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...And I cannot Lie...
9 years ago
So about a week ago was national coming out day. I'll say this right now, I'm actually Straight. But that combined with a number of failed relationships made me realize something: You don't have to be LGBT to be in the closet. Being in the closet simply means you are hiding who you really are, and things you can "pretend" don't influence your drives and desires, because society says "This is Weird" or "This is WRONG".
Before I go any futher: This account is an Alias. If you know the other name I go by in the Fandom (because I told you or you Figured it out) PLEASE do not associate the two and tell others about this account. I want to keep these two aliases separated, atleast for now, till I become fully comfortable about coming out about this "weird little thing" society perceives as Wrong and Unantural about my preferences. Even past this point, I will keep these two separated; consider Minolta as my NSFW half.
Even some friends who are Gay and Bi see what I'm attracted to as "un-natural and in-humane" so its taken me a lot of courage to even talk about it here and use this account to favorite art that relates to it. I've also had my share of rejection related to it when my perspective partner found out c.c;;
So here goes... I like Fat Girls. Like... anything from just barely having a muffin top that spills over the waistline to what society considers "Morbidly Obese". And in Fantasy... I'll even go further then that sometimes >.>;;
Just as someone is Bi or Gay I CANNOT explain nor CHANGE my attraction to this particular Niche. I can "cover it up" as I have been forced to do a number of times. But this will never change the fact that deep down I really, really dig thick chicks. I see a plus size lady walking down the street and it turns my head; my heart racing for a few beats. I can't change this...
Fat shaming is a horrible horrible thing, and its just as rampant as Gay Bashing or Racism. But even some people who feel they "Tolerant of others" because they accept the LGBT community and are not "Racist" think its A OKAY to Fat Bash because "Oh well they CHOOSE to be this way! They just need to go on a DIET and then they will be NORMAL like everyone else!!!"
As a bigger guy myself, this hurts. Really it does, how some people can be so openly saying "I am Tolerant!" yet they are so hypocritical and take it out on yet another group. For some people, being Fat is NOT a choice. There are many medical conditions along with genetics that cause many people who eat Normal diets and have active lives but they have very slow metabolisms or other medical problems which make shedding weight and keeping it off very difficult if not impossible.
And for those who do indeed choose to be "Fat" and accept they are Fat; why do you care? How is their choice affecting YOU. How is accepting your body harmful to someone else? Why don't you go down to the Bar, and shame everyone in there for being Drunks. See how well that goes. They are choosing to be drunk, and that is by far not "Healthy" either. But instead, you're going into that Bar every Friday night to get hammered along with all of the other Regulars, as you roll your eyes at the "Fatties" who walk in and order a Burger.
Also as a man, I don't have to put up with Fat Shaming nearly as much as Women do. Most people will politely mention "Oh your a little chubby, maybe you should look into working on that someday..." but they aren't as bold to shame me to my face IE "Go eat a Salad you Fat Tub of Lard!" and "You're so fat no one will ever date you!" that is ever so rampant aimed towards overweight women.
I've had to live my entire life surrounded by people saying what I found attractive was "Repulsive, Ugly and "Go eat a Salad you Fat Bitch". It hasn't been easy. It's a big reason that while the majority of the Fandom is Perfectly Open about their Sexuality I've repressed it. I've repressed it because I had got used to repressing it because I kept getting told over and over by the Media, by the Multi Billion Dollar Diet industry, and even by my Friends that "Being Fat was Repulsive and Un Healthy. If you are fat, no one will EVER love you."
Being someone who's overweight myself, I know this is not true and blown totally out of proportion, fueled in big part by Corperate Greed that wants the American Consumer to become trapped in a never ending cycle of yo-yo dieting, so they can be guilted into paying more money to loose the weight they gained back "During the Holiday Feast".
Would it be nice to loose a little weight? Of course it would... but I still live a perfectly normal and active life. I go for hikes, I do my Nature Photography, I work a normal job just as everyone else. I go to conventions, I won't say which ones... I volunteer as an event photographer where I'm on my feet for eight hours. I own a boat I take out during the Summer. Now... if that isn't "Active" I have no idea what is...
I've dated a few bigger gals before. And all but ONCE (and truthfully, I was not ready for her ;.;) they have major confidence problems because society beats them down every day. Every day they go out and get shamed by the Radio on the way to work, by their co-workers who whisper behind their back. By the clerk at the grocery store who snickers at them because they have a doughnut in their shopping cart.
So when I try to tell them they are Beautiful, they don't believe me. Because they have heard nothing but "You are Ugly" from the world their entire life. I've had dates that were on edge about wearing anything but baggy clothes and long sleeved shirts because they don't want anyone seeing their "Horribly Ugly Fat arms." Hey... I think chubby arms are wonderful. A nice soft place for my hand to rest while my arm is around her shoulder... I don't see the Problem here...
