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What 2017 shown me.
8 years ago
Jan. 2017
Excitement builds up! Talks further of getting an apartment with my love Skunky. He was away with family and enjoying some back at home time after a crazy 2016 school year. We were both hyped. We searched high and low for some really great places. (His dad did a lot of the searching for us) and we finally found some great apartments we went and visited months later when they were available.
Feb. 2017
I was struggling to find a better job. One that I would stay at for a long time and enjoy. I ended up loving working at a bbq place. Its was along the lines of fast food but on a different sort of level. I was trained quickly due to my many years of experience in other food industry jobs. It felt like a great fit. Things were looking great!
Mar.-Apr. 2017
Skunky was stressing out badly over school. It was affecting his free time and out time to be together. I told him to not worry too much about the whole us thing and to focus on school so he didn't have so much happening to stress him out. We went and toured the new apartments and we fell in love with them almost immediately. I could tell us planning to move in with one another would be something that would change my life for good. I finally found the happiness I have been missing for so many years.
May 2017
Skunky explains to me that was going to be leaving again and spending the summer back home but had to leave early for a job opportunity he landed from school. I was all for it! I wished him all the luck and told him to focus on that. Well the whole missing him stuck me hard. It increased some depression that was bottled up from not spending much time with him already while he focused on school and finals. Work wasn't helping much either. Lots of stress started to build up. End of May I moved out of my apartment and into a new one. We housed my things and Skunky's things there for just a month time. I lived there and watched over things as Skunky departed back home. I missed him so much.
June 2017
Was hit by a wave of sadness and loneliness watching Skunky's Twitter posts and seeing how much fun he was having. As for me I was working my tail off to make some extra money for yet more moving cost. Was looking forward to have a place with him. It sucked sure but I was determined to see this happen. So I worked and worked.
July 2017
Celebrated the 4th at work and then alone. I didnt' think much of it really. What I didn't know was yet to come.. Rest the month went on slowly. At the end of the month I was prepping to move into the bigger place. Skunky was making his way to Florida to meet some friends and hit up Mexaplex.
Aug. 2017
Moving day at last! Oh boy.. only one of the hired help even showed up. Thank god for him tho or else I don't think I would ever had finished this alone. Took me 12 hours to finish. That wasn't what crushed me tho. Took me a nice break and ran through Twitter. Saw something that killed me inside. A post from a popular murrsuiter was being RT'd like crazy. Skunky was in the video posted. I felt my chest sink in. Here I am moving all of our things into the new apartment and he's down in Florida having sex with others.. That day became 1000 times harder for me to finish off. Long story short, Skunky broke up with me 2 days before his return to the new apartment. Mind you I had been there over a week and a half and he drops this bombshell on me out of nowhere. He tells me he couldn't handle the stress of pursuing and career and having a relationship.. I attempt suicide that very night. I nearly lost my job over this.. Skunky returns..
Sep. 2017
The awkwardness in the apartment is unnerving. Little is said between Skunky and I and he finds comfort in a friend that would visit every weekend. No one came to see me. I asked around but only ended up working more hours. The atmosphere was very dark. Some chatting happened and may had found a way to attend MFF finally! I was feeling good and happy. I quickly put in for the time off months in advance.
Oct. 2017
Still little was said between Skunky and I. He focused on school and I focused on work. I worked my Halloween cause Skunky said he wasn't going to go. So I didn't take that day off. Get off work, caught a ride home from a coworker cause it was slightly raining. Well that cancelled out my plans to suit up and walk around in town. Get on Twitter. There's Skunky posting pics from the KCFur Howl event he told me he wasn't going to go to. Lies.. more fucking lies..
Nov. 2017
Someone finally came to visit me! I was super happy. We spent the best weekend together. Was so much fun! I try out a new fetish and role. I got to be a bit of a dom and really enjoyed the experience. Nothing bothered me that weekend. Weeks past and I kept to myself, Skunky to himself. We were chatting more now but not a lot. Not long after the same friend came back to visit! Excitement blew over me once more! We went to a shop and bought some fun things to try out. BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE! Things started to look better in my vision. That shitty summer was beginning to fade away. Week later, said friend no longer wants to fool around. He then moved further away. I... I.. don't know what the fuck I did. Why is everyone just running away from me? No Thanksgiving for me, I ate pizza rolls alone. Skunky was yet again gone off having fun.
Dec. 2017
Horrible end of what was the shittiest year I think I had ever experienced. Depression hit me hard. I stopped caring. I lacked energy. I stopped eating. Woo... I lost weight.. and then I lost my job.. Just end my life already.. everything was already taken from me.. Near the end of the month had someone come and visit me out of the blue! It helped cheer me up and we had a great overnight time. Christmas came.. Nothing.. No calls, no emails, no texts except from a few friends and a really cute and nice card with a couple gift cards for me. I glad I got something. Hurt me more when I couldn't give back.
2017 turned out to be more of a nightmare than what I thought it would. Started out great and got better. Halfway it all fell apart and went down hill from there. Just goes to show you all that when I bitch and complain that my life is cursed, I wasn't joking at all. Its truly fucking cursed. Happiness is something I dread and fear. I no longer make attempts to pursue anything that would bring me joy cause it won't last.
