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Situation Update
9 years ago
General
My situation is not worse than when I last updated, but it's not better. Still stuck in homeless limbo. A friend is letting us stay with them, though, so that's nice, and it keeps us from having to live in our car/hemorrhage money on staying in hotels. We did lose some $300 of our moving fund money to having to stay in hotels and board our cats, though...
My fiancee might be losing her job because the business she works for is struggling financially. They're putting it off as long as possible, and they might decide she's too essential to let go, but.... we really don't know. Her second job doesn't operate during August, either, so if she loses her primary job AND we're still stuck in our current state by next month... well I guess we won't have any income. Her boss told her that she should look into new work just in case, but since we're desperately trying to move out of this state, we can't exactly just.... find jobs. Any day we could get the signal that we can finally leave, so...
Though, I'll be honest, I'm starting to feel like the signal will never come. I worry our friend we're relying on to find us a place to live will just abandon us and move on. I'm worried we'll be stranded here. We weren't able to support ourselves here before everything that happened, I doubt that will magically change if we're forced to stay.
A lot is weighing down on me pretty heavily. Some days it's all I can do to just get up and play games to keep my mind occupied and not let all my worries and anxieties set in. The only thing I want is escapism. When I'm left with just myself for too long, I start to think of how... futile everything feels. I feel doomed to failure, until I finally die. Playing games keeps that at bay, let's me go live a different life. It's what's keeping me going right now.
Art is.... mentally painful. It feels like my whole body is trying to resist it when I sit down to draw. I manage tiny bits and pieces at a time, but it's so hard. I don't even know why I feel this way. I know I have these commissions to do, these trades, these collabs, and I have personal work I want to finish. I feel guiltier whenever I think of them, but when I sit down to work I just.... crash out. I don't know how to get around it. I really am sorry for the wait. I'm trying to push through it, but until I can break this struggle-- I guess until I get some good news for once-- it's going to be very slow going...
I'm really sorry...
My fiancee might be losing her job because the business she works for is struggling financially. They're putting it off as long as possible, and they might decide she's too essential to let go, but.... we really don't know. Her second job doesn't operate during August, either, so if she loses her primary job AND we're still stuck in our current state by next month... well I guess we won't have any income. Her boss told her that she should look into new work just in case, but since we're desperately trying to move out of this state, we can't exactly just.... find jobs. Any day we could get the signal that we can finally leave, so...
Though, I'll be honest, I'm starting to feel like the signal will never come. I worry our friend we're relying on to find us a place to live will just abandon us and move on. I'm worried we'll be stranded here. We weren't able to support ourselves here before everything that happened, I doubt that will magically change if we're forced to stay.
A lot is weighing down on me pretty heavily. Some days it's all I can do to just get up and play games to keep my mind occupied and not let all my worries and anxieties set in. The only thing I want is escapism. When I'm left with just myself for too long, I start to think of how... futile everything feels. I feel doomed to failure, until I finally die. Playing games keeps that at bay, let's me go live a different life. It's what's keeping me going right now.
Art is.... mentally painful. It feels like my whole body is trying to resist it when I sit down to draw. I manage tiny bits and pieces at a time, but it's so hard. I don't even know why I feel this way. I know I have these commissions to do, these trades, these collabs, and I have personal work I want to finish. I feel guiltier whenever I think of them, but when I sit down to work I just.... crash out. I don't know how to get around it. I really am sorry for the wait. I'm trying to push through it, but until I can break this struggle-- I guess until I get some good news for once-- it's going to be very slow going...
I'm really sorry...
Also I do have a Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/junkpiles