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Yesterday
19 years ago
General
I screwed up.
Its amazing how fast one can become a monster, and the thing they hate the most.
Getting frustrated blinds you, then fills you with such malice and content, til your thoughts turn dark. I though i had a handle on my demons.
Apparently I was wrong. Yesterday I allowed myself to get frustrated and I said things I did not mean. I only told half the story and got mad at others. I know there is little chance of reconciliation at this point.
I wont drag the garbage out into the street, instead I give a general description.
I Rped in a group, and was doing fine. Then I started to screw up. I was offered help and only used part of it. this led to being ignored, and this frustrated me, which led to more mistakes, Eventually I was ignored completely. I tried to reset and start anew, but the animosity had set in and it was in Vain, I screwed up and eventually got kicked out. My leaving caused more strife and pain.. I Tried to re enter, (which now i see as desperate and hopeless) and tried everything i could think of.
Needless to say It failed.
Then I got into an argument with a friend and insulted him to a level that is unforgivable.
Thats what led to my brash Journal yesterday, which is coming down as soon as this one goes up.
I am sorry.
I screwed up.
There is nothing I can do to show my true remorse. So I will say nothing more.
Live your life, Be safe, and have fun.
I am not proud of what I have done.
Its amazing how fast one can become a monster, and the thing they hate the most.
Getting frustrated blinds you, then fills you with such malice and content, til your thoughts turn dark. I though i had a handle on my demons.
Apparently I was wrong. Yesterday I allowed myself to get frustrated and I said things I did not mean. I only told half the story and got mad at others. I know there is little chance of reconciliation at this point.
I wont drag the garbage out into the street, instead I give a general description.
I Rped in a group, and was doing fine. Then I started to screw up. I was offered help and only used part of it. this led to being ignored, and this frustrated me, which led to more mistakes, Eventually I was ignored completely. I tried to reset and start anew, but the animosity had set in and it was in Vain, I screwed up and eventually got kicked out. My leaving caused more strife and pain.. I Tried to re enter, (which now i see as desperate and hopeless) and tried everything i could think of.
Needless to say It failed.
Then I got into an argument with a friend and insulted him to a level that is unforgivable.
Thats what led to my brash Journal yesterday, which is coming down as soon as this one goes up.
I am sorry.
I screwed up.
There is nothing I can do to show my true remorse. So I will say nothing more.
Live your life, Be safe, and have fun.
I am not proud of what I have done.
You've done the polite and correct thing. Hopefully everyone can move on now.
I apologize to everyone i caused problems for. I only hope that a few years from now that this will just be a bad memory and i can become friends again.