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What a difference a year makes for mental & Physical health
7 years ago
It's been almost a year since I have been on here.
A year since I stepped away from the fandom.
A year since I ignored my declining mental health, and because of that, hurt many people in the process.
A year since I have attended ANY conventions or meets due to the blackmail efforts of several people whom I at one time called "friends".
In this time, I have come to grips and work toward improving my reality.
The fact of the matter is, much of what happened is my fault and the fault of others. Having said that, I have some fairly anticipated news. My health seems to be on an upswing as I slowly recover from infections, blockages, and impactions throughout my body.
I have always worked toward an equal understanding of things. Trying to help others and putting my own beliefs to the side. It is just part of who I am. I put aside my focus and logic and decided to attempt to start carving out a little bit of a life for myself, while denying who I am as a person. I became the embodiment of everything I have tried to help people avoid for years.
Because of my mistakes, I have had people threaten me physically, as well as my career in comedy, music, and politics.
I can tell you now. A year later. My apologies come from the deepest part of my heart. To those effected by my waining mental health there is nothing I can do but ask that you accept my apologies. If you are unable to do so, I ask that you simply do not acknowledge my existence, write me out of your life and memory. The fandom doesn't need that level of Drama. Nor do you, or I.
To clear up a few rumors:
Appently I committed suicide?..... well, as you can see.... unless I am some ghostly or ghoulish visage typing from the beyond. I am still very much alive.
I moved? Well, kinda. I needed a place to stay after my release from the mental health facility. So while I still reside in Saint Louis, I do not reside where I was previously.
I quit doing comedy. No, I quit doing comedy at furry conventions for a bit. I may return, I may not. I still have a lot to figure out. My comedy career is still very much active, if anything recent actions have boosted my popularity as a comedian. (More on that next.)
I am running for political office.... Correct. I am... as a Republican. (Lol not a joke) I figure if anyone is going to change the way the Republican party views people, it will have to be done from within.
I quit music.
Very incorrect. If anything i am more involved with music NOW than I ever was.
I got engaged? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
I will likely NEVER put another ring on my finger or get married again. EVER. To me, its not worth it. I will build and maintain friendships.... but a marriage.... absolutely not. In the passed few years, people have proven to me, that I am in no way ready, or willing to undertake THAT kind of life change.
To wrap things up. I do miss my friends. I do miss the way things were BEFORE my mental collapse. But I have a lot of work to do on myself.
In the meantime, I am planning a rather large scale invite birthday party. Not just for me, but also for the fandom. So, I am going to start work on putting together a convention.
More on that later.
For now. Thank you for reading. And if you made it this far, know that I appreciate you and your friendship. To those who hate me. Ok. I ask for your forgiveness, I offer my deepest apologies, and I wish you a long and happy life. But unless you wish to actually be my friend again. Please, just leave me alone. I have no use, or want for any more drama.
Take care and be well.
Apologetically,
Tracer
A year since I stepped away from the fandom.
A year since I ignored my declining mental health, and because of that, hurt many people in the process.
A year since I have attended ANY conventions or meets due to the blackmail efforts of several people whom I at one time called "friends".
In this time, I have come to grips and work toward improving my reality.
The fact of the matter is, much of what happened is my fault and the fault of others. Having said that, I have some fairly anticipated news. My health seems to be on an upswing as I slowly recover from infections, blockages, and impactions throughout my body.
I have always worked toward an equal understanding of things. Trying to help others and putting my own beliefs to the side. It is just part of who I am. I put aside my focus and logic and decided to attempt to start carving out a little bit of a life for myself, while denying who I am as a person. I became the embodiment of everything I have tried to help people avoid for years.
Because of my mistakes, I have had people threaten me physically, as well as my career in comedy, music, and politics.
I can tell you now. A year later. My apologies come from the deepest part of my heart. To those effected by my waining mental health there is nothing I can do but ask that you accept my apologies. If you are unable to do so, I ask that you simply do not acknowledge my existence, write me out of your life and memory. The fandom doesn't need that level of Drama. Nor do you, or I.
To clear up a few rumors:
Appently I committed suicide?..... well, as you can see.... unless I am some ghostly or ghoulish visage typing from the beyond. I am still very much alive.
I moved? Well, kinda. I needed a place to stay after my release from the mental health facility. So while I still reside in Saint Louis, I do not reside where I was previously.
I quit doing comedy. No, I quit doing comedy at furry conventions for a bit. I may return, I may not. I still have a lot to figure out. My comedy career is still very much active, if anything recent actions have boosted my popularity as a comedian. (More on that next.)
I am running for political office.... Correct. I am... as a Republican. (Lol not a joke) I figure if anyone is going to change the way the Republican party views people, it will have to be done from within.
I quit music.
Very incorrect. If anything i am more involved with music NOW than I ever was.
I got engaged? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
I will likely NEVER put another ring on my finger or get married again. EVER. To me, its not worth it. I will build and maintain friendships.... but a marriage.... absolutely not. In the passed few years, people have proven to me, that I am in no way ready, or willing to undertake THAT kind of life change.
To wrap things up. I do miss my friends. I do miss the way things were BEFORE my mental collapse. But I have a lot of work to do on myself.
In the meantime, I am planning a rather large scale invite birthday party. Not just for me, but also for the fandom. So, I am going to start work on putting together a convention.
More on that later.
For now. Thank you for reading. And if you made it this far, know that I appreciate you and your friendship. To those who hate me. Ok. I ask for your forgiveness, I offer my deepest apologies, and I wish you a long and happy life. But unless you wish to actually be my friend again. Please, just leave me alone. I have no use, or want for any more drama.
Take care and be well.
Apologetically,
Tracer
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