And when it comes to the point to tell them "Hey you know... I have a little secret. I really dig Fat Chicks" that has almost always been the start of the end of that relationship if it's not immediate. Because in their mind, they HAVE to be actively trying to loose weight to make themselves more attractive to me; and when I tell them I don't think that way... a lot have a hard time believing me or think there is something Wrong with me that I would find them attractive as they are, before they loose a whole ton of weight at the gym and become "Normal"... *sigh*
So after my last relationship (which ended for other reasons, its complicated and I'm not going into it) I tried dating a gal who was thinner, even if she was still probably "Too Big" for a lot of your Joe Shmoe guys. And I... I'll have to admit it, I couldn't stay attracted to her. She felt this, and dumped me. I saw it coming... but I'm not dwelling on it because...
When I hug a big gal, all I can feel is softness. Its like hugging a wonderfully soft, and warm full body pillow. I don't want to let go... because there is nothing else that can compare to it.
When we hold hands, I can feel the warmpth and softness of her arms atop mine. I don't feel like I'm holding onto a wooden plank...
I've never been able to convince a heavy set gal to sit on my lap. Every time they are worried they will break me. I'm 6' 4" and built like an NFL player... trust me hon, I can handle it ^^;; But alas... its still at most fantasy for me, as is most of the Artwork I've been faving...
But I will say this... I've been Lurking around the edges of the Fat Fur community for a long time now. Watching, but never making myself known by any alias. They seem to be a very accepting community. Maybe it's time I open up a little, and see where it goes. Who knows... maybe someday it will lead to finding my other half that can accept me for me too.
But for now... I need to start accepting who I am... even if I have to use a second Alias that few or any people know about. It's a start; and no matter what I still plan on keeping this "little part of me" separate from the rest... because I can respect that some "Don't want to see it" Just as their are many fetishes out there I find repulsive myself, so I can't really talk. But I can, decide to not belittle or bash people for liking something, even if it's a total turn off for me.
Because that is the whole human Enigma. Everyone finds something attractive. And what is attractive and sexy to one person is Repulsive to another. There is no "Normal" in spite of what Western Standards of Beauty say.
So go, be Gay; be Bi, Be Straight. Love men, Love Women, Love every race. Love Tall people, Love Short people. Love Thin and love Thick.
Love wins, period, end of story. It sees no Race, Color, Creed, Gender. It's just as blind about how thin you are or how heavy you are. There is someone out there who finds you attractive for YOU and not to change into someone else.
Before I go any futher: This account is an Alias. If you know the other name I go by in the Fandom (because I told you or you Figured it out) PLEASE do not associate the two and tell others about this account. I want to keep these two aliases separated, atleast for now, till I become fully comfortable about coming out about this "weird little thing" society perceives as Wrong and Unantural about my preferences. Even past this point, I will keep these two separated; consider Minolta as my NSFW half.
Even some friends who are Gay and Bi see what I'm attracted to as "un-natural and in-humane" so its taken me a lot of courage to even talk about it here and use this account to favorite art that relates to it. I've also had my share of rejection related to it when my perspective partner found out c.c;;
So here goes... I like Fat Girls. Like... anything from just barely having a muffin top that spills over the waistline to what society considers "Morbidly Obese". And in Fantasy... I'll even go further then that sometimes >.>;;
Just as someone is Bi or Gay I CANNOT explain nor CHANGE my attraction to this particular Niche. I can "cover it up" as I have been forced to do a number of times. But this will never change the fact that deep down I really, really dig thick chicks. I see a plus size lady walking down the street and it turns my head; my heart racing for a few beats. I can't change this...
Fat shaming is a horrible horrible thing, and its just as rampant as Gay Bashing or Racism. But even some people who feel they "Tolerant of others" because they accept the LGBT community and are not "Racist" think its A OKAY to Fat Bash because "Oh well they CHOOSE to be this way! They just need to go on a DIET and then they will be NORMAL like everyone else!!!"
As a bigger guy myself, this hurts. Really it does, how some people can be so openly saying "I am Tolerant!" yet they are so hypocritical and take it out on yet another group. For some people, being Fat is NOT a choice. There are many medical conditions along with genetics that cause many people who eat Normal diets and have active lives but they have very slow metabolisms or other medical problems which make shedding weight and keeping it off very difficult if not impossible.
And for those who do indeed choose to be "Fat" and accept they are Fat; why do you care? How is their choice affecting YOU. How is accepting your body harmful to someone else? Why don't you go down to the Bar, and shame everyone in there for being Drunks. See how well that goes. They are choosing to be drunk, and that is by far not "Healthy" either. But instead, you're going into that Bar every Friday night to get hammered along with all of the other Regulars, as you roll your eyes at the "Fatties" who walk in and order a Burger.
