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"What's your sexuality?" Uuuuuuhhhhh
9 years ago
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Over the years I feel like my view on my sexuality has gotten very... strange?
When I was younger, I assumed my love for male fictional characters made me straight. My very first boyfriend was long-distance, and my second boyfriend was also long distance. (Oh the beauty of the internet)
There was even talk of us getting married after he got out of boot camp and all that jazz.
But then again....from the age of 14 I was messing around with my best friend at the time. This was basically between the two guys. I liked it, but I didn't? She'd get me all riled up and I'd take care of her...and then she'd roll over and tell me to take care of myself. Nice, right?
So right around the one year mark with the second boyfriend (short time to be talking about marriage, I know. But I was like, 16-17 at the time lol), I admitted to him that I thought I also liked girls.
Well, he then proceeded to flip out thinking I was going to cheat on him with another girl and therefore pushed me onto my very first actual girlfriend. (Also long distance. Noticing a trend here?)
She and I lasted about a year, and then basically just grew apart and broke up nicely. That was the one and only fully understanding and nice break up I've ever had, btw.
Fun fact, that military boyfriend came crawling back to me when he knew I was single again and begged to have me. "What can I do to make you take me back?" Nothing, dude. You already fucked up by jumping on your best gal pal the instant you were rid of me.
Since that, there were only girlfriends. I've come to the realization that the only guys I really like are all gay. They're clean, they smell good, they're femmy, and they'd let me put a strap-on up their ass. Meaning I'll never really get the chance to be with a guy because all of the guys I like are only interested in, well, other guys lol
So does this mean I'm fully a lesbian?
Also there's the fact that I've grown into quite the strange situation. I don't want a significant other. I have my roommate who I bought a house with and I want to live with them forever. They're Asexual, which is chill with me, but whenever I have a girlfriend, she can't understand why I'm as close to my roomie as I am. Or she gets super clingy and wants to drive a wedge between us.
That's a major no go with me. You do NOT fuck with my relationship with my roommate.
So at this point, I casually sleep with friends, or I have a couple of online friends I play with when the mood strikes me.
So now the real question: How the fuck to I label myself when labels just don't work?
Polyamourous? Nope. These people are still just my friends. I'm not having a full-on relationship with more than one person.
Bisexual? But I only sleep with girls.
Demisexual: Doesn't really apply very well because this is supposed to mean you sleep with very VERY few people in your lifetime.
Aromantic? I... guess? I mean I still like romantic things every now and again. They make me feel special. But...*wheeze*
Pansexual? again, I only seem to sleep with girls.
Asexual? HA you're funny. Does not apply.
Lesbian? But those very few precious gems of guys that are out there that I stare at. (I'm talking about you, guy who played Zac Effron in the Bill and Ted show <3 )
So all of the usual things I'd see everywhere don't really apply to me, and I don't want to delve into the tumblr-tastic pokemon chest of labels.
Also....on another note, just because I sleep with some friends doesn't mean I'd do it with ALL of them. I had a friend once who got pissed off that I slept with one friend and NOT her. Uhm...sorry I don't just let anyone touch my vag?? Sorry, NOT sorry. DX
When I was younger, I assumed my love for male fictional characters made me straight. My very first boyfriend was long-distance, and my second boyfriend was also long distance. (Oh the beauty of the internet)
There was even talk of us getting married after he got out of boot camp and all that jazz.
But then again....from the age of 14 I was messing around with my best friend at the time. This was basically between the two guys. I liked it, but I didn't? She'd get me all riled up and I'd take care of her...and then she'd roll over and tell me to take care of myself. Nice, right?
So right around the one year mark with the second boyfriend (short time to be talking about marriage, I know. But I was like, 16-17 at the time lol), I admitted to him that I thought I also liked girls.
Well, he then proceeded to flip out thinking I was going to cheat on him with another girl and therefore pushed me onto my very first actual girlfriend. (Also long distance. Noticing a trend here?)
She and I lasted about a year, and then basically just grew apart and broke up nicely. That was the one and only fully understanding and nice break up I've ever had, btw.
Fun fact, that military boyfriend came crawling back to me when he knew I was single again and begged to have me. "What can I do to make you take me back?" Nothing, dude. You already fucked up by jumping on your best gal pal the instant you were rid of me.
Since that, there were only girlfriends. I've come to the realization that the only guys I really like are all gay. They're clean, they smell good, they're femmy, and they'd let me put a strap-on up their ass. Meaning I'll never really get the chance to be with a guy because all of the guys I like are only interested in, well, other guys lol
So does this mean I'm fully a lesbian?
