It's well known I'm a lazy writer. That stablishes that I decide to write a journal each blue moon. Tonight is one of those blue moons, approaching the fact to make this journal the last of 2018 here in my profile. The intention of this writing is to make a final vent with my personal thoughts, feelings and experiences this year has let me.

I must confess. I -HATED- this year, for real guts. Can't exactly say if this is the worst year I ever had, since there are others which worse situations that still linger inside me. But I'm confident to say how fucking awful this year was cause most of the time it was filled with crap.

Back in Summer I finally learned to give everyrhing I had for achieving the worst posibility in any issue, cause giving it a cause to go on is more pathetic than just giving up like a real man. Several non sleep hours, days, even weeks for appealing a mere feeling of self satisfaction that would be broken once I begin a new task

A person who I fell in love for, almost left me for granted, letting me question if I must go on as an artist, as a human being. Still offering this heart of mine just to see them smile once more. All because there is people that believe that smile is worth everything, a smile that's never yours or mine.

Friends that abandoned me when we wee destined to be closer by the time we get to know each other better. Just a gentle reminder that I don't deserve happines just by giving it to other people that barely know I exist.

It's difficult, real difficult for me to last until the December 31st as these things are still a reality to me. Somehow I'm here, and I'm still here. Thankful for not this shit of a ride that has been the year 2018, but for the people that has joined me

Yeah, it was a sucky year, but I also lived. I lived the best experiences outside (and inside xD) my confort zone, experimenting with new people I met on the road, knowing new stories and falling in love with other ones. I also found my newest fandoms and motives to keep myself making new art for the days to come.

So, in conclussion, I'm waiting real bad for the last night of the year. Cause I don't know if it's going to be the last one I witness, cause this year is going to be finally over, cause it's a beginning for a new life, and because the only way I can go... is forward.

For 2019

-C