Also as a man, I don't have to put up with Fat Shaming nearly as much as Women do. Most people will politely mention "Oh your a little chubby, maybe you should look into working on that someday..." but they aren't as bold to shame me to my face IE "Go eat a Salad you Fat Tub of Lard!" and "You're so fat no one will ever date you!" that is ever so rampant aimed towards overweight women.
I've had to live my entire life surrounded by people saying what I found attractive was "Repulsive, Ugly and "Go eat a Salad you Fat Bitch". It hasn't been easy. It's a big reason that while the majority of the Fandom is Perfectly Open about their Sexuality I've repressed it. I've repressed it because I had got used to repressing it because I kept getting told over and over by the Media, by the Multi Billion Dollar Diet industry, and even by my Friends that "Being Fat was Repulsive and Un Healthy. If you are fat, no one will EVER love you."
Being someone who's overweight myself, I know this is not true and blown totally out of proportion, fueled in big part by Corperate Greed that wants the American Consumer to become trapped in a never ending cycle of yo-yo dieting, so they can be guilted into paying more money to loose the weight they gained back "During the Holiday Feast".
Would it be nice to loose a little weight? Of course it would... but I still live a perfectly normal and active life. I go for hikes, I do my Nature Photography, I work a normal job just as everyone else. I go to conventions, I won't say which ones... I volunteer as an event photographer where I'm on my feet for eight hours. I own a boat I take out during the Summer. Now... if that isn't "Active" I have no idea what is...
I've dated a few bigger gals before. And all but ONCE (and truthfully, I was not ready for her ;.;) they have major confidence problems because society beats them down every day. Every day they go out and get shamed by the Radio on the way to work, by their co-workers who whisper behind their back. By the clerk at the grocery store who snickers at them because they have a doughnut in their shopping cart.
So when I try to tell them they are Beautiful, they don't believe me. Because they have heard nothing but "You are Ugly" from the world their entire life. I've had dates that were on edge about wearing anything but baggy clothes and long sleeved shirts because they don't want anyone seeing their "Horribly Ugly Fat arms." Hey... I think chubby arms are wonderful. A nice soft place for my hand to rest while my arm is around her shoulder... I don't see the Problem here...
And when it comes to the point to tell them "Hey you know... I have a little secret. I really dig Fat Chicks" that has almost always been the start of the end of that relationship if it's not immediate. Because in their mind, they HAVE to be actively trying to loose weight to make themselves more attractive to me; and when I tell them I don't think that way... a lot have a hard time believing me or think there is something Wrong with me that I would find them attractive as they are, before they loose a whole ton of weight at the gym and become "Normal"... *sigh*
So after my last relationship (which ended for other reasons, its complicated and I'm not going into it) I tried dating a gal who was thinner, even if she was still probably "Too Big" for a lot of your Joe Shmoe guys. And I... I'll have to admit it, I couldn't stay attracted to her. She felt this, and dumped me. I saw it coming... but I'm not dwelling on it because...
When I hug a big gal, all I can feel is softness. Its like hugging a wonderfully soft, and warm full body pillow. I don't want to let go... because there is nothing else that can compare to it.
When we hold hands, I can feel the warmpth and softness of her arms atop mine. I don't feel like I'm holding onto a wooden plank...
I've never been able to convince a heavy set gal to sit on my lap. Every time they are worried they will break me. I'm 6' 4" and built like an NFL player... trust me hon, I can handle it ^^;; But alas... its still at most fantasy for me, as is most of the Artwork I've been faving...
But I will say this... I've been Lurking around the edges of the Fat Fur community for a long time now. Watching, but never making myself known by any alias. They seem to be a very accepting community. Maybe it's time I open up a little, and see where it goes. Who knows... maybe someday it will lead to finding my other half that can accept me for me too.
But for now... I need to start accepting who I am... even if I have to use a second Alias that few or any people know about. It's a start; and no matter what I still plan on keeping this "little part of me" separate from the rest... because I can respect that some "Don't want to see it" Just as their are many fetishes out there I find repulsive myself, so I can't really talk. But I can, decide to not belittle or bash people for liking something, even if it's a total turn off for me.
Because that is the whole human Enigma. Everyone finds something attractive. And what is attractive and sexy to one person is Repulsive to another. There is no "Normal" in spite of what Western Standards of Beauty say.
So go, be Gay; be Bi, Be Straight. Love men, Love Women, Love every race. Love Tall people, Love Short people. Love Thin and love Thick.
Love wins, period, end of story. It sees no Race, Color, Creed, Gender. It's just as blind about how thin you are or how heavy you are. There is someone out there who finds you attractive for YOU and not to change into someone else.
Also, I just noticed how old this was, but I think in today’s society, this still stands.