FA+
Shop
Internet "bullies" are not "REAL" bullies.
9 years ago
General
No matter how much I hear this shit about "Internet Bullies", they are still not ACTUAL BULLIES!
I have a wee bit of expertise in this area...
Sit back as I regale you with a story:
Chapter one: "The bloody, bloody, early years."
As a kid, back in the medieval ages before the internet was even a thing, long ago before puberty hit me like Mike Fucking Tyson, I was mercilessly bullied in EVERY school I went to. Public and private... Sometimes even by adults and teachers since this was back in the days when pretty much anyone could legally get away with hitting children.
And I'm not talking about just getting called nasty names or being tripped in the hallway... I'm talking about that and everything from getting broken noses and broken fingers, to actual fucking GANG BEATINGS!
Yeah, my biggest GANG BEATING was from 20 kids that beat me (many of them multiple grade levels above me) because I didn't speak Spanish and dared to try standing up for myself to a bully pushing me around and pushing back, once. How dare me be one of the few white kids in a mostly Hispanic LosAngeles school! I ended up being ganged up on and beaten so badly I was in the hospital for a week, and that was 3rd fucking grade!
They could do this for any reason... From size, to being too smart for the class I was in, to if I was the only white kid in the class, to having a new pair of shoes or Knightrider lunchbox, to being the dork that needed an inhaler or wore glasses, to just me accidentally looking at someone or something the wrong way.
Had to learn the hard way to be situationally aware at a young age... Which is terrifying to a kid knowing at such a young age that the world isn't a safe place... And that the whole idea of safety is all just an illusion.
I don't think I stayed at a single school in my childhood for more than a year or two till I reached the end of middle school and the aforementioned puberty made me over six feet tall and someone not to fuck with. Hell my parents were even thinking of homeschooling me at a few points, often happened like that between schools since it was even harder to not get bullied when you are that new kid that came in half way through the year.
After the gang beating, my grandfather, a WWII veteran, started enrolling me in just about every martial arts class and such that he could find, especially after finding out that the playground monitor adults just stood there and let me get beaten till I stopped screaming for help because I had blacked out... Both him and my dad said the bullying wouldn't stop till I found a way to fight back or defend myself.
The only problem with teaching a kid martial arts is: it doesn't make them an actual bad-ass when they have bullies that are 3 plus grade levels above them... No manner of "sum-flung-dung" will prepare you for some hulked up 11 year old that hit an early puberty somewhere around 7. So again had to be situationally aware and adapt. Would always have my head on a swivel, always be looking for ways out just in case, only sitting in back corners to see anything coming, even learned how to pick locks on padlocks and certain types of doors to get into or out of certain places. I used to pick the locks to the ladder covers so I could have my lunch in peace on the roof of the school. Hell now that I think of it, I was a pretty good little ninja at that shit after a while.
Also, most REAL BULLIES come in groups of at least 2, brains and brawn style, plenty of single ones, but the 2-3 thing seemed to be the bully rule of thumb. There was always a leader and his dumb-shit followers. And the part that sucked the most is they could outright torture me, and if I ever fought back they would all make up stories to say I started it, and adults were downright assholes too, so "I" was usually the one getting suspended or expelled because "There's no way they could all have the same story about you starting it." Yeah because a timid kid with glasses and asthma would totally start shit just to get the crap beat out of him.
Chaper two: "You done fucked with the wrong nerd!"
Eventually around the time I was 13 I had my LAST bully...
Here's the story:
He was one of those "held back for 2 years" types that had been harassing me since I was 10... The: "death by a thousand cuts" types of bullies with the "stand behind him and laugh" crew.
Always tripping me, knocking books out of my hands, shoving me into walls, pissing on my backpack or jackets (seriously, what the fuck is with kids peeing on things?), dumping their drinks on me, calling me names I didn't even know the definition of yet, stealing any manner of my property, setting me up to get in trouble some way or another... You know, REAL BULLY stuff, and the fucker was 2 grade levels above me.
