I haven't been sleeping well lately, Recently I have had some staggering heart break, I've been thinking a lot a bout it. It mostly seems to consume my thoughts and sometimes things like this help just getting the thoughts out there. But this has been particularly bad. I have had a series of really bad relationships prior and had finally thought I had met the right person some one that was amazing and everything I could hope for someone who made me fine with the idea of a long distance relationship and actually moving away and starting something new if needed. And in all my reflecting I realized due to my parents coming into town that this person is not only someone I wanted my parents to meet and those who know me best and understand my situation with my parents know just how big a deal that feeling is for me. I had always felt that this person was out of my league. and I guess I was right....all hope and desire has been crushed. Story of my life really. Turns out there was someone else and things were not actually as good for me as I had hoped. Now I no longer know what to do I feel completely lost I feel that I gave the last of what I have to give, I really have no hope left I've tried for so long and failed at every turn I now find myself faced with how to cope with the current situation and how to move forward alone. as I honestly feel that's how things are going to be for me.
I have never felt so broken and hurt before even from the ending of the few good relationships I have had. I gave all I had left... I am sure I will find a way to numb the pain but I think it will linger for a long time. The road a head is a long one