Excitement builds up! Talks further of getting an apartment with my love Skunky. He was away with family and enjoying some back at home time after a crazy 2016 school year. We were both hyped. We searched high and low for some really great places. (His dad did a lot of the searching for us) and we finally found some great apartments we went and visited months later when they were available.
Feb. 2017
I was struggling to find a better job. One that I would stay at for a long time and enjoy. I ended up loving working at a bbq place. Its was along the lines of fast food but on a different sort of level. I was trained quickly due to my many years of experience in other food industry jobs. It felt like a great fit. Things were looking great!
Mar.-Apr. 2017
Skunky was stressing out badly over school. It was affecting his free time and out time to be together. I told him to not worry too much about the whole us thing and to focus on school so he didn't have so much happening to stress him out. We went and toured the new apartments and we fell in love with them almost immediately. I could tell us planning to move in with one another would be something that would change my life for good. I finally found the happiness I have been missing for so many years.
May 2017
Skunky explains to me that was going to be leaving again and spending the summer back home but had to leave early for a job opportunity he landed from school. I was all for it! I wished him all the luck and told him to focus on that. Well the whole missing him stuck me hard. It increased some depression that was bottled up from not spending much time with him already while he focused on school and finals. Work wasn't helping much either. Lots of stress started to build up. End of May I moved out of my apartment and into a new one. We housed my things and Skunky's things there for just a month time. I lived there and watched over things as Skunky departed back home. I missed him so much.
June 2017
Was hit by a wave of sadness and loneliness watching Skunky's Twitter posts and seeing how much fun he was having. As for me I was working my tail off to make some extra money for yet more moving cost. Was looking forward to have a place with him. It sucked sure but I was determined to see this happen. So I worked and worked.
July 2017
Celebrated the 4th at work and then alone. I didnt' think much of it really. What I didn't know was yet to come.. Rest the month went on slowly. At the end of the month I was prepping to move into the bigger place. Skunky was making his way to Florida to meet some friends and hit up Mexaplex.
Aug. 2017
Moving day at last! Oh boy.. only one of the hired help even showed up. Thank god for him tho or else I don't think I would ever had finished this alone. Took me 12 hours to finish. That wasn't what crushed me tho. Took me a nice break and ran through Twitter. Saw something that killed me inside. A post from a popular murrsuiter was being RT'd like crazy. Skunky was in the video posted. I felt my chest sink in. Here I am moving all of our things into the new apartment and he's down in Florida having sex with others.. That day became 1000 times harder for me to finish off. Long story short, Skunky broke up with me 2 days before his return to the new apartment. Mind you I had been there over a week and a half and he drops this bombshell on me out of nowhere. He tells me he couldn't handle the stress of pursuing and career and having a relationship.. I attempt suicide that very night. I nearly lost my job over this.. Skunky returns..
Sep. 2017
The awkwardness in the apartment is unnerving. Little is said between Skunky and I and he finds comfort in a friend that would visit every weekend. No one came to see me. I asked around but only ended up working more hours. The atmosphere was very dark. Some chatting happened and may had found a way to attend MFF finally! I was feeling good and happy. I quickly put in for the time off months in advance.
Oct. 2017
Still little was said between Skunky and I. He focused on school and I focused on work. I worked my Halloween cause Skunky said he wasn't going to go. So I didn't take that day off. Get off work, caught a ride home from a coworker cause it was slightly raining. Well that cancelled out my plans to suit up and walk around in town. Get on Twitter. There's Skunky posting pics from the KCFur Howl event he told me he wasn't going to go to. Lies.. more fucking lies..
Nov. 2017
Someone finally came to visit me! I was super happy. We spent the best weekend together. Was so much fun! I try out a new fetish and role. I got to be a bit of a dom and really enjoyed the experience. Nothing bothered me that weekend. Weeks past and I kept to myself, Skunky to himself. We were chatting more now but not a lot. Not long after the same friend came back to visit! Excitement blew over me once more! We went to a shop and bought some fun things to try out. BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE! Things started to look better in my vision. That shitty summer was beginning to fade away. Week later, said friend no longer wants to fool around. He then moved further away. I... I.. don't know what the fuck I did. Why is everyone just running away from me? No Thanksgiving for me, I ate pizza rolls alone. Skunky was yet again gone off having fun.
Dec. 2017
Horrible end of what was the shittiest year I think I had ever experienced. Depression hit me hard. I stopped caring. I lacked energy. I stopped eating. Woo... I lost weight.. and then I lost my job.. Just end my life already.. everything was already taken from me.. Near the end of the month had someone come and visit me out of the blue! It helped cheer me up and we had a great overnight time. Christmas came.. Nothing.. No calls, no emails, no texts except from a few friends and a really cute and nice card with a couple gift cards for me. I glad I got something. Hurt me more when I couldn't give back.
2017 turned out to be more of a nightmare than what I thought it would. Started out great and got better. Halfway it all fell apart and went down hill from there. Just goes to show you all that when I bitch and complain that my life is cursed, I wasn't joking at all. Its truly fucking cursed. Happiness is something I dread and fear. I no longer make attempts to pursue anything that would bring me joy cause it won't last.
