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Vent
8 years ago
I don't usually make journals about venting and such. But this is one of the few times I will.
And that simply being that people, are assholes. And worst of all, sometimes it's the one's close to you that show you that. By giving you a prime example to either avoid or seethe anger or rage at them until you get a real chance to rain upon that someone's day.
Show them, that one time messed you up more than you let on and it doesn't seem like you two can see eye to eye anymore.
It didn't start as one of those days, just something normal and whatnot. Added with a huge slice of depression, a dousing of anxiety and a broken string of what used to be 'normal'.
What seems trivial to others, is one of the things that is a major thought to you. You know it'll be one of those things you NEED a answer for until you get it. Then you can move on.
Anywho, I logged onto one of my usual games, to see I was kicked from a FREE to join group. But alas, it still annoyed the crap out of me, because I got the message saying I was kicked, but without a reason, NONE. Bear in mind, I wasn't even online at the time, and I just joined a few days prior thanks to a friend. But basically, he sympathizes with me for a minute, then tells me to 'get over it' (not exact words, but how it was worded).
On top of all that. It seems I have no one to either vent these things to, not even family. Or If I try to, make someone's day worse/ GET them angry at me for some strange oddity that is the brain.
All in all. I feel like there's no point in chatting with anyone anymore, if I just turn out to be a emotional punching bag, or someone to tell to 'get real'/'over it'
People often think I'll be one sided and just see what's in front of me. Wrong. I see the actions and the problems they can lead to. Loss of friendship or otherwise A fight. So I keep my mouth shut. Fact of the mater is, I've already thought about what might happen.
I don't think I can make many friends with these kinds of thoughts I always have. Yet I try anyways... I'm done trying. I'm done doing. I'll just be alone like I always have.
And please. No "i'm sorry to hear that/ sorry If I upset you" Comments. It just makes things even more irritating when having to explain myself as to WHY I have depressing thoughts. OCD or whatnot. And OCD I do have, yet people make fun of it. I don't make sure everything has it's place. But my thoughts aren't as normal as everyone thinks they are.
And that simply being that people, are assholes. And worst of all, sometimes it's the one's close to you that show you that. By giving you a prime example to either avoid or seethe anger or rage at them until you get a real chance to rain upon that someone's day.
Show them, that one time messed you up more than you let on and it doesn't seem like you two can see eye to eye anymore.
It didn't start as one of those days, just something normal and whatnot. Added with a huge slice of depression, a dousing of anxiety and a broken string of what used to be 'normal'.
What seems trivial to others, is one of the things that is a major thought to you. You know it'll be one of those things you NEED a answer for until you get it. Then you can move on.
Anywho, I logged onto one of my usual games, to see I was kicked from a FREE to join group. But alas, it still annoyed the crap out of me, because I got the message saying I was kicked, but without a reason, NONE. Bear in mind, I wasn't even online at the time, and I just joined a few days prior thanks to a friend. But basically, he sympathizes with me for a minute, then tells me to 'get over it' (not exact words, but how it was worded).
On top of all that. It seems I have no one to either vent these things to, not even family. Or If I try to, make someone's day worse/ GET them angry at me for some strange oddity that is the brain.
All in all. I feel like there's no point in chatting with anyone anymore, if I just turn out to be a emotional punching bag, or someone to tell to 'get real'/'over it'
People often think I'll be one sided and just see what's in front of me. Wrong. I see the actions and the problems they can lead to. Loss of friendship or otherwise A fight. So I keep my mouth shut. Fact of the mater is, I've already thought about what might happen.
I don't think I can make many friends with these kinds of thoughts I always have. Yet I try anyways... I'm done trying. I'm done doing. I'll just be alone like I always have.
And please. No "i'm sorry to hear that/ sorry If I upset you" Comments. It just makes things even more irritating when having to explain myself as to WHY I have depressing thoughts. OCD or whatnot. And OCD I do have, yet people make fun of it. I don't make sure everything has it's place. But my thoughts aren't as normal as everyone thinks they are.
