So, I finally grew up and accepted who I am. For the longest time I have denied myself of the things I thought must be crazy, the way I felt, the things that were happening in my life and the types of people who kept showing up. About a month or so ago I was going through what most would call the worst depression one could imagine, my eating habits went to null, my motivation was shit, and I just did not want to exist. I had been experiencing things that seemed out of this world but I have always known they were part of who I was. I was sick sick sick, from my non acknowledgment of who I am as a soul and letting so many take parts of me and use my own self to better them, though really it changed no one. Those I sought to help just fell right back into the same patterns and some even worse. I now realize that I was not helping them at all but just enabling others to continue on their own paths of destruction and hanging out with them in the burning house they refuse to leave. I came out of the depression with a new sense of peace, understanding, and a new attitude. I continue to care about others, though I no longer have a want to give myself to make others feel better, that is not my job. I must be me, and I accept that they must be them. When people want to change they will. If not then there is nothing anyone can do to truly help them. Some would call what I went through a spiritual awakening. Feeling others feeling is a weird concept, having spirits visit is a weird thing to have happen, and knowing that spirit guides really are there and will "poke" you is a strange sensation but I have that stuff happen. I lost a friend in the process of freeing my soul. I was trying to do the same old agree and comfort that I had done for the longest time, and then I just snapped. My soul fought back and called BS on some things that made the person upset. While I do feel bad the way it happened, I know that it needed to happen, not just for me but for them. I know they are a happier person when we are not in contact, talking to me just drew up bad memories, angry feeling and they are trying to live a new better life than when we first came in contact. I will always remember them and hope that their life is happy. I have always just wanted that for people, for them to be free and happy. Moving forward is a mystery for me. So much growth to be done, so much healing to be done, and so much more freedom is to be had. I am not on here much these days as the want and desire to do so has gone to nil. To talk to me pm me, and I will get to you when I am about. I hope all of you have beautiful lives, live without the fear of being judged, and have love in your hearts.

sincerely
MJ