Also there's the fact that I've grown into quite the strange situation. I don't want a significant other. I have my roommate who I bought a house with and I want to live with them forever. They're Asexual, which is chill with me, but whenever I have a girlfriend, she can't understand why I'm as close to my roomie as I am. Or she gets super clingy and wants to drive a wedge between us.
That's a major no go with me. You do NOT fuck with my relationship with my roommate.
So at this point, I casually sleep with friends, or I have a couple of online friends I play with when the mood strikes me.
So now the real question: How the fuck to I label myself when labels just don't work?
Polyamourous? Nope. These people are still just my friends. I'm not having a full-on relationship with more than one person.
Bisexual? But I only sleep with girls.
Demisexual: Doesn't really apply very well because this is supposed to mean you sleep with very VERY few people in your lifetime.
Aromantic? I... guess? I mean I still like romantic things every now and again. They make me feel special. But...*wheeze*
Pansexual? again, I only seem to sleep with girls.
Asexual? HA you're funny. Does not apply.
Lesbian? But those very few precious gems of guys that are out there that I stare at. (I'm talking about you, guy who played Zac Effron in the Bill and Ted show <3 )
So all of the usual things I'd see everywhere don't really apply to me, and I don't want to delve into the tumblr-tastic pokemon chest of labels.
Also....on another note, just because I sleep with some friends doesn't mean I'd do it with ALL of them. I had a friend once who got pissed off that I slept with one friend and NOT her. Uhm...sorry I don't just let anyone touch my vag?? Sorry, NOT sorry. DX
But then again I guess you have a point because theoretically, someone who is Transgender should never be looked at as the gender that they originally were, but the gender that they consider themselves to be. Therefore, the person is still either male or female which makes Bi still applicable.
I could fuck a guy whatever but I couldn't date one. I don't think you need to get into the confusing
"Special snowflake" sexuality. Keep it simple. you sleep with women, date women. Lesbian.
I have the same relationship with my best friend/roommate. She will sleep in the same bed with me sometimes we lay on each other
she gives me head messages. it's great. haha.
But yeah, at this point there's the whole, no dating thing. At least at this point in my life, I'm not interested in dating because it always seems to create problems. Someone SAYS they're okay with how I am with the roomie, but then as soon as we get into a relationship, they're very obviously not.
I can feel you on that though! When I date someone I respect their feelings but normally I will date someone but have a sort of open relationship, None of that polyamorous shit though I'm too poor to pamper more than one person haha
LOL To tell you the truth I've never actually done that before. So me just casually sleeping with friends right now is the most open I've ever been.
But then comes the problem with the other friends getting jealous. It's like I'm not allowed to have preferences. DX
Like, I can like someone as a friend but not find the physically attractive and not want to bang them. That's NORMALLY what friendship is, you know?
In my case, i like whatever interests me at the time. At one point it was primarily men, now it's primarily women, and 85% of the time sex isn't even something i think about. There's no label for that, and that's perfectly fine ♡
I guess I just got confused with the whole poly thing because originally it did mean having multiple relationships of relatively equal value. Like the guys who have like, 5 wives. The guys who actually do that who I think are... in Utah? The Polygamists.
But I guess now the label has changed and now it doesn't mean that anymore? This is one of the ones that confuses me most, because it's a label that has been around for quite some time, but I kinda feel like tumblr took it and changed it. You know?
I know there are many different ways to be poly and as long as you're being honest with your partners in whatever ways you defined your relationships, you're doing it right. -nods-
Honesty is the biggest thing for me. I only consider it cheating if you're doing it behind the person's back. But so long as communication and consent are both there, then it's all good.
But there's also so many terms and so much to remember, it's so hard to feel comfortable calling myself any one thing without accidentally insulting anyone else, whoops.
But yeah, I can really relate to that bottom part especially. I feel like if I give the wrong answer someone's going to flip out on me.
There's quite avast difference in our comfort levels and things like that.
honestly, i think labelling at all is unnecessary, since sexuality in itself tends to be quite fluid.
you could leave it at "polysexual" i suppose? sexually attracted to some, but not all?
EVERYBODY is attracted to some people and not others.
There are way too many labels now. Poly means multiple just like with polyamorous.
I don't RT how most of these even equal their so called definitions. I'm so confused @-@
"what's your sexuality?"
"uh... yes."