I'm just really hoping he can get a job soon because that will really make me less paranoid I'm being used and prove to me he is serious... but you're right I shouldn't let him take advantage of me. Thanks so much for just taking the time to give me advice you're so kind! ; w ;

hope im not being presumptuous, given that im a stranger and spotted this when i came to your page to watch you, but frankly this guy sounds like he aint shit. he can buy his own weed or he can not smoke, and he clearly isnt responsible with money given that he gambled away half your savings the first week you moved. and especially if he treats you badly when you dont give him your money, thats a huge red flag.

you cant live on love alone - it does not sound like this guy respects you, nor does he sound serious about giving the same amount of attention and sacrifice that youve given in your relationship. like..... if he wasnt using you hed be trying to pick up the slack in paying for things equally so youre not the one financially responsible for both of you, but it doesnt sound like hes doing that.

as a concerned person whos been in similar situations before, he totally sounds like hes using you, and the fact that a) you suspect youre being used, and b) youve confronted him about this but he just says he loves you and doesnt appear to have tried to change his behavior, is telling. i cant tell you what to do, obviously, because im not in on the full story and its not my business, but be careful and be aware. just because you love him and he says he loves you, doesnt mean you have to stick with him if hes draining all your money and making you paranoid and not giving back in any way. actions speak way louder than words, and people who love each other genuinely dont act the way it sounds like hes acting towards you.

best of luck, and if you ever need to talk to someone, my notes are open.

you're all good i'm so appreciative of everyone's input and just to know ppl care about my situation means a lot! but yeah another big problem i have with him is i do feel like he doesn't respect me and as a result of that he takes advantage of my feelings for him. it's so confusing because if we didn't have financial troubles i bet it'd be so much better... cuz it's not like it's bad all the time i feel like he pushes me to be a better person and he helps with my anxiety when we go out. since i made this journal he has gotten a few job interviews which i'm so proud of and i hope he can hold down a steady job soon which would just make me feel so much better. because you're right! he should show me through his actions not just words!

thats good! i hope hes able to get a job and i hope that afterwards things change for the better between you two.