Well it was a merciless day in class and out of class, spit wads, getting slapped around and all that shit.
Then before the last class he shoved me back against a wall, took my glasses off my face, threw them on the ground, and stepped on them... Of course pointing and laughing with the other merry bunch of idiots and calling me everything under the sun... Then he gives me one big shove till I fall down and drop everything all over, and throws my now crushed glasses at my face...
After that, the whole world slowed down and the rest was a blur...
Like Popeye eating spinach or the Grinch’s heart growing bigger, my balls must have grown 3 times in size and I went fucking postal on this asswipe.
Apparently I kicked him square in the nuts hard enough to bruise them both making him drop to his knees, then punched him right in the nose, causing a bloody nose, before kneeing him full force in the mouth and knocking out two of his teeth. His merry bunch of idiots ran away just as I started wailing on this vagina queef with 12 years of pent up "FUCK YOU!" to get out of my system.
Again this is all a blur, it wasn't until 3 separate teachers had to pull me off him and drag me to the office that I found out what happened and why my knuckles were bloody, I actually had people telling me what happened because I honestly didn't know.
I was expelled from that school pretty much right on the spot, the only reason the cops weren't called was because I had no previous record there and it happened in the middle of class break with about a bajillion people that were able to say the other kid started it... His parents even paid for me to get new glasses.
Of course I was bawling at this point and shaking and all that, because now I was in deep shit… Or so I thought. My parents took me home and the whole time my dad had this big shit eating grin on his face that he had one time before when I was 10 and got expelled for busting a previous bully in the face with a bathroom stall door and then pissing on his jacket after he had already pissed on my new backpack and rubbed my face in it, so I already knew I wasn't in trouble with dad for a change… Anyway, that shit eating grin, no talking, got me ice cream and a cheeseburger and a short talk from mom that went like this: “I’m not going to say what you did was right… But after all these years I’m proud you stood up for yourself. Now you are grounded for the rest of the day, take a shower and get to bed.”
Apparently what happened that final time followed me to my next school and all the way through highschool and even into early-adulthood. I became that guy people were afraid to screw with, glasses and all, like "Dude! Don't fuck with him, you will get laid the fuck out.", and I absolutely loved it because the bullying was finally over... I made it all the way through high school at a single School without a single problem from anyone else.
Hell I might even say if it weren’t for said bullying, I would have grown up a total little bitch.
...
...
...
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Anyway... Yeah, I know what REAL bullies are... And they are UNAVOIDABLE! And the only ways to deal with them is to, well, move to a new school/city every time, or FUCKING FIGHT BACK!
Now I am constantly hearing of "INTERNET BULLIES" and saying kids are committing suicide or some shit like that because they got harassed on facebook or twitter.
Internet "bullies" are NOT "REAL" BULLIES.
Just because someone(s) doesn't agree with you on a forum, or calls you out on facebook, that does not make them a bully...
"Oh no! There's a meanie bugging me on an entirely optional social media platform that only exists online! I'm such an autistic little sheltered snowflake I might as well die!"
Seriously, stop being such a pussy!
Life isn’t a SAFE SPACE… Life is turmoil and strife and fighting. Humans like to think they are so much more evolved than other creatures when they are not. There are pecking orders and they will be established whether you like it or not. The quicker you dive into life head first and learn to deal with it, the better off you will be.
"But social media bullies?!?!?"
Delete that shit if you have it, or never go on it in the first place!
And never fucking use your REAL NAME online.
Holy fuck, they have had Public Service Announcements for kids that have been going on since the early 2000s saying NEVER TO USE YOUR REAL NAME ONLINE!!! This is pretty much rule #1.
Problem solved!
It really is that easy!
"Oh but Ferretfuck, what if they follow you around IRL and bully you there?"
Then they go from being an internet dipshit to an actual stalker or bully.
"But what about if they say mean and untrue things about you online and it follows you around grade-school?"
