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Read if you identify as 'Male to Female' Transgender
8 years ago
There is a tremendous lack of Transgender Male to Female and Female to Male presence in the entire Furry Community, and I am writing this to encourage more people to open up.
On the contrary, a fair portion of the Furry Community are actually Transgender but do not openly express it due to concerns about safety, discrimination and issues by the non Furry public.
Let's face it, public society hates anything different from their perceived view of the world and oppose anything that gets in the way of it.
I've been a Furry since I first played Sonic Adventure and have been ever since.
People may find this ironic, but I don't actually identify as 'Transgender' at all.
Why?
First, actually take the time to look up what 'trans' and 'gender' actually mean as a conjugation (I know English and Japanese fluently!)
(When discussing this idea with my Gender Counselor, even she was impressed I did my research and shocked I didn't label myself as Transgender like everyone else did)
First some grammar, which is a big step in transitioning.
Transgender simply means you are transitioning your gender, so you are actually advocating that you were once a man which most people aren't fond of.
Think of this as an adverb, it's not a verb or action but a continual present tense situation.
I'm no fan of openly telling people 'Well, I use to be a man, now I am a woman... so accept me or go away."
All this does is piss people off and I have personally witnessed actual Transgender people do this and it has made me cringe every time.
The sad truth is, and based on my own experiences, people just want to see someone who actually cares about themselves, not a half-baked or half-assed attempt to dress as a woman... it's unsettling even to me.
A huge golden rule of thumb most MtF Transgender should follow is to actually understand women, the target gender they are going for.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had Transgender customers at my job and the second they talk they have no clue how hideous they can be.
Here's a short list of problems I have noticed:
Prominent Male voice with nearly no female voice training, hushed and sounds annoying (some have been transitioning for over 20 years, come on!)
Out of shape and weight does not reflect female anatomy
Posture and body language is almost entirely male
Clothing and Accessories make it worse sometimes (some Transgender customers I have seen are literally covered in them!)
Poor hygiene (no joke, some smell like they came from a gym, horrible breath or even didn't bother doing their hair at all!)
Accidentally make masculinity even more obvious
It's not to say all Transgender individuals do this, but if you look at YouTube videos, the Trans community or any public area... chances are you'll find mediocre voice work and presenters but I rarely ever see someone trying to actually do the 'female' presentation right.
That's where I differentiate.
For years before my transition, I made mental notes and actual notes asking myself what I should do, train for and avoid that so many have failed at already.
Before my transition, I spent nearly a decade practicing my female voice in private on my former iPhone by using a voice memo app and would listen to the recording with several native female examples to aim for, including a job waving a sign (although I stopped when people would walk around me and continued when the coast was clear)
Perfecting my female voice was literally a requirement before I would even start, considering how we all listen to things these days, I did myself a favor.
I researched and scoured the web for tutorials on voice techniques, singing tips and more until my voice got somewhere even decent.
However, voice isn't the only thing, you have to understand women before you think you are one... that's almost exclusively ignored these days and a reason most trans violence exists.
The political media loves to say hate is on the rise toward Transgender people, but the bigger and more realistic picture is, it's our own damn fault.
The reason is simple, if you don't sound, act and look female, you are basically outing yourself and it is your responsibility for yourself.
Transitioning in private, or stealth, is what makes you the safest and more confident with yourself.
Trying things like acting, portraying and copying actors is your biggest bet when it comes to communicating with people that you are who you are... ever notice how actors can convince viewers they are a particular character?
I started out by mimicking Japanese women at first seeing as how I was constantly studying Japanese, and it worked well.
Do not share your work in progress!
Your phone and modern tech has GPS location dangerous people can use to harm you, people can also hack you as well if you aren't tech savvy.
Don't give haters the ammunition they desire.
If you are in a dangerous situation, sensitive situation or area, having a media device with no connections to the internet or social media is your best way to do this.
Chances are, people are curious enough to invade your privacy regardless of how you feel.
Once I got everything together, it was the acting that needed help, so I set out to correct my posture, body language and observe malls and other venues that had an eyeful of female behavior and walk... it was very helpful in my studies.
