Hey, guys.

Okay; just to get this out of the way, the reason why I'm writing this journal is so that A) I can realize my mistakes and learn from them, and B) let the friends I made here so far realize that I can be open about my feelings and situations going on in my life without having to be an attention hoar. But in all honesty, it would be nice to talk. lol.

Anyways, if you read my last Journal entry, I have been working on a web series film project scheduled to start shooting in a week or two that I wrote, and planning on directing/acting in. And months in advance, the female lead - who is a very good friend of mine - agreed to play the role opposite of mine, since we have that connection already (for those of you confused after looking at my favorites here, I'm bi XD).

However, it seems that lately my work and time and effort seeing this show become a reality has taken over all aspects of my prioritizing. So when I got in touch with her to make sure she had everything in order, she tells me that she might not be able to participate mainly because she had a kidney infection and was in a lot of pain.

Now the reason why I feel so bad was that I didn't react the way a true caring friend would react, which was to make sure she was okay and catering to her if she needed anything from me. In a way, you can say that I kinda freaked out as to where I was going to find another female lead this close to shooting. And after realizing this, I felt absolutely horrible. The fact that I truly care for her like this and I'm thinking about the role of a show more than her actual welfare just made me realize what could possibly happen to me if I allowed my work or my dedication to escalate if not made tamed.

But anyways, I made sure that I made myself available to her. And to prove to myself that I care more about her than the show, I canceled the shooting of the promotional footage and the photo shoots for any of the Anime conventions we were going to advertise to make myself available for her. The infection is definitely clearing up and she will be able to participate in the actual shooting of the show. It's just that I had no idea that I could lose track of my main priorities.

Anyways, thanks for listening, guys. Your words and the fact that you're reading this really means a lot to me. Like I said before; I made some good friends here since I decided to get out of my shell a bit. I'll catch you all later.