It's been forever since I've posted here, but here goes nothing.

With the way my dysphoria and body dysmorphia has made me feel about myself over the past few years, I've come to think it's possible that I may be transgender or transfeminine. Thinking about it at first made me anxious, nervous, in disbelief; I thought I had it figured out.

I've never considered that I might be transgender despite the fact that I identify as genderfluid and have dysphoria and body dysmorphia on top of it. It's hard to know that you think you have yourself figured out and then have something like this fall on you.

There's no doubt in my mind that whatever I decide, I can't turn back to where I was before, even less so if I decide to pursue HRT. One thing is for sure, meeting with someone at Central Wellness today was possibly the best thing I've ever done for myself. It gave me a lot to think about and now I have to figure out where to go from here and what I may want to get out of it now that I do.

I won't lie, I am a little scared of what events could occur over the next several months. I'm self conscious as it is about my appearance, but I'll test the waters at Anthrocon and see where things go. I'm at a crossroads; now I wonder which way I'll go.