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You know you're drunk when...
9 years ago
General
You know your drunk when...
Steven Seagal movies are suddenly good and you can actually understand what he is saying.
I think the reason he squints so much and sorta grumble whispers is because he has a man crush on Marlon Brando from "The Godfather".
Or...
He had surprise buttsex from a donkey in Mexico at least once.
Like he looks at himself in the mirror, off set, and just goes "Oh god... I can still feel it up there."
Steven Seagal movies are suddenly good and you can actually understand what he is saying.
I think the reason he squints so much and sorta grumble whispers is because he has a man crush on Marlon Brando from "The Godfather".
Or...
He had surprise buttsex from a donkey in Mexico at least once.
Like he looks at himself in the mirror, off set, and just goes "Oh god... I can still feel it up there."
But FAT 2000s Seagal where he pretty much wrote and produced his own B movies straight to DVD are the best ones to be drunk to.
We were watching one with him and Stone Cold Steve Austin in some half-assed prison and we couldn't understand Seagal because every line of his was a whisper/grunt and Steve Austin sounded like an out-of-tune banjo.
We were MST3K-ing the crap out of it.
By the end of the movie we established that Seagal was actually 150 Seagulls in a fatman suit hell bent on snapping everyone's neck to steal the world's supply of french fries and bread crumbs. And Steve Austin was a pissed off sentient banjo that wanted to stab everyone with a screwdriver to find his missing strings.
Sometimes flavored water.
Sweet boozy goodness.
^_^