Stop giving a shit because most people don't keep relationships from grade-school into their adult life... And anyone that believes any bullshit about you without knowing your side of the story is not someone you want to be friends with in the first place.
Before the internet there was this thing called "GOSSIP" where people spread nasty rumors by word of mouth. Now they just do it from a cellpone or behind a computer screen.
“But Jerkbag McFerretdingus, what can I do with these ONLINE buttfucks?”
Well my little autist, I got a whole series of amazing solutions for you below!
Ignore them (hell this one alone often works best because they get bored and move on), mute them, blacklist them, fire back at them with witty comebacks if you have the ability or brains to, quit farcebook or twatter or any of those other totally optional bullshit social media sites... Seriously, just turn the computer or phone off even.
And gone!
Poof!
Like magic!
Your life will be a lot better without all that stupid social media shit to begin with.
"Oh but Asshole Furret, how will I ever make or keep friends?"
By fucking talking to actual people face to face, and creating ACTUAL REAL WORLD SOCIAL SKILLS THAT DON'T PUT A SCREEN BETWEEN YOU AND SOMEONE ELSE! >.<
Hell the newest generation is already starting to rebel against the whole social media thing because it becomes un-cool when mom and grandpa are using it.
...
...
...
If I had the option to choose how I got bullied when I was younger, I would have picked the fucking internet bullshit because then I could ignore them with just a push of a button!
Hell the internet crap isn't even a bully because: POOF GONE! Oh another account? POOF GONE! Oh his friends now? POOF GONE! Twitter and Facebook? POOF GONE!
In short:
You can't ignore, mute, or blacklist, a REAL bully.
A REAL bully breaks your bones and punches you in the face and steals your lunch money and pees on your things for some reason. So until you can get physically punched in the face through the internet, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GROW SOME BALLS!
An internet bully doesn't internet steal your internet lunch money, or internet punch you in the internet face, or internet piss on your internet backpack, or FUCKING INTERNET GANG BEAT YOU!
“Oh no! My precious feewings were hurt by XxX420dInGuS-bLaYzEiT420XxX, time to commit Seppuku! “ *Achievement Obtained: DARWIN AWARD!*
I have a wee bit of expertise in this area...
Sit back as I regale you with a story:
Chapter one: "The bloody, bloody, early years."
As a kid, back in the medieval ages before the internet was even a thing, long ago before puberty hit me like Mike Fucking Tyson, I was mercilessly bullied in EVERY school I went to. Public and private... Sometimes even by adults and teachers since this was back in the days when pretty much anyone could legally get away with hitting children.
And I'm not talking about just getting called nasty names or being tripped in the hallway... I'm talking about that and everything from getting broken noses and broken fingers, to actual fucking GANG BEATINGS!
Yeah, my biggest GANG BEATING was from 20 kids that beat me (many of them multiple grade levels above me) because I didn't speak Spanish and dared to try standing up for myself to a bully pushing me around and pushing back, once. How dare me be one of the few white kids in a mostly Hispanic LosAngeles school! I ended up being ganged up on and beaten so badly I was in the hospital for a week, and that was 3rd fucking grade!
They could do this for any reason... From size, to being too smart for the class I was in, to if I was the only white kid in the class, to having a new pair of shoes or Knightrider lunchbox, to being the dork that needed an inhaler or wore glasses, to just me accidentally looking at someone or something the wrong way.
Had to learn the hard way to be situationally aware at a young age... Which is terrifying to a kid knowing at such a young age that the world isn't a safe place... And that the whole idea of safety is all just an illusion.
I don't think I stayed at a single school in my childhood for more than a year or two till I reached the end of middle school and the aforementioned puberty made me over six feet tall and someone not to fuck with. Hell my parents were even thinking of homeschooling me at a few points, often happened like that between schools since it was even harder to not get bullied when you are that new kid that came in half way through the year.
