Hey! I think it's really nice of you to be talking a bit about yourself here. Sometimes I think the artist/public interactions here (in the internet, in general) is often pretty cold, so I guess it's nice to have a chat ^^
I don't have a lot to talk about myself, I guess, so I'd just like to leave a shout out to you: I really love your work, I think it's unique and full of emotion <3

Thank you much! I used to be more chatty on here but I kind of clammed up after a while, I figure a little attempt to get back to it might not hurt.

You're welcome ^^
Oh, I tend to be pretty quiet around here too, I basically just reply to comments left in my stuff, but it's only when I see journals like this one that really get me talking ^^
And "I'm traveling to somewhere" journals. Love to talk about trips <3

Excited for your up coming semester? Its nice to see more people here come off as open. I clicked on this entry since for once it wasn't just another [commissions open] journal entry lol. Whats your perception of the community on this website? I've mostly tried to distance myself.

I guess to talk about myself I live in NY and have been living here for all of my life. Its cold lol. I'm starting my 4th semester as a computer science major in about a week or so. I'm both excited and concerned about some of my up and coming classes lol.

The community here is... largely pretty hostile to someone like myself, which caused a lot of my withdrawing and becoming quieter on here overall. Though, there's plenty of very nice and sweet people too, so it's worth trying to reach out to them at least.

I have a few friends who are CS majors! From the sound of it it's hard but rewarding. I'm pretty okay with my course load this time around, so it should be an okay semester for myself.

I don't mean to prod but what do you mean by the community is hostile towards people like yourself? I feel like I might have missed something but I can't say for sure since I didn't like the community enough to get invested into it.

Also CS is really fun; its just cool to figure out different and sometimes better ways to solve practical problems lol.

The community here is generally fairly transphobic, with a lot of fighting about it overall and not something I tend to get into anymore, haha.

And I can imagine! I've had fun with the problem solving aspects of it with what little I've done in the field, feels like a puzzle game sometimes!

That's terrible but at least you can distance yourself from the community. How has your transition been? Do you feel more comfortable now than you did before? I'd hope your real world environment is more welcoming than this website lol.

I'm sorry to say I can't relate very much. I'm gay and have had more than a couple school/ family related issues to it but for the most part I came out alright. Still I'm pretty happy and eager to listen to different experiences. Hoping everything goes well with you!

It's alright, you do what you can. My family and friends are supportive, I'm better than I was, and that's all I really need at the end of the day haha. Thank you!

who are you

what is a bird

This might be odd, but. Just wanted to thank you for being one of the people whose writing helped me to finally examine myself and realize that I needed to transition.

Plus your art is good stuff.

Oh, that's a big compliment. I know that point is one that can be very hard to reach, so I think congratulations are in order.

Hi! Its nice to meet you Payne. Biology and ornithology must be a wonderful field and branch to study. I know I'd have a lot of fun with it, but might find it incredibly hard to focus and remember things. I really hope that is going very well for you!

I'm a fairly new watcher/fan of yours so I can't comment on how much you've progressed over the years but I love your style and unique characters. In fact I relate a lot to one of your characters specifically based on his design. Marco I believe is his name. Body is similar to character that I personify.

I'm excited for all the new art you post in the future and hear from you more often. I'm extremely quiet and I haven't befriended anyone on here for a long while so I've clammed up personally too ^^;

Haha, I actually have disorders that affect attention and memory, but it's doable even if it's sometimes a struggle! I feel like a lot of people are scared away from the sciences because it feels like too much, but it's definitely very fun!

And thank you! I have a lot of fun with his design, so it's good to hear that other people enjoy it too.

Well hello, I know we have had some interactions in the past but it is nice to know just a little more about you. Another person in the biological sciences is always good to see, since depending on your program it can be very interdisciplinary which a lot of very focused tech and business programs often sorely lack.

