I dont know if I should apologize or be excited or both, but I finally got back into my FA account.

Let me give you the in a nutshell version.

My most recent FA commission experience had really made me question myself and my skills. It didn't go smoothly for me, and I shouldn't have even taken it in the first place because I was not in a good spot emotionally and my schedule did not allow for it. Long story short, the person was not happy with it, and I don't blame them. I was doing my best to get it done with the time I had while starting a new job out of state and I was just under a lot of stress. Not good excuses, just how it was. I really felt like I failed that person and I was really ashamed so I took a long break from FA. I figured if they were let down, I would probably just let everyone else down too anyway. That was my insecurity talking.

(Note: Please do not blame this person for anything. They did nothing wrong at all. Just poor circumstances on my part.)

I suffer from intense anxiety and depression. I let those things get the best of me in that scenario so I left FA. I tried to forget about it and just wait it out so I could come back again later. In that time (from what I understand) FA had a large security issue and demanded everyone change their passwords or something. Nobody fully explained it to me. I tried logging in MANY times, and for a period there I seemed to have missed a window to re-log in at all and I felt like I'd never get back into this thing.

Then yesterday I was talking to one of my good IRL friends. We were talking about side commissions we've been doing and he mentioned FA. I told him about my history with it and all of my truly fond memories with all of you. Really always made my heart sink talking about it because I felt I couldn't ever get back into my account and explain what's been going on. So I woke up this morning, tried again after maybe a year of giving up, and it seems their password recovery actually works and here we are.

I've created a lot of new and fun things over the years which I might (MIGHT) share periodically on here. It's been a very strange few years to say the least. If anything, if I decide to leave FA for good, I'll leave my current sites where you can connect with me and follow each other.

This might seem dramatic but I sincerely apologize for my absence and I can't say how sorry I am for letting anybody think something bad happened to me. I just seriously couldnt get into my account and I eventually gave up.

If you'll have me back I'd love to chat again.

- Talbaine