After the gang beating, my grandfather, a WWII veteran, started enrolling me in just about every martial arts class and such that he could find, especially after finding out that the playground monitor adults just stood there and let me get beaten till I stopped screaming for help because I had blacked out... Both him and my dad said the bullying wouldn't stop till I found a way to fight back or defend myself.
The only problem with teaching a kid martial arts is: it doesn't make them an actual bad-ass when they have bullies that are 3 plus grade levels above them... No manner of "sum-flung-dung" will prepare you for some hulked up 11 year old that hit an early puberty somewhere around 7. So again had to be situationally aware and adapt. Would always have my head on a swivel, always be looking for ways out just in case, only sitting in back corners to see anything coming, even learned how to pick locks on padlocks and certain types of doors to get into or out of certain places. I used to pick the locks to the ladder covers so I could have my lunch in peace on the roof of the school. Hell now that I think of it, I was a pretty good little ninja at that shit after a while.
Also, most REAL BULLIES come in groups of at least 2, brains and brawn style, plenty of single ones, but the 2-3 thing seemed to be the bully rule of thumb. There was always a leader and his dumb-shit followers. And the part that sucked the most is they could outright torture me, and if I ever fought back they would all make up stories to say I started it, and adults were downright assholes too, so "I" was usually the one getting suspended or expelled because "There's no way they could all have the same story about you starting it." Yeah because a timid kid with glasses and asthma would totally start shit just to get the crap beat out of him.
Chaper two: "You done fucked with the wrong nerd!"
Eventually around the time I was 13 I had my LAST bully...
Here's the story:
He was one of those "held back for 2 years" types that had been harassing me since I was 10... The: "death by a thousand cuts" types of bullies with the "stand behind him and laugh" crew.
Always tripping me, knocking books out of my hands, shoving me into walls, pissing on my backpack or jackets (seriously, what the fuck is with kids peeing on things?), dumping their drinks on me, calling me names I didn't even know the definition of yet, stealing any manner of my property, setting me up to get in trouble some way or another... You know, REAL BULLY stuff, and the fucker was 2 grade levels above me.
Well it was a merciless day in class and out of class, spit wads, getting slapped around and all that shit.
Then before the last class he shoved me back against a wall, took my glasses off my face, threw them on the ground, and stepped on them... Of course pointing and laughing with the other merry bunch of idiots and calling me everything under the sun... Then he gives me one big shove till I fall down and drop everything all over, and throws my now crushed glasses at my face...
After that, the whole world slowed down and the rest was a blur...
Like Popeye eating spinach or the Grinch’s heart growing bigger, my balls must have grown 3 times in size and I went fucking postal on this asswipe.
Apparently I kicked him square in the nuts hard enough to bruise them both making him drop to his knees, then punched him right in the nose, causing a bloody nose, before kneeing him full force in the mouth and knocking out two of his teeth. His merry bunch of idiots ran away just as I started wailing on this vagina queef with 12 years of pent up "FUCK YOU!" to get out of my system.
Again this is all a blur, it wasn't until 3 separate teachers had to pull me off him and drag me to the office that I found out what happened and why my knuckles were bloody, I actually had people telling me what happened because I honestly didn't know.
I was expelled from that school pretty much right on the spot, the only reason the cops weren't called was because I had no previous record there and it happened in the middle of class break with about a bajillion people that were able to say the other kid started it... His parents even paid for me to get new glasses.
Of course I was bawling at this point and shaking and all that, because now I was in deep shit… Or so I thought. My parents took me home and the whole time my dad had this big shit eating grin on his face that he had one time before when I was 10 and got expelled for busting a previous bully in the face with a bathroom stall door and then pissing on his jacket after he had already pissed on my new backpack and rubbed my face in it, so I already knew I wasn't in trouble with dad for a change… Anyway, that shit eating grin, no talking, got me ice cream and a cheeseburger and a short talk from mom that went like this: “I’m not going to say what you did was right… But after all these years I’m proud you stood up for yourself. Now you are grounded for the rest of the day, take a shower and get to bed.”
