since my pathetic machine refuses to play videos... what's it about?

oh it's from the show 'So You Think You Can Dance' and they are doing a dance about cancer. and all the judges are crying, and i guess it hit me harder then it should lol. i've lost a lot of ppl from cancer

must have been something very emotional...

sorry to hear that. last year, shortly before xmas they diagnosed my dad for lethal cancer, but they had to run a final test. he talked to me and my brother about what to do with the remnants of his life, and it hurt. around new year they called back and it's not cancer anymore, just something creating the same symptoms...
but until then, my dad has given up. which hurts even more... since the divorce there isn't much contact, and all his friends are dead, his mom (my grandma) too, and the rest of his relatives live a good travel away.

for me it's, my grandma had lung cancer, she's gone now, my other grandmother has lung cancer, my grandpa has bladder cancer, he's still here, my friend from school had blood cancer, he's gone, my uncle had cancer through his whole body, he's gone, a friend of the family, he's gone. it just all happened in the same 3 years. it makes it hard, but the one that hits the hardest is my grandma. i think it's because i remember her as a sassy, funny Brooklyn lady, who came back from ocean city with corn rows. and then they said she had cancer and, within 16 months she turned into a 90 year old bed ridden woman praying for Jesus to take her away. It was aweful.

I think I know what you mean. I remembered my grandma as a strong, healthy woman, always smiling over her grandchildren's antics, nursing her husband through his late years who ruined his health literally working his as soff in the years after WW2, and from one point she started to wither away. each year she grew weaker until she was like a dried twig, a shadow of herself... must have been five or six years.
I'm not really afraid of death, but after seeing this, I'm afraid of dying...

*offers hugs*

well i'm afraid of dying too *hugs*