Go to a mall or area largely populated with women and bring your phone, write or do something so it doesn't appear like you are stalking, women notice that more than men, especially if there are children involved.
Use your peripheral vision as often as you can or pretend you are looking elsewhere out of curiosity while observing women, it makes you look less creepy.
Write or type notes on your phone, tablet or laptop to make it appear like you are waiting for a ride or waiting for someone, that tells people you have no business with them and is a perfect excuse.
Take note how women talk, their voice, mannerisms, body language, tone of voice, discussions they have with others, etc.
This is basically what you should be copying or noting.
Do not dress like a bum or look casual, look important like you have a reason and people will not take you as a stalker or pervert.
Visually communicating your reason tells people they are safe and have no reason to worry about you.
Also, don't forget to observe men, it gives you a chance to reflect on what you yourself do and should not do anymore.
I've noticed when observing men at my job, I tend to find things I used to do within them and it discourages me to do it anymore... it's sort of like a reminder to not do it anymore.
Pay attention to how couples or single mothers address, talk to and mention their kids.
It's no secret mothers are concerned about their kids safety and being Transgender dressed as a perceivable man is the WORST thing you can do to set that red alarm off.
Trust me on this, I have seen it happen and even I face-palm big-time.
Fathers or boyfriends are protective of the kid, so don't come off as some half-assed man-woman in their eyes or trouble might be your first name.
This is actually a big issue with Transgender violence and accounts for a lot of Trans deaths.
Do NOT date men and women blindly, they have feelings too and tricking them could encourage physical problems... so your best bet is to actually date yourself!
Can you tolerate yourself?
When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you believe an outsider or random person would want you physically?
More importantly, do you want yourself?
Understanding yourself and knowing who you are shows you have confidence and others want that too.
If you are struggling to understand who you are, you should continue that journey or seek a professional to guide you.
Help is better than death or abuse.
Avoid most LGBT Communities, in my personal experience they are littered with politics and brainwashing... it's annoying and unhelpful.
Basically, you are in a group of people who act more like men than women and few have any idea what to do.
All the information you need is already online or services available to you, and it's rare anyone has valuable information other than wasting your time.
Due to the absence of reality, most functions like this cater to political brainwashing, politics and pointless banter and activism... none of it is geared to help your personal journey and is a reason why I stopped visiting these functions.
Lastly, everyone is unique... and most people prefer their own safe corner and never grow up.
The best Transwomen aren't Transgender.
Ever notice how some who identify as a women don't protest, come out or tell the world who they are?
Some celebrities made a wise decision to not come out for a reason, the more out you are the more a stereotype you become.
When people know you for who you are, not a man-woman, your chance of being accepted isn't even a question anymore... if they don't know, why tell them?
Scout people!
Only tell people you trust 100% about who you are.
In my very early years, I tested my friends by pretending to have a sort of 'trans or not?' game, in a casual manner, to determine their unbiased thoughts and opinions.
I gathered images of actual transwomen and biological women and pretended like a website had it and tested them like a gag.
Play along with your friends!
The second you are offended, it tells someone the game was rigged or they were tricked... people hate being lied to.
Even if it offends you deeply, remember, your life is in danger so pretend like you agree with them!
Pride can also work against you, because the pride of others may be different than yours.
If you find some problematic beliefs or opinions in some people, it's better to find other friends who won't hurt, abuse or harm you.
Friends come and go, finding ones who like you for your new trans self will easily be helpful to you
DO NOT PROTEST!
Protesting annoys people and most people don't bother to read the fine print or real reason for decisions these days.
In my findings, especially in news these days, bloggers are either paid to lie or purposely mis-word or mis-interpret ideas, concepts and news to the public to convey a personal agenda.
DO NOT BELIEVE THE INTERNET!
Most people rant or protest online after spending a few seconds reading a head-line and don't bother to get into the boring 'meat' of the meaning.
Those who follow fake troll news or believe everything they read online are actually trolled.
The reason people protest trans rights or discrimination is because they are either so ugly or annoying in real life to be around they have to bully the public to get unwanted attention.
I've seen actual protesters at my job and in my experience, they were horrible people no-one in the right mind would want to be around!
