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Futures of characters
9 years ago
I was thinking about the younger characters of mine. They all sort of exist to represent a piece of myself. Skye, the fursona, was meant to be the ideal. But I’m realizing now that it’s impossible, that I just have trouble imagining a happy, normal childhood. Not for very long. As a result I started thinking about their futures, largely based upon my own experiences.
Originally I had intended Skye to not have to suffer the same issues as myself. But…that feels wrong to me. I realize that I’ve always portrayed him in a way that was leaning towards autistic. I imagined, that he, too, would likely have anxiety. But his case would be different, as it wouldn’t be caused by trauma and was just something that developed naturally. In addition, I also think he’d end up with MS. It’s likely that somewhere during his childhood, one of his parents die. I’m not sure which one yet. It’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to grow up with both parents.
Skye as an adult is very anxious, but also very snarky. This became evident as he got older. As a child, it’s in a cute, bratty sort of way. As he gets older, it becomes one of bitterness. Early on in his life he realized that any “friendship” he would have ultimately didn’t matter. Because they would either just want something for him and were never his friends in the first place, or betray him. He starts to close himself off, preferring isolation over the company of others. Although smart, he begins to realize that that, too doesn’t matter, and stops trying, even though it was something that he took great pride in. This is due to how in elementary school, he was grouped within a lower level than his actual capability, given work that was far too easy for him. He wanted to do harder work, but the school wouldn’t let him. Eventually he just stopped trying.
He has a poor sense of direction and can’t read maps. When out by himself he must rely on a gps (with mixed results), and when he’s with others, he must rely on them to guide him. He’s shy, awkward, as well as softspoken. However, he can be surprisingly chatty when it comes to topics he’s passionate about, such as his lifelong love for video games. When getting to know him, he comes off as very wise - many of his experiences had led him to be empathetic and understanding of others, being able to provide insight and advice that many others haven’t thought about.
I think, for Skye in the far future, he manages to end up as a therapist. It was a dream of mine that I had to stop pursuing myself, as the fatigue had gotten so severe. But I’d like to think that he doesn’t have it as bad, and is able to reach that dream.
Lizzie has a lot to deal with for a 3 year old. At this point, her father had already passed, and her mother is stricken with grief and overworked. Over time, however, she grows closer with her mom, with both of them slowly recovering and learning to understand eachother. As she gets older, she considers her mom her greatest friend, as she essentially has no friends in school, which is not helped by her extreme shyness and selective muteness. In middle school, she develops agoraphobia as a result of bullying. But, she gets by, growing more and more stable each year. She never quite recovers and remains dependent, but she does get to a point where she can talk to people enough to be able to go to stores and buy things if needed. And although she doesn’t talk to many people or have many friends, she develops extremely close friendships with the few people that she does know.
Unfortunately, Alexander never receives the help he needs and commits suicide at age 13. He wanted to go with a murder-suicide - he brought a knife to school that day. But he couldn’t bring himself to hurt others, and ends up ending his own life in the school’s bathroom.
Originally I had intended Skye to not have to suffer the same issues as myself. But…that feels wrong to me. I realize that I’ve always portrayed him in a way that was leaning towards autistic. I imagined, that he, too, would likely have anxiety. But his case would be different, as it wouldn’t be caused by trauma and was just something that developed naturally. In addition, I also think he’d end up with MS. It’s likely that somewhere during his childhood, one of his parents die. I’m not sure which one yet. It’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to grow up with both parents.
Skye as an adult is very anxious, but also very snarky. This became evident as he got older. As a child, it’s in a cute, bratty sort of way. As he gets older, it becomes one of bitterness. Early on in his life he realized that any “friendship” he would have ultimately didn’t matter. Because they would either just want something for him and were never his friends in the first place, or betray him. He starts to close himself off, preferring isolation over the company of others. Although smart, he begins to realize that that, too doesn’t matter, and stops trying, even though it was something that he took great pride in. This is due to how in elementary school, he was grouped within a lower level than his actual capability, given work that was far too easy for him. He wanted to do harder work, but the school wouldn’t let him. Eventually he just stopped trying.
He has a poor sense of direction and can’t read maps. When out by himself he must rely on a gps (with mixed results), and when he’s with others, he must rely on them to guide him. He’s shy, awkward, as well as softspoken. However, he can be surprisingly chatty when it comes to topics he’s passionate about, such as his lifelong love for video games. When getting to know him, he comes off as very wise - many of his experiences had led him to be empathetic and understanding of others, being able to provide insight and advice that many others haven’t thought about.
I think, for Skye in the far future, he manages to end up as a therapist. It was a dream of mine that I had to stop pursuing myself, as the fatigue had gotten so severe. But I’d like to think that he doesn’t have it as bad, and is able to reach that dream.
