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The thing about Waifus and Husbandos
8 years ago
General
I know everyone kinda does it. You find a character in some show, comic, anime, or something like that, that you like, and you latch onto them. You grow affectionate towards them, like pretty much anything they're involved in (so long as it fits your own personal world view), defend them from criticism, etc. I've known people who have dedicated themselves entirely to a character, to the point where they've started transferring their personal behavioral wants and needs onto a character, to make them even MORE appealing to them, while becoming hostile to anyone who points out those traits aren't actually there.
I don't disparage that someone can be effectively in love with a character. But it really bothers me when someone's hubris gets so in the way that they believe that they are the character's match, that were they to be in the same world as a character, or that character in the real world with them, that they would be 'together'.
I wonder if any have actually asked themselves "I know I love this character, this person...but would they actually love me BACK?" And be truthful with themselves. Even if the truth hurts. It's one thing to love a character from afar, but entirely another to assume that, were they a real person, that the character would even feel an iota of affection in return.
What if you DID get the chance to visit your favorite waifu/husbando in their world? Or them to you? Would you be prepared for them to turn away, to turn down your love, because the story they're from, the show, the game, specifically says they love another, who is NOT you? Would you be prepared for them to reject you out of hand because you literally are nothing like what they want in a companion? That for all your swearing of love, it'd never actually be because they have no interest at all in you, or worse yet, are actually repelled?
I wonder...
I only ask this because I hear people talking about them all the time, but I know that, while I have characters and such I'm fond of, I would never put myself in that mental position. I could see myself, in those story worlds, where those characters exist, and realize I would be just a background character of no importance to them. To give into such hubris as to think attraction or affection would be returned is...well, it'd be downright painful, wouldn't you agree?
When I write stories, none of the characters really represent me at all. They're just characters. I don't like doing personal self-insert stories, because when I portray myself...I realize how I would not be liked by the other characters: characters usually of my own creation, no less! So I can never picture a story or show or whatever that has ME in it, not just a character, but the ME everyone thinks they are, where things go exactly the way I want them.
You won't be the hero of the story, supplanting the canon one. You won't be the one to win the main guy/girl's heart, because it's already written they are for someone else. You won't draw away that shy character from their interest in a central story character, and you certainly won't be the one to defeat the big bad boss and have everyone praise you.
Maybe this is just my way of saying I really don't like how everyone turns themselves into Mary Sue/Gary Stus in self-inserts, or in regards to a waifu/husbando situation.
And now I'm just rambling.
I don't disparage that someone can be effectively in love with a character. But it really bothers me when someone's hubris gets so in the way that they believe that they are the character's match, that were they to be in the same world as a character, or that character in the real world with them, that they would be 'together'.
I wonder if any have actually asked themselves "I know I love this character, this person...but would they actually love me BACK?" And be truthful with themselves. Even if the truth hurts. It's one thing to love a character from afar, but entirely another to assume that, were they a real person, that the character would even feel an iota of affection in return.
What if you DID get the chance to visit your favorite waifu/husbando in their world? Or them to you? Would you be prepared for them to turn away, to turn down your love, because the story they're from, the show, the game, specifically says they love another, who is NOT you? Would you be prepared for them to reject you out of hand because you literally are nothing like what they want in a companion? That for all your swearing of love, it'd never actually be because they have no interest at all in you, or worse yet, are actually repelled?
I wonder...
I only ask this because I hear people talking about them all the time, but I know that, while I have characters and such I'm fond of, I would never put myself in that mental position. I could see myself, in those story worlds, where those characters exist, and realize I would be just a background character of no importance to them. To give into such hubris as to think attraction or affection would be returned is...well, it'd be downright painful, wouldn't you agree?
When I write stories, none of the characters really represent me at all. They're just characters. I don't like doing personal self-insert stories, because when I portray myself...I realize how I would not be liked by the other characters: characters usually of my own creation, no less! So I can never picture a story or show or whatever that has ME in it, not just a character, but the ME everyone thinks they are, where things go exactly the way I want them.
You won't be the hero of the story, supplanting the canon one. You won't be the one to win the main guy/girl's heart, because it's already written they are for someone else. You won't draw away that shy character from their interest in a central story character, and you certainly won't be the one to defeat the big bad boss and have everyone praise you.
Maybe this is just my way of saying I really don't like how everyone turns themselves into Mary Sue/Gary Stus in self-inserts, or in regards to a waifu/husbando situation.
And now I'm just rambling.
Read stories by published authors, especially adventures. Look at what they do to their characters. Would you want to be put through that? I hope not! Authors are deliberately cruel to their characters; let them nearly succeed, then dump one last challenge on them! That's how you make plots that hold a reader's interest! Could you do that to Lt Mary Sue... to yourself? That wouldn't be much fun!
