Econo right now in my bed hurdle to the fetal position my grandmother had a fall and she was unresponsive and we called nine-one-one and got an ambulance here and took them to the hospital the EMTs constantly tried CPR and tried to resuscitate her but we found out that she had a heart attack and passed I should be feeling more emotion I know I should but why am I so calm about this has it become so bad for me that I can't feel emotions I feel like I'm calm and compose but I want to cry I want to scream I want to get angry I want to throw something to the window and fucking break it but feel like doing that why am I not a torrent of emotion.....