Not sure why I'm posting this. I guess because I haven't heard this song in years, and listened to it the other day out of sheer randomness and still knew it word for word. At one point in time, in my teenage years, I used to listen to it almost daily. It was like the only song that ever spoke to me at that time. Back then I used to call it my favorite song, and honestly I still do just because of the impact it had.
I was actually a very depressed teenager.. but I'd put on a mask of smiles and hide it so nobody really knew any better.

As for this journal here.. right now.. no, I'm not depressed or feeling down. I just felt like rambling about a song that had a particular impact on me for whatever reason. It might sound weird, but it really did help me a lot.

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Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down
I cry for help but no one's around
Silently screaming as I bang my head against the wall
It seems like no one cares at all

Always an emotion, but how can I explain? (how can I explain?)
Kinda like the scent of a rose with words you can't explain, the same with my pain
Caught up in emotion, goes over my head (goes over my head)
Sometimes I gotta think to myself 'is this life or death, am I livin or am I dead?'

The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I've had
Some were good, most were bad

I search for personality and I look for things I cannot see
Love and peace flash through my mind, pain and hate is all I find
Find no hope in nothin new and I never had a dream come true
Lies and hate and agony, and through my eyes that's all I see

If I'm gonna cry.. will you wipe away my tears?
And if I'm gonna die.. Lord, please take away my fears
Before I drown in sorrow.. well I just want to say
How will I laugh tomorrow.. when I can't even smile today?
(Today! Today!) When I can't even smile today
(Today! Today!) When I can't even smile today
How will I laugh tomorrow (when I can't even smile today?)
How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today?

You think somethin's funny?

Laugh at this!

So when I look outside my room
I see the world but not the reason
What it's done to me's not fair
You call it fate, I call it treason
But I know not what to do
Give me a sign, I'll take whatever
But if you want me here I am
Ain't gonna die forever

And I tried to hold ya.. but you just turned away!
And I tried to tell ya.. but not a word I say!
I cried out so loudly.. but you just covered your ears!
I gave you all the signs.. but you ignored my tears!

So if you want me here I am
I sit here and wait, it's your decision
But my body fights my mind
They're headed straight for a collision
So am I getting near or am I still
Looking in all the wrong places?
But the only thing that seems to change
Are the looks on the faces!

-solo-

Doesn't anyone...
Seems like no one cares at all
(I search for personality and I look for things I cannot see)
Does anyone even care at all?
(Love and peace flash through my mind, pain and hate is all I find)
Seems like no one cares at all
(Find no hope in nothin new and I never had a dream come true)
Does anyone even care at all?
(Lies and hate and agony, and through my eyes that's all I see)
It seems like no one cares at all

How will I laugh tomorrow?
How will I laugh tomorrow?
How will I laugh tomorrow?
How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today!
Today! Today! When I can't even smile today!
Today! Today! When I can't even smile today!
How will I laugh tomorrow (when I can't even smile today!)
How will I laugh tomorrow (when I can't even smile) TODAY!