Feel like I should post some bit of wrap up for con stuff this year, considering how much happened in such a short span.

 L0st and I have wanted to try going to BLFC for a while, and every year it's seemed like some horrible thing has nipped those plans in the bud. This year we just said fuck it and decided to go. We got a nice tax return and spent it.

We also basically hid it from all our friends. And spent about three months hamming up how we wouldn't be there, and wouldn't see people, and how sad they'd be, and how sad we were.

Then we waltzed in during dinner on the first night and surprised the shit out of people :D

It was great fun, and absolutely wonderful to see some of our friends that we hadn't seen in far too long again. The con itself was very interesting. The dances were awesome, as was the go karting. The con space was neat, though the wifi and cell service was abysmal, and that made keeping in touch a real chore. We roomed with some people we hadn't before, and that turned out really well, actually. :3

I also finished a bodysuit for my fursuit! It came out not too bad. Definitely a my first bodysuit, but it's really inspired me to keep doing stuff on that front, and I'm really happy about it all. It's definitely got me wanting to make a version 2.0 that's better. and I love the pics I've taken with it. Really makes it easier to get in character :D

The booze and gambling fell a bit flat with me, but I kind of expected that, and I honestly think I handled it better than I thought I would, though I did have a small emotional moment. But it passed, and I enjoyed my time. The con just felt very different. I think part of it was the jetlag, but a lot was having the big fursuiting thing on Friday. It kinda made Saturday and Sunday feel very chill in an interesting way. I'd definitely go again, and I can see why people love it so much, but I'm not sure I'd go every year.  L0st basically broke even gambling, so that was good :3

So 3 weeks later came AC. And family heartbreak. The Sunday before AC my parents took my grandfather to the hospital. He'd been feeling very weak, and we were very concerned. I came down sick with a cold that Monday, and his docs recommended against me visiting. So we readied for AC and entertained friends while I worried. My grandfather and parents assured me things would be ok, and despite my misgivings we set off for AC that Thursday.

AC as usual was a huge amount of fun. Again we spent more time with friends, and it was heartwarming and wonderful to be in the only con where the whole city seems to welcome us. AC will still never be beat for feeling like a furry home away from home. (The roads getting there are still terrifying, though. WHO PUTS A STOP SIGN AT THE BOTTOM OF AN ON RAMP ONTO A FREEWAY?)

Intermixed with all the joy was more sorrow, though. My parents told me Friday that a colonoscopy had found a tumor in my grandfather, and that they'd be performing surgery Saturday morning. His Cardiac specialist said it wasn't high risk, and I was still getting over my cold, so I stayed in Pittsburgh and cheerfully wished him luck and sent my love, and my grandfather and parents told me not to worry and to try and have fun.

It's a decision that I'm not really sure I'll ever be able to look back on without tremendous regret.

Saturday morning, his surgery went amazingly well. They'd predicted 6 hours, and it finished in 2. The weather, after a brief shower, parted to a beautiful day, and I happily went to the fursuit parade in my new fullsuit, and enjoyed the day with a spring in my step. I got to hang out with some friends at an actual speak easy, which was a surprisingly lovely experience, and I attempted to dance the night away in full suit, which I found out is (strangely enough) insanely hot and oh my god that was a bad idea.

And then Sunday morning rolled around, and my mom told me my grandfather had crashed late that night, and the doctors couldn't stabilize him. He had died, surrounded by family.

He's gone. And I didn't get to see him one last time.

I'll be honest, Sunday and Monday were a blur of goodbyes, heartache, and returning home. The week that followed was another blur of funeral preparation and remembrance with family. and now for one short week things are back to normal, before we go winging off to visit friends in Canada.

I am... Ok. This year, and this summer, have been a whirlwind of highs and lows. I'm still tearing up to write this, and over countless little things that remind me of the pain. What I am glad for is that my grandfather didn't suffer. He was able to do what he loved till the moment he died. And as painful as it was to lose someone in that situation, it did help to be surrounded by friends in that moment.

I'll see how the rest of the year goes, I guess, but so far, it's been... a mix.