Everyday gets sadder, every time I drive I think of how best to end it all, music no longer cushions my mind from these dark thoughts that have gotten more prevalent. I look to others profiles and cry at the lack of mention of me as a friend, each day gets worse, every conversation gets sadder, every update is more and more ghastly. I don't want to live anymore, the things that gave me joy no longer do. I can't make art, I've lost love for writing, my happiness zapped these days. Is it depression, who knows, maybe I'm just worthless and this is a sign. Would anyone care if I left, would anyone miss me past the occasional art I get with people? I think no, I think everyone would move on fast... I mean I'm not anything special anyhow, just some ugly elephant, no one likes those, from what I read anyhow. If this is what the rest of my life will be like, why continue, why try, when it all crashes back down again. Everything I try fails, every time I'm alone or off work I don't want to live, I don't want to wake, hell I spent the whole day lying in bed, not able to think of anything to motivate me up. I'm just as good as a tissue, a one time use to help and then worthless.