Women have a better grasp of language, grammar, words, meanings, manners, sentences and carefully chosen words unlike men.
Take some time to actually research words and get yourself a dictionary, it's stereotypical that women are more interested in studies and that is another feminine attitude to have.
Unlike men though, women also talk slower, take their time and enunciate clearer than men do... so how you talk and your speech is like is also a huge indicator in your progression.
Language is almost ignored in the Transgender community, those who actually bother with it come out smarter and better than the rest.
On the contrary, a fair portion of the Furry Community are actually Transgender but do not openly express it due to concerns about safety, discrimination and issues by the non Furry public.
Let's face it, public society hates anything different from their perceived view of the world and oppose anything that gets in the way of it.
I've been a Furry since I first played Sonic Adventure and have been ever since.
People may find this ironic, but I don't actually identify as 'Transgender' at all.
Why?
First, actually take the time to look up what 'trans' and 'gender' actually mean as a conjugation (I know English and Japanese fluently!)
(When discussing this idea with my Gender Counselor, even she was impressed I did my research and shocked I didn't label myself as Transgender like everyone else did)
First some grammar, which is a big step in transitioning.
Transgender simply means you are transitioning your gender, so you are actually advocating that you were once a man which most people aren't fond of.
Think of this as an adverb, it's not a verb or action but a continual present tense situation.
I'm no fan of openly telling people 'Well, I use to be a man, now I am a woman... so accept me or go away."
All this does is piss people off and I have personally witnessed actual Transgender people do this and it has made me cringe every time.
The sad truth is, and based on my own experiences, people just want to see someone who actually cares about themselves, not a half-baked or half-assed attempt to dress as a woman... it's unsettling even to me.
A huge golden rule of thumb most MtF Transgender should follow is to actually understand women, the target gender they are going for.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had Transgender customers at my job and the second they talk they have no clue how hideous they can be.
Here's a short list of problems I have noticed:
Prominent Male voice with nearly no female voice training, hushed and sounds annoying (some have been transitioning for over 20 years, come on!)
Out of shape and weight does not reflect female anatomy
Posture and body language is almost entirely male
Clothing and Accessories make it worse sometimes (some Transgender customers I have seen are literally covered in them!)
Poor hygiene (no joke, some smell like they came from a gym, horrible breath or even didn't bother doing their hair at all!)
Accidentally make masculinity even more obvious
It's not to say all Transgender individuals do this, but if you look at YouTube videos, the Trans community or any public area... chances are you'll find mediocre voice work and presenters but I rarely ever see someone trying to actually do the 'female' presentation right.
That's where I differentiate.
For years before my transition, I made mental notes and actual notes asking myself what I should do, train for and avoid that so many have failed at already.
Before my transition, I spent nearly a decade practicing my female voice in private on my former iPhone by using a voice memo app and would listen to the recording with several native female examples to aim for, including a job waving a sign (although I stopped when people would walk around me and continued when the coast was clear)
Perfecting my female voice was literally a requirement before I would even start, considering how we all listen to things these days, I did myself a favor.
I researched and scoured the web for tutorials on voice techniques, singing tips and more until my voice got somewhere even decent.
However, voice isn't the only thing, you have to understand women before you think you are one... that's almost exclusively ignored these days and a reason most trans violence exists.
The political media loves to say hate is on the rise toward Transgender people, but the bigger and more realistic picture is, it's our own damn fault.
The reason is simple, if you don't sound, act and look female, you are basically outing yourself and it is your responsibility for yourself.
Transitioning in private, or stealth, is what makes you the safest and more confident with yourself.
Trying things like acting, portraying and copying actors is your biggest bet when it comes to communicating with people that you are who you are... ever notice how actors can convince viewers they are a particular character?
I started out by mimicking Japanese women at first seeing as how I was constantly studying Japanese, and it worked well.
Do not share your work in progress!
Your phone and modern tech has GPS location dangerous people can use to harm you, people can also hack you as well if you aren't tech savvy.
Don't give haters the ammunition they desire.
If you are in a dangerous situation, sensitive situation or area, having a media device with no connections to the internet or social media is your best way to do this.
