Hey everybunny!! It's been quite a while and I apologize for my absence. I’m here to make an update and let you all know what's been going on with me and commission work. First please let me make it clear that I did not give up on commissions and wasn't just not doing them. I take my work very very seriously and I respect and appreciate each and every one of my commissioners greatly. So I hope none of this sounds like a big excuse. Not being able to work as often as I once was able to was eating away at me.

So for the past year many things have been going on in my life. Some goo! Most not. A while ago I was diagnosed with a fibroid tumor. So far at least one from what they could see from the ultrasounds. These tumors are benign in that they aren’t cancerous but the cause me debilitating pain and excess bleeding. I also found out that it’s inside the muscle of my uterus which means surgery could lead to fertility problems however not getting it out could lead to the same thing. But I can’t afford the surgery regardless. I have also recently been diagnosed with endometriosis. Which for a while that was always kind of our suspicion since I’ve always had problems with those parts of my body ever since I got my first period but it’s only gotten worse. Endometriosis also causes me debilitating pain but now it’s on a daily basis and combined with the fibroid it’s like.. A really neat hate party in my guts. For a while I was on and off pain medication because my state is very conservative in that sort of thing and the doctors hate prescribing it so I’ve been cut off cold turkey many times which I’m sure most of you know that’s very dangerous and feels horrible. Some wonderful news though is that this year I tried an alternative medication and it’s wonderful. I can say that it’s kind of saved my life at this point since my doctor had once again cut me cold turkey from my pain meds and my anti anxiety medication. Being on it I almost never feel my pain anymore and my anxiety is so much more manageable.

Another bit of goo news is that since i’ve been managing my anxiety and depression so much better I’ve actually been leaving my house frequently and hanging out with a close friend and their family. It’s been a long struggle with physical and mental illnesses but at this point in my life I can really say that I’m getting better. At least with the mental health but I am working on the physical as well. I even make my own appointments now and can actually go to them. C: Besides all that I have been having a problem with terrible fatigue and stomach issues lately. I was scheduled for another ultrasound and lab work but my insurance so far has said no. This is still a hurtle I’m trying to overcome but I’m working on it.

The last bit of news is that my grandmother is not well. Which is to say the least. She’s dying is what I really mean. She’s been deteriorating for a few years now and has almost died and DID actually die multiple times now. I swear to G this woman.. Now however she’s even worse and the reason she’s in this position is because she absolutely refuses to do anything the doctors tell her which is so frustrating. She has a brain tumor, lung and heart disease, diabetes, multiple infections, malnourished, stomach blockage, gallbladder disease, and recently discovered pancreatic cancer. If you know anything about pancreatic cancer it is devastating. Cancer in general is but pancreatic cancer just destroys you. It’s a very very painful experience and ruins your body rapidly. Among all of this she has even more problems though that is her biggest. When she got the test results back? She said it wasn't’ real. She does this EVERYTIME. Her and my papa both. She actually punched her doctor in the leg and got mad at him for telling her that. She refuses to go in for any sort of treatment for any of it. It’s unbearably frustrating. On top of that her mentality is also deteriorating as well and she is not the same person she once was. She.. to be honest barely acts like a person. She has become one of the most hateful and abusive people I’ve ever know. Even before she was sick she was.. Not the nicest person but now it’s extreme. Watching her do the things she does to my family makes me sick. I never thought in my whole life I’d have to go through anything like this or that someone I loved so much would become like this. I’m sorry that become a bit of a rant. To anyone else who has ever had to deal with this with a family member or friend I’m so so sorry. It’s a nightmare.

Again I hope this doesn’t sound like a giant excuses to not work. I adore being an artist and doing commissions for people. Being able to give someone a product that I made and see them be so happy brings me the greatest joy and I am so grateful to all of you. I wouldn’t not not do my job for no reason. Not as a professional. Not as an artist. Not as a friend and not as a person. Finding the time and the inspiration to create while going through all of this was so hard. I have been drawing some on and off and recently this week I got back into the swing of things and I have some things to post. I am truly sorry for this inconvenience and I hope you all can forgive me. I also hope you’re all doing well! I’ve missed you guys!

♥ Mama B