And I can understand why it is hard to be open here. Furry, and by extension FA, has corners that you should certainly avoid. It's been that way for years and while some of that still rears its ugly head now and again, it is a little better now. Still, FA is primarily a place where the users are here for porn and there's still drama. Not dissing people that like erotic stuff at all (I absolutely do!), but it is a little discouraging to artists to see anything pornographic get a lot of attention and clean stuff, no matter how masterfully done, get comparatively little sometimes.

Sometimes it can be hard to be personable or leave meaningful comments when you're busy and you see so much talent on display as well. At least, that's a problem I have. Either way, I hope maybe you can feel a little more welcome here. There are still great people in this community, despite how grating it can sometimes be.

So, I hope you can feel a little more welcome again Payne!

My original track was veterinary science, and my current track is a weird liberal arts amalgam of that and scientific illustration, so I'm kind of all over the place as far as the disciplines go. I find biology lends itself very well to that, which is why I'm so enthused about the field!

I definitely partake in making erotic art, so I can't pretend I don't, but I tend to keep it pretty lowkey because of past bad experiences with it. If folks want to use it as a stepping stone to more business or just because that's what they enjoy making, that's definitely cool! I kind of envy the ability to handle the attention and crowd that comes with it.

And I hope so too! I don't mind the occasional chat session, though I can't keep it up as much as I used to, haha.

Hi.
Probably difficult question.

Have you legally transitioned? Any thoughts on "picking one" for that with regard to your nb identity?
I'm nearly 30 now and post-transition ftm. I am pretty sure I'm actually nb (identified as that first too, actually) but at the end of the day being read as male is enough and I don't really worry about anything gender-related anymore.

Now it's not really an active thing but at times I will wonder on the reality of nb or if there are actually any nb "struggles" or whatever. I realize everyone's different and just because I don't have any nb-related dysphoria doesn't mean somebody else wont, but, idk, as soon as I got on a pretty legit dose of T it all evened out for me so.

Not sure where I'm going here and sorry if I'm rude. But since you mentioned you're on HRT and since I've read your past journals about ftm-related things I just assumed you decided to "pick male" despite being nb.

How do you think this affects people or transgenderism in general? If we can be comfortable in picking one, and all that? ARE you even comfortable having to legally pick one?
Sorry if this opens a huge can of worms.
Feel free to not answer.

Hi there! It's a bit of a complicated question overall and my identity re: transition is still something I'm figuring out, and am comfortable with it being a bit fluid as those things go.

As it is, I've legally and medically (HRT via testosterone) transitioned, yes. My papers say male, and for most interactions it's what I go with because not very many people are familiar with nonbinary identities, and it's not a conversation I wish to have 20 times a day (nor a vulnerability I wish to expose to people who may not be the kindest regarding it). I don't deal much with physical dsyphoria anymore (I rarely did even pre-testosterone), but the social dysphoria is still there. It's lessened, because I'm definitely more okay being ID'd as male than I am female, but being ID'd as male still gives me at least a twinge of discomfort. I'd much rather be neither to most people, and having to fit into the binary system does cause me distress.

I've actually decided to stop HRT for a while and see how that makes me feel, and whether that helps me feel better. Having spoken with my doctor regarding it, aspects I like will stay regardless of whether I continue testosterone or not, and some aspects I liked better pre-HRT will start to come back. Both my endocrinologist and psychologist are fully supportive and understanding of my nonbinary identity, and hope to get me to a place where I can be as comfortable as possible.

Should it ever become a legal thing in my state of residence, I may well go to have my papers changed to a nonbinary gender. As it is, I'm comfortable being called he/him by most people and that's all anyone needs to really know about my gender in most interactions, so it's just something I deal with.

Thanks for answering. I hope it goes well for you.

Originally when I came out I was out as androgyne and was pretty open about it in my early college days. Then one day someone explained hormones to me and that in order to be, basically healthy, I had to pick one. I ended up picking male and it kinda snowballed from there.

Since then there's been other drugs and/or advancements that seem to even stuff out but I like being read as masculine so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Life is funny. Good luck to you.

Ornithology is awesome. (^^>