Chances are, people are curious enough to invade your privacy regardless of how you feel.
Once I got everything together, it was the acting that needed help, so I set out to correct my posture, body language and observe malls and other venues that had an eyeful of female behavior and walk... it was very helpful in my studies.
Go to a mall or area largely populated with women and bring your phone, write or do something so it doesn't appear like you are stalking, women notice that more than men, especially if there are children involved.
Use your peripheral vision as often as you can or pretend you are looking elsewhere out of curiosity while observing women, it makes you look less creepy.
Write or type notes on your phone, tablet or laptop to make it appear like you are waiting for a ride or waiting for someone, that tells people you have no business with them and is a perfect excuse.
Take note how women talk, their voice, mannerisms, body language, tone of voice, discussions they have with others, etc.
This is basically what you should be copying or noting.
Do not dress like a bum or look casual, look important like you have a reason and people will not take you as a stalker or pervert.
Visually communicating your reason tells people they are safe and have no reason to worry about you.
Also, don't forget to observe men, it gives you a chance to reflect on what you yourself do and should not do anymore.
I've noticed when observing men at my job, I tend to find things I used to do within them and it discourages me to do it anymore... it's sort of like a reminder to not do it anymore.
Pay attention to how couples or single mothers address, talk to and mention their kids.
It's no secret mothers are concerned about their kids safety and being Transgender dressed as a perceivable man is the WORST thing you can do to set that red alarm off.
Trust me on this, I have seen it happen and even I face-palm big-time.
Fathers or boyfriends are protective of the kid, so don't come off as some half-assed man-woman in their eyes or trouble might be your first name.
This is actually a big issue with Transgender violence and accounts for a lot of Trans deaths.
Do NOT date men and women blindly, they have feelings too and tricking them could encourage physical problems... so your best bet is to actually date yourself!
Can you tolerate yourself?
When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you believe an outsider or random person would want you physically?
More importantly, do you want yourself?
Understanding yourself and knowing who you are shows you have confidence and others want that too.
If you are struggling to understand who you are, you should continue that journey or seek a professional to guide you.
Help is better than death or abuse.
Avoid most LGBT Communities, in my personal experience they are littered with politics and brainwashing... it's annoying and unhelpful.
Basically, you are in a group of people who act more like men than women and few have any idea what to do.
All the information you need is already online or services available to you, and it's rare anyone has valuable information other than wasting your time.
Due to the absence of reality, most functions like this cater to political brainwashing, politics and pointless banter and activism... none of it is geared to help your personal journey and is a reason why I stopped visiting these functions.
Lastly, everyone is unique... and most people prefer their own safe corner and never grow up.
The best Transwomen aren't Transgender.
Ever notice how some who identify as a women don't protest, come out or tell the world who they are?
Some celebrities made a wise decision to not come out for a reason, the more out you are the more a stereotype you become.
When people know you for who you are, not a man-woman, your chance of being accepted isn't even a question anymore... if they don't know, why tell them?
Scout people!
Only tell people you trust 100% about who you are.
In my very early years, I tested my friends by pretending to have a sort of 'trans or not?' game, in a casual manner, to determine their unbiased thoughts and opinions.
I gathered images of actual transwomen and biological women and pretended like a website had it and tested them like a gag.
Play along with your friends!
The second you are offended, it tells someone the game was rigged or they were tricked... people hate being lied to.
Even if it offends you deeply, remember, your life is in danger so pretend like you agree with them!
Pride can also work against you, because the pride of others may be different than yours.
If you find some problematic beliefs or opinions in some people, it's better to find other friends who won't hurt, abuse or harm you.
Friends come and go, finding ones who like you for your new trans self will easily be helpful to you
DO NOT PROTEST!
Protesting annoys people and most people don't bother to read the fine print or real reason for decisions these days.
In my findings, especially in news these days, bloggers are either paid to lie or purposely mis-word or mis-interpret ideas, concepts and news to the public to convey a personal agenda.
DO NOT BELIEVE THE INTERNET!
Most people rant or protest online after spending a few seconds reading a head-line and don't bother to get into the boring 'meat' of the meaning.