Apparently what happened that final time followed me to my next school and all the way through highschool and even into early-adulthood. I became that guy people were afraid to screw with, glasses and all, like "Dude! Don't fuck with him, you will get laid the fuck out.", and I absolutely loved it because the bullying was finally over... I made it all the way through high school at a single School without a single problem from anyone else.
Hell I might even say if it weren’t for said bullying, I would have grown up a total little bitch.
...
...
...
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Anyway... Yeah, I know what REAL bullies are... And they are UNAVOIDABLE! And the only ways to deal with them is to, well, move to a new school/city every time, or FUCKING FIGHT BACK!
Now I am constantly hearing of "INTERNET BULLIES" and saying kids are committing suicide or some shit like that because they got harassed on facebook or twitter.
Internet "bullies" are NOT "REAL" BULLIES.
Just because someone(s) doesn't agree with you on a forum, or calls you out on facebook, that does not make them a bully...
"Oh no! There's a meanie bugging me on an entirely optional social media platform that only exists online! I'm such an autistic little sheltered snowflake I might as well die!"
Seriously, stop being such a pussy!
Life isn’t a SAFE SPACE… Life is turmoil and strife and fighting. Humans like to think they are so much more evolved than other creatures when they are not. There are pecking orders and they will be established whether you like it or not. The quicker you dive into life head first and learn to deal with it, the better off you will be.
"But social media bullies?!?!?"
Delete that shit if you have it, or never go on it in the first place!
And never fucking use your REAL NAME online.
Holy fuck, they have had Public Service Announcements for kids that have been going on since the early 2000s saying NEVER TO USE YOUR REAL NAME ONLINE!!! This is pretty much rule #1.
Problem solved!
It really is that easy!
"Oh but Ferretfuck, what if they follow you around IRL and bully you there?"
Then they go from being an internet dipshit to an actual stalker or bully.
"But what about if they say mean and untrue things about you online and it follows you around grade-school?"
Stop giving a shit because most people don't keep relationships from grade-school into their adult life... And anyone that believes any bullshit about you without knowing your side of the story is not someone you want to be friends with in the first place.
Before the internet there was this thing called "GOSSIP" where people spread nasty rumors by word of mouth. Now they just do it from a cellpone or behind a computer screen.
“But Jerkbag McFerretdingus, what can I do with these ONLINE buttfucks?”
Well my little autist, I got a whole series of amazing solutions for you below!
Ignore them (hell this one alone often works best because they get bored and move on), mute them, blacklist them, fire back at them with witty comebacks if you have the ability or brains to, quit farcebook or twatter or any of those other totally optional bullshit social media sites... Seriously, just turn the computer or phone off even.
And gone!
Poof!
Like magic!
Your life will be a lot better without all that stupid social media shit to begin with.
"Oh but Asshole Furret, how will I ever make or keep friends?"
By fucking talking to actual people face to face, and creating ACTUAL REAL WORLD SOCIAL SKILLS THAT DON'T PUT A SCREEN BETWEEN YOU AND SOMEONE ELSE! >.<
Hell the newest generation is already starting to rebel against the whole social media thing because it becomes un-cool when mom and grandpa are using it.
...
...
...
If I had the option to choose how I got bullied when I was younger, I would have picked the fucking internet bullshit because then I could ignore them with just a push of a button!
Hell the internet crap isn't even a bully because: POOF GONE! Oh another account? POOF GONE! Oh his friends now? POOF GONE! Twitter and Facebook? POOF GONE!
In short:
You can't ignore, mute, or blacklist, a REAL bully.
A REAL bully breaks your bones and punches you in the face and steals your lunch money and pees on your things for some reason. So until you can get physically punched in the face through the internet, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GROW SOME BALLS!
An internet bully doesn't internet steal your internet lunch money, or internet punch you in the internet face, or internet piss on your internet backpack, or FUCKING INTERNET GANG BEAT YOU!
