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Where has the innocence gone?
7 years ago
Oi I apologize for the fatalistic title friends.
So I lost something recently and it forced me to dig through all my old stuff, and I happened upon an old sketchbook. I decided to open it. (All of my sketchbooks have anthros... Maybe a space ship here and there)
Flipping through the pages I saw my meager but honest attempts to re- draw other people's art, and I felt the spirit behind it. It was so sweet, so innocent. Not that I am drawing "bad" stuff now, although I did draw a nude and one intimate scene (Drew it an hour ago lol) with no bits showing.
After I wrote my first love scene years ago, I remember walking down the dirt road and realizing that sex can be something beautiful... Not something that causes me shame. And that it is something I am "allowed" to experience with someone of the opposite sex, if that makes any sense. Something clean, pure, wonderful, even fun.
Because I guess up until this point in my life the majority of my sexual experiences were fairly awful, and when I was very, very young.
So, the intimate scene of a loving woman and the man who cared for her opened doors in my heart that should have been opened when I hit puberty, but were closed due to the shit that happened to me by people of the same sex, and even cruelty by the opposite sex.
I mentioned I drew an intimate scene not long ago, I got an older laptop that has stylus capabilities and I have been drawing with it fairly often.
In searching for reference art, I tried to find the most loving, caring, devoted, passionate things I can find... And sadly, there's not much out there.
Talking to my best friend, he said that American men are afraid of being called "Gay" if they show a tender, caring, loving side to western women. He cited an example of an ex of his... How utterly sad.
Don't women want men who will truly love them, and appreciate them, and be grateful they are in their lives? Or is that "gay"? How sad that men are not allowed to show any true affection, lest those afraid to confront their tender sides blurt out that they are gay.
Anyway, back to the original point. My art has become a lot more mature. Drawing this scene between a Naakaanee (anthro) woman and a human man was... Amazing, exciting, and dare I say, touching and beautiful. It left me with some pretty powerful emotions, some warm and sensual, others not so much.
Looking back at my earlier art, I am saddened to see that I have lost some of my innocence. Such as Walt Disney drawing hard core art of some of his characters, it's like... Well. I don't know. (I know that is out there but I just... Can't. Keep innocence.. Innocent.)
That said, seeing this affectionate, caring Naakaanee woman, her society based on the truest, purest love and devotion, seeing her so close to this man- not sure what story it will be from, perhaps the one I am writing now, but seeing them together like that, in true passion was simply... Wonderful.
It gave me hope for a wife who will care for me with a pure heart, one day. Who will love me the way I have been dying to be loved all of my life... Hoped, prayed, sacrificed. Brutally introspected with terrifying honesty, my own thoughts, motivations, even the darkness in my heart, all to become the man she wants to be vulnerable to.
In the picture, I experimented with her face, a bit. The expressions ranged from wildly passionate, to lustful, to playful, and finally, I settled on "Happy she is finally with a man who loves her, her heart unassuming, her love pure. Forged in the fires of adversity, he has proven his worthiness of such a maiden, a woman from a pure world untainted by human corruption. Finally, after years of waiting, of knowing one another, of growing fond, of building a lasting foundation that will endure for the remainder of their lives, he sheds his clothes, and she sheds hers. In nervous, but anxious anticipation, they discover what it means to be joined as one.
In short... it was wonderful. But it was also crossing a line. I have to be so careful... Like with writing my first love scene in my stories (it was 20 pages long! 30 if you format it like a novel!) soon every story became a reason for a sex scene, my characters lost their souls, and it became all about sensuality. My stories suffered. And because it was so new, so intense, and appealed to me on such a deep emotional (Not to mention new..) Level, I had to force myself, painfully so, to instead write about true love, rather than... wet, hot sex.
So, in that vein, and with advice from my best friend, I have decided to begin practicing a new form of drawing, layering over references and trying to draw my own thing. It beats doing the same thing but offhand, which often ends up badly proportioned. I am hoping it helps me to get better at digital. It is also especially challenging to substitute an anthropomorphic lupine visage for a human face, getting the spinal alignment right, the expressions. The result was partially cartoony, but I was pretty proud of the spirit of what I had drawn.
So expect to see some affectionate art from a past story, "Captain Jameson's final flight" where a human man crash lands on Sorren, the planet of lupine anthropomorphs. He is stranded, alone, and winter is coming. A lone renegade Naakaanee woman finds him, takes pity on him, and decides to save the strange hairless creature. They go on adventures, battle bad guys, and one day Marty Jameson realizes that he cares for Mitsee Longtail.
Anyway, expect to see some affectionate hugging art, as he realizes how much he loves her, and how much he has missed her, in a touching reunion scene. Perhaps he has come back from battle, worried about her, only to find her safe, as he cries tears of relief =) I may post the story too, why not.
If any artists want to give me some tips on using digital (I use SAI) I would greatly appreciate it!
And again, thanks for reading!!
