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Depression and growing plant metaphor
8 years ago
So I laid in bed this morning trying to further decode and analyze myself as I was feeling abnormal higher amount of emotional pleasantness and strength for a time and I got to thinking.
My moods are a lot like a growing plant....as much as I wish I could I cannot water myself or nurture my own growth despite how much I try and really seek outside aid to help strengthen myself. I however I am no weed my roots are strong and I actively try to seek the “nutrients” I need to keep myself alive so not to shrivel up completely but I try not to be to greedy and take only the bare minimum so not to stunt or hinder the growth of other peoples flowers.
But as much as Im not a weed and can keep my roots strong and stable my stem is weak. Even on lucky days where it “rains” and I find myself rallying and starting to bloom I find it hard to grow and keep standing on my own...I reach out to those around me to help hold myself up but find often very little support.
“hey....look i'm blooming and actually trying to be outgoing and perky”
“thats nice” says the flower that grows in nearby “I not interested in you today” as it looks and reaches its petals and roots to another
“hey look...Im starting to stand on my own”
“thats fine...but you should be doing this” says the other flower nearby before its roots strangle and wrestle precious nourishment away to fuel an its fiery aggressive blossom as if screaming “I deserve MORE!”
“hey look im strong today
I try so hard on these days to fight to stand on my own stalk...but I am weak...and its not long before nutrients are gone...or a cutting quip slices and weakens me or a dark cloud chokes the sunlight from above me. So I return to being face down in the mud withdraw my leaves my petals around me to savor what remains and ration what my roots can manage.
I won't die....but at times I don't think i'll truly blossom either.
This all being said...I do cherish and enjoy the kernels and drops of “nourishment” that at times are dropped on my roots and life is not completely void of those but still it feels like the mud is where I deserve to lay most of the time.
this is not meant to upset anyone nor is it directed at anyone but I needed to vent and I needed to be heard....cause in silence one suffers alone but in vocalization even the whips and stones of criticism and opinions bare a kernel of care.
My moods are a lot like a growing plant....as much as I wish I could I cannot water myself or nurture my own growth despite how much I try and really seek outside aid to help strengthen myself. I however I am no weed my roots are strong and I actively try to seek the “nutrients” I need to keep myself alive so not to shrivel up completely but I try not to be to greedy and take only the bare minimum so not to stunt or hinder the growth of other peoples flowers.
But as much as Im not a weed and can keep my roots strong and stable my stem is weak. Even on lucky days where it “rains” and I find myself rallying and starting to bloom I find it hard to grow and keep standing on my own...I reach out to those around me to help hold myself up but find often very little support.
“hey....look i'm blooming and actually trying to be outgoing and perky”
“thats nice” says the flower that grows in nearby “I not interested in you today” as it looks and reaches its petals and roots to another
“hey look...Im starting to stand on my own”
“thats fine...but you should be doing this” says the other flower nearby before its roots strangle and wrestle precious nourishment away to fuel an its fiery aggressive blossom as if screaming “I deserve MORE!”
“hey look im strong today
I try so hard on these days to fight to stand on my own stalk...but I am weak...and its not long before nutrients are gone...or a cutting quip slices and weakens me or a dark cloud chokes the sunlight from above me. So I return to being face down in the mud withdraw my leaves my petals around me to savor what remains and ration what my roots can manage.
I won't die....but at times I don't think i'll truly blossom either.
This all being said...I do cherish and enjoy the kernels and drops of “nourishment” that at times are dropped on my roots and life is not completely void of those but still it feels like the mud is where I deserve to lay most of the time.
this is not meant to upset anyone nor is it directed at anyone but I needed to vent and I needed to be heard....cause in silence one suffers alone but in vocalization even the whips and stones of criticism and opinions bare a kernel of care.