Those who follow fake troll news or believe everything they read online are actually trolled.
The reason people protest trans rights or discrimination is because they are either so ugly or annoying in real life to be around they have to bully the public to get unwanted attention.
I've seen actual protesters at my job and in my experience, they were horrible people no-one in the right mind would want to be around!
Women have a better grasp of language, grammar, words, meanings, manners, sentences and carefully chosen words unlike men.
Take some time to actually research words and get yourself a dictionary, it's stereotypical that women are more interested in studies and that is another feminine attitude to have.
Unlike men though, women also talk slower, take their time and enunciate clearer than men do... so how you talk and your speech is like is also a huge indicator in your progression.
Language is almost ignored in the Transgender community, those who actually bother with it come out smarter and better than the rest.
I identify as such myself, but some of the things you've said have given me much pause for thought. Some things I feel I've picked up really well on like my speech and use of language. However I realize there are things I'm not doing so well, such as despite singing being a very favoured hobby of mine I've not at all tried to train my voice to sound more feminine.
Truth is, looking the way I do (very male appearence, overweight, not particularly well presented most of the time), despite what I feel I don't feel like I can justify taking those next steps because I've not even begun to start looking the part (I haven't started on hormone treatment yet). I've been doing what I can, essentially, with what I've got right now.
Having read all of what you said I feel more confident keeping my identity a secret from most people. Very few know, and I can trust them all. I don't want to draw attention to myself, I'm afraid of what'll happen if I do, I'd rather survive my journey, not get attacked or killed halfway.
I guess what I'm saying is, this is kindof what I needed to hear I think. I'm not doing the best job I can, it's difficult, but I know what I feel and for once someone is speaking sensibly about this in a way that isn't political or otherwise not useful. I particularly like what you said about avoiding LGBT communities, it's something I've been thinking and feeling for ages but nobody really seemed to be as wary as I am of being put into a community that thinks I'm one thing when I'm really the other.
My only question is what kind of advice would you give to someone who feels like they can't move forward until they can justify their femininty to themselves? I see myself in the mirror and I tell myself it's okay, because I'll change, but I feel like I can't until I can start looking the way I want to, the way I feel inside. That isn't happening yet and while I'll push forward until it does, I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall again.
The first step to your journey, like mine, is to basically either give up your old habits and form a new life or invent a new you, which is what I did.
I created my own image, style, wardrobe and more with nearly a year of research and trial-and-error.
If you are not an artist, you better start learning how to be one before you start, trust me on this.
As an artist myself, the most helpful advice I can give you is to understand color theory, light and shadow and stage lighting.
I've seen plenty of non-artistic Transwomen and they don't seem to care about how they are perceived but that you instead accept them, don't be like that.
Women actually are often more artistic than men, they know how to style their hair to perfection, color their nails, apply makeup to near precision, what colors work right, how to dress in what colors and styles, inform others of styles that work for others, etc.
Get off the computer / laptop.
Get sleep.
Start losing weight or get in shape, hormones aren't exactly 'safe' and could kill you.
Seek a gym, find a routine to start losing weight or whatever you can do to shed those pounds.
I'm serious, the hormones are dangerous alone as it is and is why you need a counselor.
If you smoke, you won't get hormones as it increases too many risks and most psychologists and physicians do not prescribe them to people who smoke.
If you smoke, quit now, otherwise continue.
Train your female voice 15 minutes every-day, I even started off with that; the 15 minute limit is to prevent fatigue and permanent damage to your vocal chords.
If you have a smart phone, use a voice recording app and if you use a computer / laptop, use Audacity as it is free.
I began using Audacity until I went mobile for privacy and security.
Seriously, 15 minutes of a female voice a day or you could face irreversible permanent damage.
When voice training, drink water almost every time after you say something, you lose water when talking and prevents you from achieving your goal.
Research videos on YouTube of Transwomen, learn how to do your own hair, and so on.
Begin laser hair removal treatments as soon as possible.
Consider a job friendly to Transgenders.
Recommended start of journey:
Develop your life-long female persona so well you can list her favorite colors, likes, dislikes, etc. and know her so well you could describe her easily in a short sentence.
