Like at all really. I managed to put some lights on our porch, put the tree and wreath up.. But it's just all still really depressing since around this time everyone knew of Alex and were buying me things for the pregnancy and for him. And this would of been his first christmas with us..

I've been try think of something to do holiday wise to honor him, I don't know if I want to donate time somewhere or make a stocking for another bereaved family or a baby in the nicu. I just want to do something to try and make this christmas positive for me.

I don't know.. There's just this empty void without him and it sucks.