Lizzie has a lot to deal with for a 3 year old. At this point, her father had already passed, and her mother is stricken with grief and overworked. Over time, however, she grows closer with her mom, with both of them slowly recovering and learning to understand eachother. As she gets older, she considers her mom her greatest friend, as she essentially has no friends in school, which is not helped by her extreme shyness and selective muteness. In middle school, she develops agoraphobia as a result of bullying. But, she gets by, growing more and more stable each year. She never quite recovers and remains dependent, but she does get to a point where she can talk to people enough to be able to go to stores and buy things if needed. And although she doesn’t talk to many people or have many friends, she develops extremely close friendships with the few people that she does know.
Unfortunately, Alexander never receives the help he needs and commits suicide at age 13. He wanted to go with a murder-suicide - he brought a knife to school that day. But he couldn’t bring himself to hurt others, and ends up ending his own life in the school’s bathroom.
If you don't mind, this sort of inspires me to do something similar with some of my characters.
What I like most in what you wrote is that Skye and Lizzie can all be met by characters of different ages based on the time in Skye and Lizzie's life they come into play. There are largely no limitations to whom and how an interaction can, or could, happen.
Alex's story reminds me of all the times in my recent past I came very close to ending my life. How I would feel so angry over how I felt there was no escape from the pain, misunderstanding, etc. However, I could never bring myself to kill anyone. Wll, except that one time I almost did. Worst feeling I ever had in my entire life. It took me a lot of "Safeguards" and four days of nearly straight sleeping to get myself from wanting to truly kill the one who I felt wronged me. It then took me over a year of near weekly therapy sessions to lose the burning in my inner-self to be incited by anything that could remind me of that person.
Back to Skye, I feel knowing he has a future as a therapist would be very good. I know, for me, Yosh does a lot that I can't do. Yosh always helps me to do things that real life seems to take away as I lose the rest of my vision while gaining more limitations in order to not become a health hazard / wind up back in the hospital.
Honestly, it's all heavily based upon my own experiences. Since they're all extensions of myself, it felt right to have their lives mirror aspects of my own. All their experiences are things that have happened within my own life, only with minor detail changes such as time period (For example Lizzie's father died when she was a baby, but I was 9 when that happened.)
Alexander's story is identical to my own until his is cut short. I had the same plans, but surprisingly, it was a teacher's intervention that ultimately saved me. He was a writing teacher who was extremely supportive. I was clearly in a bad place at that time, but none of the other teachers seemed to care. I guess it was more obvious to him, since he was an English teacher and the stuff I wrote back then tended to be very dark. But even so I hadn't had a teacher actually care about me since 4th grade and that was only because of my father's death anyway. I remember he called my mom about how depressed I seemed, and when my mom saw me at school she made the decision to get me into therapy - she told me she had this sinking feeling when she saw me because of how miserable I looked. Which was true, when I was at school all I wanted to do was kill others and myself. That's why Aura was an assassin.
I was really bitter about it back then. But I'm so thankful now. Honestly, the feeling of wanting to do that never fully went away, I was just able to suppress it more easily. It doesn't help that people are demonized for having such thoughts. I think it shouldn't be surprising when people go through so much abuse. Yet, we're the bad guys to them. Not the people who caused the thoughts to surface in the first place, people who knowingly, deliberately, and repeatedly hurt us. No, to most people those are the "good guys". I see this sentiment often on FA also. They act like we should apologize for talking about the ugly truth. But we don't have to apologize to anyone, especially not to sheltered kids who haven't experienced a true hardship in their life.
1: Seeking professional / mental health is viewed as "Weakness" in our society
2: Those who do notice trouble tend to not want to get involved for fear it would interrupt their own lives
My wife read an interesting article for her Graduate Studies about how victims are treated. The "Victim" being the one who ends up doing something negative that hurts themselves, or others, as a result of positive interventions. The saddest part is those who could make a difference choose not to as it would require them to be a "Change Agent" and that would rock the proverbial boat. As such, the victim just ends up being misjudged while the situations that made the person do as they did are allowed to perpetuate with others as a result of apathy.
I'm so glad you had that Writing Teacher. I can honestly say having you as a friend has helped me to not act upon the dark feelings I've fought over the years. I'm a lot better now, but you have given me so much to think about. Most importantly is the power in stepping out of my "Comfort Zone" and taking the time to see things from different perspectives. I like to pride myself as a very open-minded person, but you certainly have made me better at it.
Back on creativity, I like how you would have Lizzie and Skye exist in the same universe. Seeing how they'd interact when they first meet and/or get older could certainly make a huge difference in their respective lives.