I had to put this somewhere. I think this is just becoming my virtual diary or something because I know no one reads these. (mine, not other furs')

So I have been procrastinating on putting my reel together and sending it to career services so they can go send applications out to employers for me. I graduated at the end of May, and I haven't got anywhere on it. My dad is starting to get on my case about it too.

I guess I'm just afraid of getting a job and not having time to play video games or go airsofting or draw/write furry stuff. I feel like I'm not mentally the same age as my body. I'm 22 but I feel like I'm mentally 12 or so. I would give almost anything to just lay in bed and dream.

I think I have Van Wilder disease: I'm living too much in the now and I'm worried about the future. It's this fear and guilt that keeps me awake the past few nights. I haven't had an inspiring dream since I left school. My dreams are now harder to remember and less and less fluid. They just don't flow together like they used to . I'm sure it's due to my troubled mind.

I just want to be a kid... forever. I will never let my mind completely grow up. I have to keep that part of me alive.I just hope that getting a job and moving out won't change my lifestyle drastically like I'm afraid it will. Maybe getting my reel put together and heading to Midwest Furfest will calm me down a bit...

Here's hoping for the best for the future...