I say write yourself into a series if you want to, it might be good for you. Now and then take your Mary Sues out and read them if you like. But please don't show them to anybody else! Ever! Keep those stories in a folder in a locked drawer with instructions to burn it ASAP after your death. If you want to write stories for other people to read, first create a "universe" of your own, then create characters who belong there, who can cope with what you're going to do to them. Then go ahead and torment them!
Besides, if I self-insert into a story, I'm not going to have the best time. Shit must go wrong. There must be miscommunications and conflict. There might not even be a happy ending, if there is an ending at all.
I once knew a writer who deliberately created casts of characters only to kill them off in as vicious ways as possible, because I think they were venting their depression and self-hate. Half the characters were based directly off them, so those ones died immediately. Most in ways that were neccessary for plot advancement, but still felt like meaningless deaths.
Wish fulfillment I have nothing against. Writing a hopeful story I got nothing against. But I've seen a lot of people take several steps BEYOND that. It becomes life to them. They don't make the separation. They ALWAYS get hurt when someone else writes the character they like in a different way.
*chuckles* Let's put it this way; once upon a time I forwarded a theory about a character in Guild Wars 2 that everyone hated because they were the 'worst character ever'. I'd studied the lore, played the stuff, and put some thought into it, and realized, everyone had the story backwards...but I got no proof because ANet left it unsaid. The moment I voiced my theory (which was just for entertainment and thought provocation), I got SLAMMED. People couldn't open their minds to any alternative. It was funny, and yet sad.
I agree; make your own universe, your own characters, THEN you can mary sue all you want. Because it'll make sense in-world.
In cases where canon relationships exist, they need to be respected.
It's why generally I don't do fanfic or really encourage it because most people can't be objective. If you add yourself as a character you need to keep everything as it is in canon. You can change things from that point on but I think most people lack the objectivity to resist the temptation to bend things favorably towards themselves.
One of the reasons I kinda ranted in the OP was because I'd just watched two separate shows/movies that both had dedicated fanbases, with varying levels of self-insert-ism, and various levels of mary-sue-ism.
The first was the entirety of the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (And Disappearance of). The second was at work, where the Harry Potter movies were playing on TV.
Both shows tweaked me when I thought about them. On the one hand, you have Haruhi, with a fanbase so devoted they spend hours learning the end-song dance routine, and damned near worship the characters. On the other hand you have Harry Potter, with a fanbase of dedicated 'wizards in training' who all wanted to be best friends with at least someone on the cast, as well as the fanfictions they wrote about it...and that's not even mentioning the fact that HP itself is the biggest Mary Sue story I've ever seen. (not blaming it, mind you; it's meant for tweens and so is simple to understand, but it still smokes of Mary sue 'destined child' for every book and movie).
Seeing those, and watching vids on Youtube from the fanbases of both, and thinking about the fanbases in general, and how deeply some of them took their affections made me REALLY think about them...resulting in the OP. Because at least some of those people consider the fictional characters to be SO REAL that they forgo everything else for them, and react badly when it's pointed out something doesn't match or fit, or that it's fiction. Ya know?
I know my main issue with HP is the lack of rules to the magic system and the chosen one mythos, but it doesn't surprise me. People get obsessed over things they can't have. Plus they believe what they want to believe. Regardless of evidence to the contrary.
I suppose the issue with the 'why don't you write your own story' thing is that, to do so, you must build a world from the ground up. Depending on what kind of story you're doing, and what world you're doing, it could be as simple as 'it's just in the modern day, like, down the block from me' simple, to something insanely complex with an entire evolutionary chain that needs to be recognized.
I'm personally still toying with this 'epic' story idea (epic in the sense of 'long winding story', not just 'great'), but I keep getting stuck on details like:
1: Does this world have religions or religion? How devoted are people? Is it the same everywhere or are there multiple religions in opposition?
2: Does magic powers or special abilities, or whatever you wanna call them, exist in this world, and how does that affect how the cultures develop? Because being able to call down a storm whenever you need it is gonna drastically affect farming, shipping, etc. That kinda thing.
3: Do gods exist in this world? Are they just mythic figures or do they actually interfere/take part in the lives of their subjects? How does that change the world structure?
4: How does technology, if that's a thing, feature into this world, in addition to all of the above? How does something like Magic or Ki-style special powers integrate with a technological culture or cultures, if at all?
Stuff like that. Using a pre-established universe is easier because with enough reading or studying, you'll know the rules as set by the OP/writer. But crafting a world... So much to set up.
Building your own worlds, that's what I do, and I know it takes a lot of time... I know firsthand for sure.
It's fun things to think about, if you're good at it. Some of us are better than others, and for me, I need the right stars to align so I work out my stories well in advance.