The goal of this is to get rid of male traits that still linger about.
Come up with a name that has actual meaning.
Research websites like Susan's or Janet's Closet or something, find reputable, reliable sources meant to educate and inform, not brain wash.
Your journey is unique, take your time and figure it out... it's not like a counselor can't see right through you.
Lastly, one thing that is almost never mentioned is the fact that Hormones have a way of taking away your Gender Dysphoria.
Hormones essentially attempt to convert your 'male' cells to 'female' cells and your body becomes confused and you get moody, a LOT.
I can say from experience it feels weird but you get used to it eventually.
But seriously, if you really intend to be a women, then take the steps necessary to do so and get on it soon because you cannot gain that youth back and your body is a ticking male bomb that hormones cannot convert or replace.
The stuff like understanding colour co-ordination, colour theory, and applying that to myself and my wardrobe is something I've been doing since long before I realized I'm a woman. I suppose it helps that most of my life was spent learning from my sister and mother about such things. Naturally an understanding of lighting and shadows came about as well though it helps I have a few friends who are artists.
It goes well beyond that though of course, I'm going to the gym once a week and I plan to escalate that to twice weekly soon. I don't smoke, I don't drink much - I've never been or wanted to be enibriated.
Got counselling covered too, been receiving help for the last two and a half years. Been doing my nails for months too :3
Well, rather than list out all of the things I am doing, I'm glad to know that I have many of your points covered already. I've even chosen a name that I've been using online and I think can describe my female self reasonably well.
The shift in moods is something I've been steeling myself for, I often feel I'd like to express my emotions more openly, but I realize that also works both ways and isn't always a good thing.
Your advice is very thorough and I can't really explain how much I appreciate the information you've given me, I will use this going forward, this coming week I make the decision on wheher or not to start the process leading to hormone treatment.
I know what my answer is already, I'm at that crossroads and I'm going to need all the (useful) help I can get.
Seriously I can't thank you enough for clearing the air on basically everything I need to know at the moment going forward.
Before you take hormones, though, start taking pictures like a time-line to see results... you might be amazed.
I use YawCam to automatically take shots of me for timeline purposes and for higher resolution periodic photos, I use my SmartPhone to take HD pictures.
Take photos of everything including breasts and your body.
My breasts are rapidly growing faster than I expected and they have gone past the 'male boob' stereotype and actually look like real breasts.
They are very sensitive and my nipples are even beginning to protrude and build up.
Every day I wake up and look in the mirror, my face seems to be feminizing slowly but surely and I have noticed minor details that change.
Essentially, over a period of time, the hormones will feminize your entire face and body except bone and puberty induced stuff already.
Look at some 'transwoman transition timeline' or something similar and you'll see what I mean.
I actually got most of my information by doing a lot of fact searching about hormones and their effects.
Knowing scientific facts about hormones not only helps you but your Physician.
Lastly, don't forget your Physician and or Counselor might ask you questions about your preferred gender to understand where to send you.
This is largely critical in your quest of taking hormones.
Some people identify as slightly feminine, very feminine or entirely feminine.
Having a good knowledge of what you want to look like is a very important thing to consider.
I went all in because I have no desire to look masculine and I want to be the most natural feminine woman I can be.
Finally, I encourage you to share your findings, evolution and more by sending photos to others to understand where you are going and to get advice.
If you need further help, email me at janetmerai at Google Mail
I had considered doing a photo timeline or something like that, I'm a little hesitant but then there's no reason I can't or shouldn't. It'd give me some perspective on my journey.
Herre in Australia I have two options for accessing hormone treatment: private or public. Public is slower, more beurocratic, tighter screening process, but it's also mostly free, if only that it also requires me to make a 120 mile trip there and back to each appointment I have. Or the private way, much more expensive, less screening, quicker, and I can do it locally.
I'm as yet undecided which way I should go.
As for the questions, I have gotten the kinds of questions I think you're referring to already, but I'm ready to face more. I've spent months and months pondering my preferences and how far I want to go with my transition. I think those will be easy to answer.
