This is a bit of self indulgent rambling, so, apologies in advance!

So I had been planning to do a journal to commemorate mine and Simbas tenth anniversary, and I had been going over what I wanted to say within it.

Sometimes it’s really difficult, when you’re extremely passionate about something, you want to say a lot, but don’t want it to get it to be too jumbled with needless things. At the same time, you don’t want to say too little, which is, at the same time a mute point…I could never really say enough about how I feel about Simba.

I was going to start at the beginning, when we first got to chatting, But honestly I don’t have the fondest memories of those times. So I got to thinking, maybe instead I’d start in the present…today.

I had a doctors appointment about a week ago, with a doctor whom has been, to put it politely, kind of stand-offish with me. I rarely ever see him in person, it’s usually a nurse practitioner, and my appointment always takes twice as long as Simbas for some reason. On the occasions I do see him, he can never get out of the room fast enough, and is always a little on the cold side.

Normally Simba is always present for these, he helps talk to the doctor, either in raising concerns I forget, or raising objections when they want to perform needless tests. I’m a bit of an introverted person, I’m quiet, and tend to shy away from people or groups, it can be a bit overwhelming at times. Generally, if someone doesn’t approach me to talk, I don’t talk…at all. I was on my own this time however, as he had an appointment too. Well, naturally, the nurse practitioner doesn’t waste any time with barraging me with tests she feels I need, and informing me of things I already know. Being thorough is fine but, it’s a little exhausting to me, especially since I’m not the type to object to anything if they make it sound like I need to do something. I have no reason to disagree; they’re the doctors after all! Anyways, the actual doctor comes in, and he’s as uptight and professional as usual, and on top of the tests the nurse thinks I should have…he wants me to try this new drug to replace what I’m already in the midst of using.

Um, okay.

I probably had the ‘deer caught in headlights’ look at this point, I was overwhelmed, feeling a bit worried of what all this would entail. I needed someone there to tell them that all this wasn’t necessary…

So I got out, and Simbas appointment was already long over, and when I related all this to him he was a bit flabbergasted too, to say the least.

But to fast forward a little, I got to thinking, as I stood up to write this that, aside from just being someone who loves me, who needs me…he takes care of me. He holds my hand and guides me through things that I would have trouble finding my way through otherwise. He’s my hero, that keeps me from falling apart when even seemingly minuscule things that are going on in my life can make me feel like breaking down and crying.

He’s an extremely wonderful, special individual that deserves so much more than I, or anyone else in his life could ever give him, because he does so much for me. Not only me really, he does so much for numerous people in his life, far more than they probably realize…but I hope they do, some day.

I know I do, and I reflect on how lucky I am each day. I know I can be a difficult person, I’m not always as tolerant, understanding, or patient as I could be. But one thing I know I will always excel at…I couldn’t possibly love him anymore than I do. That’s the one thing that’s always been true, right from the first day he stepped off the plane, coming to my rescue, making me see how good life could be, and how love is supposed to feel…and look.

Well…without babbling on much more than I need too here, I just wanted to say that this last ten years has been very blessed…and I’m so glad to still be here by his side.

I love you, my angel.
2007-2017


~Boz