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hi guys......
8 years ago
i've been feeling really down and depressed the last few days... worse than i've been in a while...
Now before you say that i'm always feeling depressed/lonely/miserable about something/someone... I know this.. and yes i'm working on it.. and i've actually been successful in many instances, even being able to recognize it as it happens and being able to take actual steps to rid myself of these feelings.. with help. It's NOT easy and sometimes takes longer than i'd like, but it honestly depends on the circumstances.
The last few days have been excessively hard because a few things piled up on me at the same time. When this happens it can be nearly impossible to clear your mind of the issues that caused the problem. This was the case with me and I wanted to say something here about it to explain to my friends why i've been kinda.. distant.. and to really thank those friends that really went out of their way to help and support me.. it really means a lot.
Without naming names and going into too many details.. i'll say this...
I was in a frequented picarto chat watching a friend draw and noticed there were a few new people in there. As most of you know, i'm rather playful in chats and let my character do silly things to get laughs and smiles from others. Something I usually do and have been doing for a very long time. someone in the chat wanted everyone to dance around.. so I typed that I started dancing around naked... now remember that my char usually only wears a vest and nothing more.. so it's not too far off from being naked as is. I started giggling and gave someone's nose a kiss... the next thing I know I got banned from the chat outright. Now mind you... no one ever said to stop.. or gave me any kind of warning or even seemed to be bothered by this.. just the banning... Now i'm going to say this... take it as you like... but when I act out in the chats, either stealing pants... or dancing around naked.. or being all cuddly... this is a CHARACTER... and one that is merely trying to get people to laugh and smile.. nothing more, at least in public. If I have some attraction with someone i'll take it to PM and not subject others to it.. frankly thats what you're SUPPOSED to do!
I figured that someone was acting like a twelve year old and had no clue how a chat environment worked... which I hate to say it.. has become typical of the fandom lately... filled with too many who act as do as I say and not as I do.
I thought the artist would remove the ban and life would go on... or at the very least communicate with me and tell me what was wrong or whatever.. but I was wrong and he even went and posted a journal to support the actions of the mods in his stream... telling me that this has been happening to a lot of people... why else would he put up a public journal about it. This really hurt my feelings pretty bad... to basically be judge jury and executioner without offering any explanation or rebuttal.
Hey I know... everyone has their right to do as they wish in/with their streams.. and i'm OK with that.. but to not even offer some explanation or even say hey man i'm sorry but someone got butthurt over something you did/said. which many already know i'd never do on purpose or out of malice. I mean hey.. it's just the right thing to do.. especially with a friend.
There may be some who don't agree with things I do... and thats fine... but anything I do is the same thing as a cartoon character dropping an anvil on someone's head or shoving a stick of dynamite down their pants.. it does nothing IRL.. I know there are boundaries and I have never intentionally crossed those boundaries and if I have I go back as soon as it's pointed out to me. It just feels like so many cannot separate RL and OC and this bothers me. The right thing to do for all parties involved is to state your displeasure and offer an opportunity for rebuttal BEFORE taking action... it's like calling 911 and reporting a rape because someone looked at you a certain way. this kind of thing effects everyone and makes you look bad as well as potentially being ignored if/when something really happens.
Think about things people... every action has a reaction on others.
Now before you say that i'm always feeling depressed/lonely/miserable about something/someone... I know this.. and yes i'm working on it.. and i've actually been successful in many instances, even being able to recognize it as it happens and being able to take actual steps to rid myself of these feelings.. with help. It's NOT easy and sometimes takes longer than i'd like, but it honestly depends on the circumstances.
The last few days have been excessively hard because a few things piled up on me at the same time. When this happens it can be nearly impossible to clear your mind of the issues that caused the problem. This was the case with me and I wanted to say something here about it to explain to my friends why i've been kinda.. distant.. and to really thank those friends that really went out of their way to help and support me.. it really means a lot.
Without naming names and going into too many details.. i'll say this...
