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Something about me
9 years ago
It is not a normal thing.
Sometimes I wish I could just change everything about myself and fit in like every sheep.
I do not find general “guy things” interesting so there is this abundance of disconnect with anyone male. I am not interested in pissing contests, how a sport player is doing in some sport that men throw themselves absolutely into, or an abundanceof other guy things that just bore me. Not to mention that the crudeness of most men I find abhorrent. So I am disconnected from 48% of America.
Now on the same subject of obsession with something/someshow, I just don’t get obsessed over anything like you do. So that show you know all the names of everyone and every show they did (and most likely what they ate for breakfast), I just don’t nor care. That anime, game, sport, etc etc. Yea I liked watching it but I won’t be obsessing over it. You wont find my room plastered with any one show. You wont find me playing the same song over and over on repeat. So I am disconnecting from a high percent of people.
Let’s talk film because Americans love film. Most of Americans if the movie has a bunch of flash and boom to it will go see it. Will even praise it for how wonderful the film was. I wish I was so easy to please. Movies are supposed to be getting better and better. However because people will see a movie with no plot or watch a series that has no plot for an entire season, it has created this storm of bad shows. I however can’t stand it. So people raving about how wonderful these things are just make me raise an eyebrow. I sadly don’t agree and praise the show like it was wonderful when I thought it was full of plot holes and lacked any substance.
So that makes me look cynical or like I am above them. I laughed to myself as I wrote this because one of my biggest problems of late is the disconnect I have with people because I have standards. Oh how I feel like a wolf among sheep because I expect quality when I pay for something. Or that I have morals and standards I stand by.
Even in my own family I am the odd one out.
One side of my family is laid back and the other side uptight. I am caught somewhere in the middle. I am not so uptight I fit in the side that thankless of everyone and believe just about everything is wrong. But then again I am not so “laid back” to think teaching a little kid to call black people niggers or complacency in life is an ok thing. I am caught in the middle thing of not fitting in very long with either side. Each side thinking I would fit better on the otherside.
I could go on and on about different things like these. Basically a black sheep has it hard. They have to be independent because truthfully they are just a lone wolf in a black sheep skin. They have to travel alone because they don’t fit in with anyone’s pack. They can put on the skin and try for a while but soon it starts to be obvious to the sheep that something is off. Even with the sheep analogy, sheep and wolves alike are like humans in the fact that deep down they want to be close to their own kind. They want to love and be near. But they are different. A lifetime only isolates them more to the point they learn to hide more in a fake skin.
The reason I write this is for a few reasons. People may think “Oh you can change all that” or “That’s not the worst thing it could be”. Sigh which sadly I guess if we were trying to compare it cancer might be true but this isn’t a comparison thing. It’s not to get attention or troll for compliments. It’s just statements to make people understand that I am different. Sometimes I wish I could be the same as 99.9% of the world so that I could laugh full heartily at the poopoo joke you laughed at, or fall endlessly into obsessing what color underwear Norman Reedus was wearing today.
The fact is that I might not talk to you but on occasion. It’s not that I don’t consider you my friend. Hell I may even consider you one f my closest friends, but the simple fact is that I am different. On a good day it never even crosses my mind because I am who I am. But on bad days it would be nice to know that everyone that is a “friend” gets it. That when I do put on my sheep skin and come to talk to you that you just overlook what color it is.
Sometimes I wish I could just change everything about myself and fit in like every sheep.
I do not find general “guy things” interesting so there is this abundance of disconnect with anyone male. I am not interested in pissing contests, how a sport player is doing in some sport that men throw themselves absolutely into, or an abundanceof other guy things that just bore me. Not to mention that the crudeness of most men I find abhorrent. So I am disconnected from 48% of America.
Now on the same subject of obsession with something/someshow, I just don’t get obsessed over anything like you do. So that show you know all the names of everyone and every show they did (and most likely what they ate for breakfast), I just don’t nor care. That anime, game, sport, etc etc. Yea I liked watching it but I won’t be obsessing over it. You wont find my room plastered with any one show. You wont find me playing the same song over and over on repeat. So I am disconnecting from a high percent of people.
Let’s talk film because Americans love film. Most of Americans if the movie has a bunch of flash and boom to it will go see it. Will even praise it for how wonderful the film was. I wish I was so easy to please. Movies are supposed to be getting better and better. However because people will see a movie with no plot or watch a series that has no plot for an entire season, it has created this storm of bad shows. I however can’t stand it. So people raving about how wonderful these things are just make me raise an eyebrow. I sadly don’t agree and praise the show like it was wonderful when I thought it was full of plot holes and lacked any substance.
So that makes me look cynical or like I am above them. I laughed to myself as I wrote this because one of my biggest problems of late is the disconnect I have with people because I have standards. Oh how I feel like a wolf among sheep because I expect quality when I pay for something. Or that I have morals and standards I stand by.
Even in my own family I am the odd one out.
One side of my family is laid back and the other side uptight. I am caught somewhere in the middle. I am not so uptight I fit in the side that thankless of everyone and believe just about everything is wrong. But then again I am not so “laid back” to think teaching a little kid to call black people niggers or complacency in life is an ok thing. I am caught in the middle thing of not fitting in very long with either side. Each side thinking I would fit better on the otherside.
I could go on and on about different things like these. Basically a black sheep has it hard. They have to be independent because truthfully they are just a lone wolf in a black sheep skin. They have to travel alone because they don’t fit in with anyone’s pack. They can put on the skin and try for a while but soon it starts to be obvious to the sheep that something is off. Even with the sheep analogy, sheep and wolves alike are like humans in the fact that deep down they want to be close to their own kind. They want to love and be near. But they are different. A lifetime only isolates them more to the point they learn to hide more in a fake skin.
The reason I write this is for a few reasons. People may think “Oh you can change all that” or “That’s not the worst thing it could be”. Sigh which sadly I guess if we were trying to compare it cancer might be true but this isn’t a comparison thing. It’s not to get attention or troll for compliments. It’s just statements to make people understand that I am different. Sometimes I wish I could be the same as 99.9% of the world so that I could laugh full heartily at the poopoo joke you laughed at, or fall endlessly into obsessing what color underwear Norman Reedus was wearing today.
The fact is that I might not talk to you but on occasion. It’s not that I don’t consider you my friend. Hell I may even consider you one f my closest friends, but the simple fact is that I am different. On a good day it never even crosses my mind because I am who I am. But on bad days it would be nice to know that everyone that is a “friend” gets it. That when I do put on my sheep skin and come to talk to you that you just overlook what color it is.