So I lost something recently and it forced me to dig through all my old stuff, and I happened upon an old sketchbook. I decided to open it. (All of my sketchbooks have anthros... Maybe a space ship here and there)
Flipping through the pages I saw my meager but honest attempts to re- draw other people's art, and I felt the spirit behind it. It was so sweet, so innocent. Not that I am drawing "bad" stuff now, although I did draw a nude and one intimate scene (Drew it an hour ago lol) with no bits showing.
After I wrote my first love scene years ago, I remember walking down the dirt road and realizing that sex can be something beautiful... Not something that causes me shame. And that it is something I am "allowed" to experience with someone of the opposite sex, if that makes any sense. Something clean, pure, wonderful, even fun.
Because I guess up until this point in my life the majority of my sexual experiences were fairly awful, and when I was very, very young.
So, the intimate scene of a loving woman and the man who cared for her opened doors in my heart that should have been opened when I hit puberty, but were closed due to the shit that happened to me by people of the same sex, and even cruelty by the opposite sex.
I mentioned I drew an intimate scene not long ago, I got an older laptop that has stylus capabilities and I have been drawing with it fairly often.
In searching for reference art, I tried to find the most loving, caring, devoted, passionate things I can find... And sadly, there's not much out there.
Talking to my best friend, he said that American men are afraid of being called "Gay" if they show a tender, caring, loving side to western women. He cited an example of an ex of his... How utterly sad.
Don't women want men who will truly love them, and appreciate them, and be grateful they are in their lives? Or is that "gay"? How sad that men are not allowed to show any true affection, lest those afraid to confront their tender sides blurt out that they are gay.
Anyway, back to the original point. My art has become a lot more mature. Drawing this scene between a Naakaanee (anthro) woman and a human man was... Amazing, exciting, and dare I say, touching and beautiful. It left me with some pretty powerful emotions, some warm and sensual, others not so much.
Looking back at my earlier art, I am saddened to see that I have lost some of my innocence. Such as Walt Disney drawing hard core art of some of his characters, it's like... Well. I don't know. (I know that is out there but I just... Can't. Keep innocence.. Innocent.)
That said, seeing this affectionate, caring Naakaanee woman, her society based on the truest, purest love and devotion, seeing her so close to this man- not sure what story it will be from, perhaps the one I am writing now, but seeing them together like that, in true passion was simply... Wonderful.
It gave me hope for a wife who will care for me with a pure heart, one day. Who will love me the way I have been dying to be loved all of my life... Hoped, prayed, sacrificed. Brutally introspected with terrifying honesty, my own thoughts, motivations, even the darkness in my heart, all to become the man she wants to be vulnerable to.
In the picture, I experimented with her face, a bit. The expressions ranged from wildly passionate, to lustful, to playful, and finally, I settled on "Happy she is finally with a man who loves her, her heart unassuming, her love pure. Forged in the fires of adversity, he has proven his worthiness of such a maiden, a woman from a pure world untainted by human corruption. Finally, after years of waiting, of knowing one another, of growing fond, of building a lasting foundation that will endure for the remainder of their lives, he sheds his clothes, and she sheds hers. In nervous, but anxious anticipation, they discover what it means to be joined as one.
In short... it was wonderful. But it was also crossing a line. I have to be so careful... Like with writing my first love scene in my stories (it was 20 pages long! 30 if you format it like a novel!) soon every story became a reason for a sex scene, my characters lost their souls, and it became all about sensuality. My stories suffered. And because it was so new, so intense, and appealed to me on such a deep emotional (Not to mention new..) Level, I had to force myself, painfully so, to instead write about true love, rather than... wet, hot sex.
So, in that vein, and with advice from my best friend, I have decided to begin practicing a new form of drawing, layering over references and trying to draw my own thing. It beats doing the same thing but offhand, which often ends up badly proportioned. I am hoping it helps me to get better at digital. It is also especially challenging to substitute an anthropomorphic lupine visage for a human face, getting the spinal alignment right, the expressions. The result was partially cartoony, but I was pretty proud of the spirit of what I had drawn.
So expect to see some affectionate art from a past story, "Captain Jameson's final flight" where a human man crash lands on Sorren, the planet of lupine anthropomorphs. He is stranded, alone, and winter is coming. A lone renegade Naakaanee woman finds him, takes pity on him, and decides to save the strange hairless creature. They go on adventures, battle bad guys, and one day Marty Jameson realizes that he cares for Mitsee Longtail.
Anyway, expect to see some affectionate hugging art, as he realizes how much he loves her, and how much he has missed her, in a touching reunion scene. Perhaps he has come back from battle, worried about her, only to find her safe, as he cries tears of relief =) I may post the story too, why not.
If any artists want to give me some tips on using digital (I use SAI) I would greatly appreciate it!
And again, thanks for reading!!
On another note, unless you are writing a book where sex is the main subject, 30 pages for a love scene is way too long. Try cutting it down to no longer than a page and half if it is a pivotal moment in the book. Less can be more sometimes. Give the readers a chance to become invested in the story by filling in some of the blanks themselves.
And you are correct... My thirsty mind says I need to describe every juicy detail, but when I limit it, people tend to like it more lol. I get it down to a sentence or two about, usually "He made love to her" lol
Thank you <3