“Oh no! My precious feewings were hurt by XxX420dInGuS-bLaYzEiT420XxX, time to commit Seppuku! “ *Achievement Obtained: DARWIN AWARD!*
http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aqL4Mjp_700b.jpg
Thanks for sharing this story. I'm glad to hear you finally took charge of that situation. I shudder to think I wouldn't have been so gentle in the end.
I hated my peers growing up in school. Bullying was a very temporary problem, and stopped shortly after reaching 4th grade. My social skills and etiquette was above average for my age, which made it difficult for me to find like-minded people. I wasn't a nerd, nor did I fit in any other stereotypical category. The very fact that few felt comfortable stepping outside their stereotype, left me with little company. (can't say that's changed much, lol)
Anyway. When I did have peer troubles, I realized teachers and fellow students were only concerned with their own affairs, and cared not for intervening for fear of getting their hands dirty. The notion that you could turn to your teacher to assist you in a bad situation, was taught with naivety at best. I quickly became cynical and reclusive. After that, I didn't bother anybody, and no one troubled me. For some reason later people saw me as one of those quiet 'Columbine' types, heh. After being fed up with the school's curriculum and the students they taught, my parents enrolled me in private school during my latter highschool years. Things got a hell of a lot better after that.
I agree with your views on cyber bullying. Rarely have I been a 'victim' of it; and times that I have, I stated my peace, and moved on. If I really don't think a person is worth my time, I won't even give them the benefit of a response. I'm too old for it, and have far more constrictive matters to attend to. Like with your bullying, I likely wouldn't have grown up to be as mentally independent as I am, if not for the lack of peers influencing my character. It also taught me I do not need people in my life to be content with myself.
I think the few times I ended up in detention in High School was because I called one of the gate "wardens" a "moron" for making a big deal out of me going out the "wrong" gate to get to my car.
Another time I got sent to detention for, get this, "Reading a different than assigned book in English" because I had finished the assigned book in a week while everyone else was still stumbling from page to page a month later, even did a parent teacher meeting to tell my English teacher mother that I'm not reading with the class like I'm supposed to (it was a pretty hilarious back and forth at the time)... I spent one day in detention writing a book report of the assigned book and gave it to the English teacher at the end of the day because she wouldn't believe me... After that she would give me assigned books ahead of time, I'd read them then write the report on them and she'd let me read whatever I wanted after that, she then wanted me as a damn teacher's aid for the next semester...
Same thing happened in wood shop, I had achieved a result on a CD tower project that even the wood shop teacher thought I was "cheating" (getting a smooth varnish like shine and texture while using only hard wood wax) and was going to give me a fail in the class, so I told him to get me ANY bit of wood, even told him to find the most nasty piece he could find and I would achieve similar results with it, stayed after class for 2 days and planed and sanded the crap out of it with higher and higher grits before waxing it right in front of him using a wet rag and multiple layers wood wax before finishing with a super hard synthetic wax, and it turned out just like the cd tower project, he then wanted me as a teacher's aid for the next semester.
I'm an alumni from the school of hard knocks. So many people look back on their school days like it was some magical time of their lives where they peaked in their senior year of high school, while I look back on my entire schooling career as cancerous... Punishing kids for thinking outside the box or achieving beyond what was expected... Hell, High school alone was just a big social experiment, the only classes I remember anything from was economics, metal shop, wood shop, and driving... Hell, those classes were some of the only ones to prepare me for the real world.
I agree, wholeheartedly, with the cynical and reclusive bit, maybe add a splash of being jaded too. Always told as a kid to respect adults and such just to find out when we get older and reach that adulthood that it's all a paycheck and the daily grind to them... Especially with teachers, they don't get anything extra for cultivating exceptional kids so they usually don't even try, and in a lot of cases may even punish kids for trying to go beyond what is being taught. Yeah they were in it for themselves... Even in upper division college and university there are professors that just throw up power-points, then test on said power-points, and that is it! Nothing more than short term memorization and regurgitation.
O.o;
Maybe I should have made a journal on the failings of the American educational system instead?