I was in a frequented picarto chat watching a friend draw and noticed there were a few new people in there. As most of you know, i'm rather playful in chats and let my character do silly things to get laughs and smiles from others. Something I usually do and have been doing for a very long time. someone in the chat wanted everyone to dance around.. so I typed that I started dancing around naked... now remember that my char usually only wears a vest and nothing more.. so it's not too far off from being naked as is. I started giggling and gave someone's nose a kiss... the next thing I know I got banned from the chat outright. Now mind you... no one ever said to stop.. or gave me any kind of warning or even seemed to be bothered by this.. just the banning... Now i'm going to say this... take it as you like... but when I act out in the chats, either stealing pants... or dancing around naked.. or being all cuddly... this is a CHARACTER... and one that is merely trying to get people to laugh and smile.. nothing more, at least in public. If I have some attraction with someone i'll take it to PM and not subject others to it.. frankly thats what you're SUPPOSED to do!
I figured that someone was acting like a twelve year old and had no clue how a chat environment worked... which I hate to say it.. has become typical of the fandom lately... filled with too many who act as do as I say and not as I do.
I thought the artist would remove the ban and life would go on... or at the very least communicate with me and tell me what was wrong or whatever.. but I was wrong and he even went and posted a journal to support the actions of the mods in his stream... telling me that this has been happening to a lot of people... why else would he put up a public journal about it. This really hurt my feelings pretty bad... to basically be judge jury and executioner without offering any explanation or rebuttal.
Hey I know... everyone has their right to do as they wish in/with their streams.. and i'm OK with that.. but to not even offer some explanation or even say hey man i'm sorry but someone got butthurt over something you did/said. which many already know i'd never do on purpose or out of malice. I mean hey.. it's just the right thing to do.. especially with a friend.
There may be some who don't agree with things I do... and thats fine... but anything I do is the same thing as a cartoon character dropping an anvil on someone's head or shoving a stick of dynamite down their pants.. it does nothing IRL.. I know there are boundaries and I have never intentionally crossed those boundaries and if I have I go back as soon as it's pointed out to me. It just feels like so many cannot separate RL and OC and this bothers me. The right thing to do for all parties involved is to state your displeasure and offer an opportunity for rebuttal BEFORE taking action... it's like calling 911 and reporting a rape because someone looked at you a certain way. this kind of thing effects everyone and makes you look bad as well as potentially being ignored if/when something really happens.
Think about things people... every action has a reaction on others.
Be well my friend.
*hugs*
It seems now-a-days whats left of common sense has been placed in the trunk and political correctness has been put in the drivers seat. Another example I have is where I had a complaint made to the head office that I "am a neo-nazi because I support Hitler." This all stemmed from me saying I enjoyed learning about WW2, and one of the things I said was that while Hitler was absolutely insane, one has to admit that he did some great things in his country and had some brilliant ideas.
Now, anyone who has studied WW2 and preWW2 events would know that Hitler basically unified his country in a day that it was falling apart. He boosted the economy and cultivated some great German architecture. He had some very bold ideas for weapons, developmental plans for his country, even an ideal plan for his people [no not the one for extermination, but about how they should work hard during the week to better themselves and their country, then retreat for a 2-3 day weekend.]
However in this time period people don't want to hear truths, they don't want to hear about the past, or even to try and understand what someone's view is on a given situation. We live in a world where if you don't vote for an underdog your racist, If you vote for a black man your "PC." If you say something good about Trump your KKK, say something good about russia and your a spy, say something about Koria and your a comi, Say you support an officers actions your for a police state, and say your for the actions of a suspect, your for BLM. I guess I can add in if you nakie dance in a chat full of people your strange and perverted now.
I think its time we took what peoples opinions are of us and shove those opinions right back up their asses. At the end of the day, thats all this is about right, opinions? so why let it bother us since we are judged all the time by opinions that are made for the wrong reasons?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV-Z1YwaOiw
Thou from what I've seen since then from her I'm glad I removed her from my watch list.