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Am I giving my dogs too much affection?
6 years ago
Hi,
I was thinking the other day... I give my dogs kisses, smooches, hugs, cuddles and snuggles, talk baby talk, tell them I love them, and always try and show them affection when they are around me.
I am trying to reorient my mind and heart and soul and spirit to as reality-based as possible... In doing so, it has come to my attention that at the basest of understanding, dogs are merely an animal that guards our homes, barking when something is amiss. To be fed the same food until their short lifespan is over. To not be shown much affection at all, because it is a limited use animal, and not a human being, who has more dimensions of personality.
Now, I understand this view. It is not incorrect. But if it is not wrong, then why am I so in love with my dogs? Why do I show them undue affection, and squee simply because they exist...
Then this morning it came to me.
If one of my dogs, or both, ran into a burning house and dragged me out before I burned to death, would I not shower that pooch, or both pooches, with undue affection until the day they passed on? Would I not do this??? Wouldn't anyone?
Well. I am a very sensitive empath, I am sensitive to some spiritual things that some other people can not sense or feel. (It can be a huge curse, and has caused me a great deal of grief until I learned to even try to control it and not get flooded with overwhelming emotions of all kinds) I also live alone. I have been hurt horribly by the opposite sex. I have been hurt by the same sex. So I am enjoying the freedom of being single, and have been for some time.
When I am near my dogs, or hugging them, or in bed when they curl up on either side of me and push themselves up against me, as I toss and turn throughout the night, there is a pup on each side, that I can lay my arm on and hug, or stretch my arm out underneath, nuzzling them or even giving them a smooch and saying what a good boy or good girl they are, while making exaggerated kissing noises... I *feel* such a pure, selfless, wonderful spirit from them. It literally calms my spirit down, puts me at ease, causes me to sigh, and relax. It is almost involuntary. I know these babies will never, ever hurt me.
So, in effect, I do live in soul crushing loneliness... Right now the alternative to that loneliness is actually worse than that loneliness. But, in being alone, I must also endure the loneliness. So if these wonderful, gentle rescue babies, my pups, my doggos, my pooches provide my vexed soul with comfort, with a reason to go home, even sometimes a reason to keep pushing on, to keep going in life, do these dogs not pull me out of the fire on a daily basis?
And if so, then, are they not due all the affection, appreciation, and gratitude I can provide?
Food for thought, I hope, guys :3
I was thinking the other day... I give my dogs kisses, smooches, hugs, cuddles and snuggles, talk baby talk, tell them I love them, and always try and show them affection when they are around me.
I am trying to reorient my mind and heart and soul and spirit to as reality-based as possible... In doing so, it has come to my attention that at the basest of understanding, dogs are merely an animal that guards our homes, barking when something is amiss. To be fed the same food until their short lifespan is over. To not be shown much affection at all, because it is a limited use animal, and not a human being, who has more dimensions of personality.
Now, I understand this view. It is not incorrect. But if it is not wrong, then why am I so in love with my dogs? Why do I show them undue affection, and squee simply because they exist...
Then this morning it came to me.
If one of my dogs, or both, ran into a burning house and dragged me out before I burned to death, would I not shower that pooch, or both pooches, with undue affection until the day they passed on? Would I not do this??? Wouldn't anyone?
Well. I am a very sensitive empath, I am sensitive to some spiritual things that some other people can not sense or feel. (It can be a huge curse, and has caused me a great deal of grief until I learned to even try to control it and not get flooded with overwhelming emotions of all kinds) I also live alone. I have been hurt horribly by the opposite sex. I have been hurt by the same sex. So I am enjoying the freedom of being single, and have been for some time.
When I am near my dogs, or hugging them, or in bed when they curl up on either side of me and push themselves up against me, as I toss and turn throughout the night, there is a pup on each side, that I can lay my arm on and hug, or stretch my arm out underneath, nuzzling them or even giving them a smooch and saying what a good boy or good girl they are, while making exaggerated kissing noises... I *feel* such a pure, selfless, wonderful spirit from them. It literally calms my spirit down, puts me at ease, causes me to sigh, and relax. It is almost involuntary. I know these babies will never, ever hurt me.
So, in effect, I do live in soul crushing loneliness... Right now the alternative to that loneliness is actually worse than that loneliness. But, in being alone, I must also endure the loneliness. So if these wonderful, gentle rescue babies, my pups, my doggos, my pooches provide my vexed soul with comfort, with a reason to go home, even sometimes a reason to keep pushing on, to keep going in life, do these dogs not pull me out of the fire on a daily basis?
And if so, then, are they not due all the affection, appreciation, and gratitude I can provide?
Food for thought, I hope, guys :3
I believe that it is totally ok to show affection for your pets, even being simpler creatures they have intelligence and perception and are great to help dealing with loneliness as you change your focus from yourself and put it on them. Only thing that might be good to consider is to have their company but stay open for more meaningful ones, something hard to find but still possible.
Yes I am trying to get out a little more, attend a Bible study, things like that. I know I have to trust and be vulnerable again.
I took the time to read what you wrote to Peter and I can relate to a great extent of what you said, except for the freedom part, something I don't have (art comes to help with this problem).
Truly hoping you'll be able to find someone to spend quality and meaningful time with, I like to believe that the best things come to those who wait so keep doing your thing and being positive that the universe will conspire for the best to happen =).
