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Personal Update!
6 years ago
God it's been a while.
So I've been doing a therapy for the past few months, and I've managed to find someone really special. The actual perfect therapist fit, which I never thought I'd find, for both my past family stuff and the road I have ahead of me as a trans man.
The hardest thing is confronting the bitterness and grief I have over a lot of things that have happened the past few years -- the what-if's of a life path that might have been, if I hadn't lost my father, if I hadn't sunk into a deep depression. And instead of pulling myself up, the inner monologue is often cruel, and utterly unforgiving of my mistakes.
The only way for me to get back on track is to create, and yet these thoughts make it painful and difficult, and I've seen little point in putting myself out there to provide for you all while I'm struggling so much.
So that's what I'm working on. Changing that inner dialogue. "Have Mercy on yourself," is something I've been trying so hard to do for so long, and with therapy I'm finally putting myself in a position where I have the professional support to do so. That can only make it easier right?
And along the way, I have a few projects that I'm keeping up with -- I've been running a D&D game on Sundays and participating in 4 more. I've been doing art of some of those characters and epic moments, and for the first time I completed a 21-day daily drawing challenge themed around D&D prompts. I'll be posting my favorites of those probably, but I'm going to try to not spam you guys with too much human content unless it's NSFW.
All my SFW stuff I put on my Deviantart over here: https://www.deviantart.com/saint-sputnik
My active characters in tabletop right now are:
Nicolai Holt - a Level 19 Neutral Evil Hellbred Fighter, Scion of the King of Devils, trying to gather artifacts to open a door to a wish machine and hopefully save the world from an extraplanar threat.
Saffaen Clade - a Level 10 Neutral Good human Paladin of Sarenrae, she's sworn an Oath of Vengeance against Demons to avenge her fallen mentor.
Barnaby Briggs - a Level 5 Neutral Good human Fighter, he's a former Captain of the Guard on the run, framed for the murder of the lord he loved & served.
Gerel the Gravewarden - a Level 7 Lawful Good Hengeyokai Grave Domain Cleric, a servant of the three dragon goddesses of Time/Fate/Destiny, she's sworn to uphold the balance of life and death.
and I guess I can also count Garrett Galatyne since he's the chief NPC of the game I run - a Level 9 human Paladin of Ragathiel, who has sworn an Oath Against Corruption to fight the aberrations rising from the sea.
I'm working on a project with this studio that I'm a part of, so go give the page some love, there'll be progress up there regularly!
I'm still holding off on officially opening commissions with that project on my plate, but I'll let you guys know soon how that's affecting my available time.
But yeah! I'd love to hear from you guys, I hope your 2019 is treating you well. Got any cool tabletop stories/characters you'd like to share?
So I've been doing a therapy for the past few months, and I've managed to find someone really special. The actual perfect therapist fit, which I never thought I'd find, for both my past family stuff and the road I have ahead of me as a trans man.
The hardest thing is confronting the bitterness and grief I have over a lot of things that have happened the past few years -- the what-if's of a life path that might have been, if I hadn't lost my father, if I hadn't sunk into a deep depression. And instead of pulling myself up, the inner monologue is often cruel, and utterly unforgiving of my mistakes.
The only way for me to get back on track is to create, and yet these thoughts make it painful and difficult, and I've seen little point in putting myself out there to provide for you all while I'm struggling so much.
So that's what I'm working on. Changing that inner dialogue. "Have Mercy on yourself," is something I've been trying so hard to do for so long, and with therapy I'm finally putting myself in a position where I have the professional support to do so. That can only make it easier right?
And along the way, I have a few projects that I'm keeping up with -- I've been running a D&D game on Sundays and participating in 4 more. I've been doing art of some of those characters and epic moments, and for the first time I completed a 21-day daily drawing challenge themed around D&D prompts. I'll be posting my favorites of those probably, but I'm going to try to not spam you guys with too much human content unless it's NSFW.
All my SFW stuff I put on my Deviantart over here: https://www.deviantart.com/saint-sputnik
My active characters in tabletop right now are:
Nicolai Holt - a Level 19 Neutral Evil Hellbred Fighter, Scion of the King of Devils, trying to gather artifacts to open a door to a wish machine and hopefully save the world from an extraplanar threat.
Saffaen Clade - a Level 10 Neutral Good human Paladin of Sarenrae, she's sworn an Oath of Vengeance against Demons to avenge her fallen mentor.
Barnaby Briggs - a Level 5 Neutral Good human Fighter, he's a former Captain of the Guard on the run, framed for the murder of the lord he loved & served.
Gerel the Gravewarden - a Level 7 Lawful Good Hengeyokai Grave Domain Cleric, a servant of the three dragon goddesses of Time/Fate/Destiny, she's sworn to uphold the balance of life and death.
and I guess I can also count Garrett Galatyne since he's the chief NPC of the game I run - a Level 9 human Paladin of Ragathiel, who has sworn an Oath Against Corruption to fight the aberrations rising from the sea.
I'm working on a project with this studio that I'm a part of, so go give the page some love, there'll be progress up there regularly!
I'm still holding off on officially opening commissions with that project on my plate, but I'll let you guys know soon how that's affecting my available time.
But yeah! I'd love to hear from you guys, I hope your 2019 is treating you well. Got any cool tabletop stories/characters you'd like to share?
Hope you're doin' well as well!
I'm working on a build for him in 5E and Pathfinder. I don't know which D&D system I want to bring him in to, but I'll be prepared. Definitely a Sorc or Warlock -- but he's gotta be lightning-based. Those are the rules!
I guess you're right, about the learning curve -- I was about to say a piece but then I realized that I've been playing tabletop as a regular hobby for 7-ish years.
I do remember my first game in each system I know was a slog. I think the key is to not play a super serious or long campaign for your first game.
First Pathfinder game I played was an absolute DISASTER. I played a Half-Orc Witch, so I tried to learn the spell casting system while learning the game rules themselves, and my team thought I was playing a healer instead of a fire mage and we all nearly died to our first enemy: a swarm of giant crabs that was far above our level. Our DM was also a complete newbie so didn't know how to balance encounters
We were playing in a big conference room, projecting our map grid on a white board and with the biggest coincidental stroke of luck, this one random nerd was walking by, saw how we were struggling and said, "Hey I've got a Level 17 Cleric I can bring in, it looks like you guys need serious help." So we tagged in this total stranger and he carried us through our first dungeon, then we literally never saw this person again for the rest of the time we lived in that dorm. A high-level Saint come outta nowhere to bail us out lmaooooo
It's just one of those things where you have to take the failures in total stride as you learn, because worst case, you at least get some hilarious stories to tell!