... please do..