- Peter
So until that day I am just going to take my puppies with me camping in my sweet camper van, and enjoy the heck out of being single, because if there is a woman out there for me, she is going to have to be one in a million, exceptional, for me to give up my freedom, my money, my rights, and all of the other things men do not think about when they get married. I have been watching a lot of MGTOW videos and they are really helping with the loneliness... I also, for the first time, realized that my last GF, whom I loved so dearly, was actually a piece of sh*t and a horrible human being, even though she called herself a "good" person. She was awful!
Thank GOD I did not have sex with her or marry her. I would be SCREWED today if I did! And I loved her so freaking much! I am in the service industry, I do plumbing, electrical, welding, and some general construction. I get so many women throwing themselves at me... I have been told I am handsome, I am tall, strong, etc. I have many vehicles, land, own a successful business. I have a soft heart that women are attracted to. But I am so sick of women coming after me! Like I am some kind of piece of meat! Because I was born male and am breathing I must be interested, right? So I now wear a wedding ring. This gives me an out.
"Sorry, I am married." I can say, now. I have told my clients "I took the family out camping..." my "Family" of two dogs XD Anyway man I am beginning to doubt of God has someone for me, maybe my standards are too high, but the stakes for marriage are so incredibly deadly these days, unless I can have the one in a million I am just not going to settle. Men have actually committed suicide over a failed marriage, and 80% of divorces are filed by women!!! Who is to say she just "Doesn't feel loved one day..." And takes my heart, my money, my home... It's far too risky these days unless God sets it up and we are both beholden to the Lord.
That is the only way I think it can last. I have been with women who are unforgiving, who remember every wrong thing you ever did or said, who feel entitled, who take my affection for granted, who are proud, who despise logic, who are not temperate, who have never taken accountability for anything they have ever said or done. I'm sorry but I just cannot be paired with something or someone like that. I have been hurt so terribly in the past... I also will not be responsible for bringing a child into this world, so I do not want kids, although I know they can be a blessing.
So unless love at first sight occurs, I am going to camp like the world is ending, love my pooches, and be totally happy I am single =D I also have been asking God to help me deal with the loneliness and He has definitely been answering my prayers :)
- Peter
V.
It seems like they feel you are in their pack, don't you think? I feel they are an amazing example of what it means to love one another. They are never offended and are always happy to see you after your absence. They are a man's best friend. I dunno, what do you think? Do you feel guilty of how you're treating them? Just remember to make sure they know you're the alpha. I hear that's very important. Bark.
I also do understand that sexual intimacy between a human and an animal is absolutely unacceptable and is incredibly harmful to both the human and the animal. So that is also a factor. But, what I *DO* get from my dog babies is wonderful, priceless, and unparalleled. Ask yourself this, can a wife even love her husband with the intensity a dog loves their master all the days of their life?
Yes, they definitely feel I am in their pack. It is a contract between us, they need to feel safe around me, and if I reciprocate their affection not only with snuggles and pets, but spiritually, something they can feel (See my most recent wolf pictures, these wolves see my spirit and know they are safe around me) I understand that even though many humans are numb to it, wolves and dogs are HIGHLY (Cats too) spiritually in tune with our essences. It is a matter of survival... How does an animal know a person won't show them affection, only to kill it terribly? The animal kingdom has had to hone their skills throughout the years we have existed, because they cannot speak, and do not inherently understand verbal human language.
We have had wolves who absolutely refused to allow people into their enclosures, pressing against the gate so that it could not be opened. We had to refuse those people... Now, what made the wolves do that? The wolves don't even see the people as they come in. The people weren't saying anything wrong, no, the wolves "Saw" something in them that they knew was wrong, or evil.
At the time I was going to the wolf sanctuary, I was very disturbed and had a ton of wrong beliefs, not only with wolves, but spiritually, even sexually. Half of the wolves wanted nothing to do with me, I believe, because I was not "right". Now that my Creator has been sorting me out and helping me to better understand the world around me, and myself, I am much healthier, especially inside, and animals are not as innately afraid of me, in some cases. In most cases animals love me and approach me freely, and I love it. But in some cases where animals seem afraid of me, I always wondered why, but it is wrong/hostile thinking/beliefs. I have endured so, so, so much in this life.
If I were to state everything I have survived even as a little child you wouldn't believe me (Most likely). Having survived these things, terrible things, I was forced to absorb them into my undeveloped and immature psyche and it twisted me horribly inside, but this was my reality. I coped with it in unhealthy ways, and now my days are spent un learning the toxic behavior I held onto with such ferocity.
In short I am looking for a woman who has endured the hell that I have, but was brave enough to introspect into herself, and with the aid of her Creator, allowed her heart, mind, and soul to be cut apart and re- formed into the person she was meant to be had she of been raised in an ideal home, loved healthily, and learned to love healthily. I am looking for the one in the million... One in a billion, in a trillion. It is lonely, hoping for this, yes, but I have given my heat to enough women to know that the reward for putting up with immature, intemperate, entitled women is not worth the reward of doing such. In short it will hurt me worse to have a SO than it hurts to be alone.
If you are brave, go to youtube and type MGTOW. Watch some of the videos. Granted, a lot of these men are bitter, angry, and hurt, and rightfully so, and I do not agree with all of their opinions, especially punishing women when they realize they have made a mistake. If you do not agree with the movement, that is fine. But that is the truth that I embrace, at least, in part.
Glad things are improving for you compared to your childhood. If it's okay to be bold with you—and please do let me know if you're not okay with this kind of forwardness—I suggest not being too specific in your search for the right woman. You should find one who will love you for who you are. It is your choice though.