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I guess that I own a little explanation...
8 years ago
Hiya! A small kitten gather some papers together, marked with crayons above a card box that says: "NEWZ FLASH" =_=
WARNING: Do not read this text if you're too sensitive.
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By now, you have already noticed that I've been a little absent recently.
I makes ages since I posted my last piece of art, and even more when it comes to anything written! I've been promising to rewrite my characters origin story, I even brainstormed a bit... But I didn't really put anything into a paper yet, so everything is still on my head. However, despite how a approaching this subject matter with a darker tone, I'm pretty fine. As a matter of fact, I've never felt so great on my entire life!
This must still sounds confusing, so let me do a recall...
During the first half of this year, I was dealing with a severe depression. Back in a day, I was already used to take care of my mother whenever she had a episode alike, but I would never expect me to suffer from the same issue. And what it made the experience ten times worse than it should be, is the fact the neither I or my parents truly knew how to deal with the problem.
I mean... I don't even knew why I was unhappy... I just was unhappy and it was truly awful if you ask me.
Depending on the day, or the time... I was different, always unstable. There was times where I was just me: happier and playful as ever, inspired to the very core. But there was others... Where I just was sad, miserable... Not even wanting to play or sleep, just afraid trying to avoid my problems while watching random videos on You Tube.
Thankfully, I find out the reason why not so long ago... I think that it was September or October when it happened.
I was on my routine visit to the psychologist, but it was different because my old doctor was replaced by a new one. I didn't knew what to expect... I would have to restart all over again... And I didn't had a clue about her or her methods. All that I want was that to end for me to go home.
However, after everything that I told her... She made me a question that hit my guts hard in way that I'll never forget:
"What do you want to do for the rest of your life?"
I've never felt so overwhelmed by a question before... The funny thing is... I never really stopped to fully think on what I wanted to my life since I started the College back in 2016. The thing is: my choice of becoming a journalist was nothing but a lie.
I wasn't really seeking any truth or doing what I want and love, I was pretending during the whole course. I was telling myself that I've a purpose and seeking one, but in reality I was going either nowhere, or a direction that I would regret for the rest of my existence. Than I decided to rethink my future.
I took a look back in my past and I realized: I never really wanted to write newspapers... I always wanted to play and most importantly CREATE videogames. My truly real dream was to become a game developer and designer... Make my own games. The very reason why I was unhappy is because I was seeking a dream, but I gave up on it because I thought it was too difficult. When in reality... It isn't.
And that made me change so much... The Alpha you knew before November of 2017 is even non recognizable in comparison to me know. I'm a totally different person know, and I'm continuously changing myself.
I'm doing exercises, studying for jobs in government as a way to raise money, making courses... My skills are improving and nest year I'll start another graduation course. However this time... Is a course that I like! Meant for everyone that truly loves videogames and want to work with them.
Which is why I've been kinda absent, taking some time for myself while I still can, but seriously though... I`m okay. And I'll not leave Fur Affinity or the furry fandom. Becuase in a way or another... This place is my home, so I would rather stay. During this time... I politely ask for your patience. But I will make a comeback with lots of art!
================================================
By now, you have already noticed that I've been a little absent recently.
I makes ages since I posted my last piece of art, and even more when it comes to anything written! I've been promising to rewrite my characters origin story, I even brainstormed a bit... But I didn't really put anything into a paper yet, so everything is still on my head. However, despite how a approaching this subject matter with a darker tone, I'm pretty fine. As a matter of fact, I've never felt so great on my entire life!
This must still sounds confusing, so let me do a recall...
During the first half of this year, I was dealing with a severe depression. Back in a day, I was already used to take care of my mother whenever she had a episode alike, but I would never expect me to suffer from the same issue. And what it made the experience ten times worse than it should be, is the fact the neither I or my parents truly knew how to deal with the problem.
I mean... I don't even knew why I was unhappy... I just was unhappy and it was truly awful if you ask me.
Depending on the day, or the time... I was different, always unstable. There was times where I was just me: happier and playful as ever, inspired to the very core. But there was others... Where I just was sad, miserable... Not even wanting to play or sleep, just afraid trying to avoid my problems while watching random videos on You Tube.
Thankfully, I find out the reason why not so long ago... I think that it was September or October when it happened.
I was on my routine visit to the psychologist, but it was different because my old doctor was replaced by a new one. I didn't knew what to expect... I would have to restart all over again... And I didn't had a clue about her or her methods. All that I want was that to end for me to go home.
However, after everything that I told her... She made me a question that hit my guts hard in way that I'll never forget:
"What do you want to do for the rest of your life?"
I've never felt so overwhelmed by a question before... The funny thing is... I never really stopped to fully think on what I wanted to my life since I started the College back in 2016. The thing is: my choice of becoming a journalist was nothing but a lie.
I wasn't really seeking any truth or doing what I want and love, I was pretending during the whole course. I was telling myself that I've a purpose and seeking one, but in reality I was going either nowhere, or a direction that I would regret for the rest of my existence. Than I decided to rethink my future.
I took a look back in my past and I realized: I never really wanted to write newspapers... I always wanted to play and most importantly CREATE videogames. My truly real dream was to become a game developer and designer... Make my own games. The very reason why I was unhappy is because I was seeking a dream, but I gave up on it because I thought it was too difficult. When in reality... It isn't.
And that made me change so much... The Alpha you knew before November of 2017 is even non recognizable in comparison to me know. I'm a totally different person know, and I'm continuously changing myself.
I'm doing exercises, studying for jobs in government as a way to raise money, making courses... My skills are improving and nest year I'll start another graduation course. However this time... Is a course that I like! Meant for everyone that truly loves videogames and want to work with them.
Which is why I've been kinda absent, taking some time for myself while I still can, but seriously though... I`m okay. And I'll not leave Fur Affinity or the furry fandom. Becuase in a way or another... This place is my home, so I would rather stay. During this time... I politely ask for your patience. But I will make a comeback with lots of art!
