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Socializing in the Community
7 years ago
Oh, hello!
Not something I do crazy often. I have twitter but don't talk to anyone there, don't commission folks much or sell art, don't have any furry friends (I'm pretty specific with my definition of friendship), and don't really talk to anyone in the areas I live in.
I did try, for a while. I thought it would be cool and fun, and it was for a little while. But over time the typical downsides of social interaction and community awareness showed up. It become clear to me how little I wanted to talk to most of the furs in my college area ^^; I know the community is made up of a ton (if not mostly made up of) males, but jeez. There was an imbalance of cultures that just really got on my nerves and made me uncomfortable, so I had to leave. I met some locals my age irl, but that kind of interaction isn't completely necessary for me and I just became more and more aware of the flaws and differences we all had that made it difficult for us to get along as well as I do with my friends, so I had to cut ties with them too.
In the state where my family lives, the community there isn't amazing for me either. There seems to be a better balance of folks, but the group is so closed off and rude to people who aren't part fo it that I was never able to fit in well. Additionally, despite my typical efforts to mesh well with everyone and meet folks, no one spoke to me or replied to me when I said anything (in the Facebook group). I didn't make any friends, no one welcomed me, and I was actually treated very rudely by someone there for a really stupid reason (concerning the social anxiety I can't avoid or escape. Come to think of it, I was also quite intensely mistreated by one of the locals here in my college area. It actually really messed me up and I was cornered and starting to break down, but God sent one lovey person who just also happened to have Autism to come and defend me against her. Not a single other person in the group (and there were several people active and online) did a single thing to intervene.
Assholes. -n-
No one in the "real world", or more traditional communities, has ever mistreated me, but the few times I made attempts to interact with other furs I was attacked and "bullied". I often make sure to notice that the people announcing their exits form the community tend to be at least a little social in the community. It made sense to me even before I started trying to talk to people.
I should probably just stick to my skill of not needing to talk to others much. It would save me a lot of wasted energy, time, and emotion. Every time I reach out, especially online, something happens that makes me regret it. Now I've lost the laminator my dad gave me back when my heart had less holes in it. It was a sign of better things to come, and a generator of possibilities, and in my idiotic kindness I threw it into a black hole so the person who attacked me could make a few bucks over the long, long break they had that I certainly could've used.
Cons seem nice. But I should stop wanting to go to them. They're social events and I know no one in the community. I can commission people online if I insist and suit around my dorm or campus at night if I must. But there's nothing I can gain from a con. Not even an anime con. I really just can't enjoy the social side of any communities I'm attached to, and I need to remember and understand that so I don't waste any more time in my life. Not to say I don't enjoy talking to anyone. I just can't get much enjoyment out of seeking people out, as I don't have the skill to talk to them for very long and I'll probably make a mistake that will erase the chances of future interactions. And once folks notice that, they don't want to talk to me anyway, so it's fine I guess.
I did try, for a while. I thought it would be cool and fun, and it was for a little while. But over time the typical downsides of social interaction and community awareness showed up. It become clear to me how little I wanted to talk to most of the furs in my college area ^^; I know the community is made up of a ton (if not mostly made up of) males, but jeez. There was an imbalance of cultures that just really got on my nerves and made me uncomfortable, so I had to leave. I met some locals my age irl, but that kind of interaction isn't completely necessary for me and I just became more and more aware of the flaws and differences we all had that made it difficult for us to get along as well as I do with my friends, so I had to cut ties with them too.
In the state where my family lives, the community there isn't amazing for me either. There seems to be a better balance of folks, but the group is so closed off and rude to people who aren't part fo it that I was never able to fit in well. Additionally, despite my typical efforts to mesh well with everyone and meet folks, no one spoke to me or replied to me when I said anything (in the Facebook group). I didn't make any friends, no one welcomed me, and I was actually treated very rudely by someone there for a really stupid reason (concerning the social anxiety I can't avoid or escape. Come to think of it, I was also quite intensely mistreated by one of the locals here in my college area. It actually really messed me up and I was cornered and starting to break down, but God sent one lovey person who just also happened to have Autism to come and defend me against her. Not a single other person in the group (and there were several people active and online) did a single thing to intervene.
Assholes. -n-
No one in the "real world", or more traditional communities, has ever mistreated me, but the few times I made attempts to interact with other furs I was attacked and "bullied". I often make sure to notice that the people announcing their exits form the community tend to be at least a little social in the community. It made sense to me even before I started trying to talk to people.
I should probably just stick to my skill of not needing to talk to others much. It would save me a lot of wasted energy, time, and emotion. Every time I reach out, especially online, something happens that makes me regret it. Now I've lost the laminator my dad gave me back when my heart had less holes in it. It was a sign of better things to come, and a generator of possibilities, and in my idiotic kindness I threw it into a black hole so the person who attacked me could make a few bucks over the long, long break they had that I certainly could've used.
Cons seem nice. But I should stop wanting to go to them. They're social events and I know no one in the community. I can commission people online if I insist and suit around my dorm or campus at night if I must. But there's nothing I can gain from a con. Not even an anime con. I really just can't enjoy the social side of any communities I'm attached to, and I need to remember and understand that so I don't waste any more time in my life. Not to say I don't enjoy talking to anyone. I just can't get much enjoyment out of seeking people out, as I don't have the skill to talk to them for very long and I'll probably make a mistake that will erase the chances of future interactions. And once folks notice that, they don't want to talk to me anyway, so it's fine I guess.
its nice talking to people...i value heartfelt conversations more so than "OMG DID YOU SEE WHAT KIM KARDASHIAN IS WEARING?"
I want to discuss what people think about after we die, what is the most disgusting attribute in people, what they like and why....you know...the juicy stuff. I'll definitely talk about fashion to the best of my power, but its nothing i enjoy...
i remember a picture that i kept on my old computer that reminds me of myself. It has one man staring at a picture of some trees on a fence, another man looking over the fence, and another man with the trees....
you just do you and try your best. Don't be someone you're not...there are good people out there that will have meaningful conversations with you and won't treat you in a mean cruel fashion. If you ever need someone to talk to you can always talk to me k!