Truth be told I'll go all the way. Surgery is also a consideration, and I know I want SRS too. Maybe that'll change but as it stands I reckon I'm pretty solid on where I stand.
It helps that a recent sexual encounter served to reinforce my feminine desires quite a bit. I won't go into detail but it was a confirmation of what I feel about sex and my relationship with it..
Seriously?
3+ years and she cannot bother to improve that voice?
Additionally, her most recent videos are indeed more feminine but she still reads like a man to me.
Pay attention to transmen, they behave like women because that's where they came from.
I call this the 'transgender' effect.
My biggest problem with Isabella is with the unnecessary excess makeup, you'd think she's trying to dress like a clown.
Not a single person I know, other than Mexican women, wear excess makeup and it still looks horrible of Mexican women.
There's this thing called body language, behavior and personality, and it just seems like she focuses her attention on visually telling you she's a woman but still talks and behaves like a man.
Pay attention to women in real life, they don't behave like that and it's highly exaggerated and hyper-real.
I'm worried she puts her attention on visuals, not behavior nor voice.
If me and her met candidly, I bet you she'd sound like a man and look completely different.
This isn't an attack on Isabella but something I find annoying most transwomen do for fans instead of themselves.
Here's a good example of someone bothering to act like a woman:
https://youtu.be/_gx-3dXK34w?list=P.....YGreCuq6QMvel4
Notice how she's very natural, feminine and that voice is amazing.
I think she may be using some makeup, but hardly any and all the while, she keeps her voice.
She hasn't been on Hormones as long as Isabella but she already looks like a real woman compared to Isabella.
Pay attention to someone like her, Isabella is basically just acting for attention.
Besides, you can't see the real effects behind makeup and everyone is unique.
Better to be real than fake.
But, being more aware of that is helpful also. Gives me pointers on what to avoid. Though in fairness, she is an actor in a band, so you're probably right on the nail about her behaviour and mannerisms.
Part of me feels like I have an advantage being that I've lived with women all my life, except for a couple years I lived with my dad, but I don't know how much behaviour I actually picked up on.
I still do some things like... sitting with spread legs instead of closed, if that's a worthwhile thing. Working on it though, just as an example of things I'm noticing that I'm improving on.
But what other things do you notice women do differently? I figure it's things like gait, stance when walking and standing still, sitting, hand motions and gestures? Feels like a bit of a minefield when people are all like "that's so stereotypical though!"
Like somehow it matters that I want to look and act like a "girly" kind of woman, because apparently that's feeding gender stereotypes or something.
Luckily for me, I lived as a woman while I was presenting as male in my mind and had alternative thoughts and mannerisms locked up in my mind that no-one heard.
This stuff comes to you naturally and you begin picking it up the more you do it.
Isabella does this, exaggerate her motions and body language to somehow urge people to think she's a woman.
Look at real women and study, that's what I do.
Transwomen are nice for advice but it sort of falls flat from there.
I think I'm still figuring a lot out, and of course we never really stop learning, adapting, and changing. I was already trying to observe and adapt my mannerisms and behaviour to be more feminine but now thanks to your advice, I think I am ready to step it up and get more serious with it.
The next step I guess is for me to start that next step, two years on hormone treatment. It's daunting, but I don't see what other option there is at this point.
This, ultimately is what I needed, and I can't thank you enough for affirming the things I'm doing right, explaining the things I need to improve on, and everything else in between.
t's such a maze and a minefield trying to wade through the bullshit, sift through the information, and come up with something useful. Your advice has probably saved me weeks, months, years of difficulty.
I mean I'm one of those people that really dislikes a lot of people's activism around trans people, I don't want people speaking for me in terms that they don't understand. I'm not some special fuckin' snowflake that needs special treatment.
I'm just a woman who was born a dude. It took me 26 years to figure that out but I got there in the end. Now it's the next part of my life journey, learning about the woman inside and bringing her out into the world.
Doing this allows for people to get a different perspective, offer advice and give tips on improvement or suggestions on better ways to do something.
This is identical to art critique only with your body, and is something most trans people do to avoid problems in public.
It's really up to your discretion, but I advise it.