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★MY PAST & HARASSMENT OVER IT PSA
6 years ago
Hey everyone!
Hope everyones having a good day, feelin good, doing good. Ya'll know I appreciate your support and as I get ready to start getting adspace on
the regular, and start expanding my userbase both on here and on social media sites such as Instagram and Twitter (of which I will be posting soonish) I wanted to clear the air on a few things
as I've had a few days to think about an interaction where someone went to a dear close friend of mine and decided to link them callout posts from ArtistBeware.info , and had they not known
me as well as they do and had we not had a calm conversation about it as I've never directly hid anything I used to be from ANY of my friends the past 3 years, I thought it was time to let all of
my lovely followers onboard especially as I've just cleaned house in my inbox and organized everything to continue to improve and get over a small relapse of behavior I had for about 3 months
from November of last year to January/tiny bit of Febuary here on THIS account.
I used to be an artist on other accounts, and via tumblr, where over 4 years ago I was a very different person in survival mode that didn't give a damn about anyone or anything besides what made
me happy in that exact moment because life was awful as I was basically homeless for the better part of two years after having escaped a situation where I was being physically and emotionally/verbally abused
since I was about 16.
Now this may seem like too much information for ya'll, but considering this isn't the first time and I'm sure not the LAST that someone's harassed my friends and hounded me trying to point and jump and scream
"BUT LOOK WHAT A BASTARD SHE IS OMG SHUN HER SHES EVIIIIIIIIIIIL" and I'm sure it won't be the last I decided to put it out in the open for everyone who follows me to see, and once this is no longer featured after a couple
of days, I'll be linking it as a forever sidenote on my 'about me' section on my profile so we can lay this shit to rest.
NOW TO BE FAIR TO THESE PEOPLE THAT HAVE SOMETHING STUCK IN THEIR CRAW ABOUT ME.
I was a genuinely, truly, selfish, narcicistic, evil fucking person several years ago and it was only with the help of my very best friend in the entire universe and our inner circle of friends irl that helped pull me out of it and make a change for myself.
When Im in a heavy, near-suicidal depression spiral I ALSO start acting that way, and that happened for me recently about November to January/Febuary because stress and irl personal bullshit with my family kept piling up in
extraordinarily awful ways.
Now I'd like to state I've had MOSTLY positive interactions with commissioners over the last three years, there have been times, like mentioned before, where I've truly lost my temper with someone or I've let my stress/ADD get the better
of me and just been disorganized too. And this little purge/PSA is a part of that continually healthier journey forward I make every day even when I slip up sometimes.
Hilariously, for all the people I've wronged before or who hate me, or who have just really taken personally a bad experience with me, I'd like to point out nobody on this planet judges me more harshly for my behavior than me. I will, and have recently,
hyperventilate myself into an asthma attack because I get so stressed over wether or not I'm acting like the old me who used people to survive and meet my goals and didn't actually connect with them on a deep trustworthy level and only had surface friendships
because of it.
I AM NOT LIKE THAT NOW because I try to keep my professional and personal life as seperate as I can and am trying to keep both my depression and ADD (which is one of the reasons I'm sometimes bad at organization even now) in check.
But, quel dommage, no one is perfect and here's an account of the things I've done wrong that were recorded on Artist Beware so that none of the petty assholes that continually try to hound my streams/friendslist can say I'm hiding from this shit and not being
accountable of my own actions (I have been and even the two more recent fuckups where I lost my temper both times) and learning from them to be better and will CONTINUE to do better both privately and professionally.
A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y
★Old Usernames:: lo-la (was just trying a different username out)
Phaet (This is where some of the awful shit happened :D)
orangepekoe (This also has awful shit because it was almost entirely friend drama based :D )
Momo (nickname on Tumblr) Ditto to above because I ran pekoe here and momo on tumblr
★https://artistsbeware.info/beware/s.....angepekoe-r42/
^^^ As a sidenote, I tried to refund this twice, and both times it was bounced back to me because they refused to take the refund although the beware on my behavior and how I handled that situation still stands. This is a fair beware tbh.
★There's no link for this currently BUT YALL REMEMBER THAT TIME MY ART GOT STOLEN BY A CLIENT WHO TRACED THE SKETCH I SENT THEM AND I REPURPOSED IT INTO A YCH AFTER REFUNDING THEM CUZ THEY WERE A CUNT OVER DISCORD TO HALF
MY FRIENDS AND WAS TRANSPHOBIC TO MY BESTIE
Blurrybear DIRECTLY BUT I DONT POST ABOUT THAT SIDE OF THINGS ON CALLOUT POSTS CUZ IM A FUCKIN LADY?
★Yeah that'll be the only other beware I've had on me in 3 years and they both happened within like a month of eachother cuz it was during the bad time, BUT TBQH I KINDA STAND BY THE SECOND ONE?!?!?!
Like call me a bitch but if you get immediately aggressive with me and shittalk my friends then yeah, even while I refund you I'm gonna be a massive dick right on back to you. I stand by that one and would do it again TBQH.
★Also apparently they're archiving their stuff cuz they moved? So I'll update this with links calling myself out when available?
★Literally the only other ones I know of before that are like 3+ years old so I've no idea what they have in them besides a general 'oof Baas was kind of a raging cunt and had absolutely zero customer service as opposed to the usually good but sometimes crap cuz of memory issues kind now' incidents.
Like belive me, I'm gonna reread them when they're up and archived, but I'm positive theres some really egregious behavior from back then and if I could honestly track down and remember the passwords for ANY of those accounts, and track down one by one the people I fucked over or didn't end up refunding,
I would systematically do that and refund them to make it somewhat right.
★ALSO NOT A BEWARE, THIS IS A PERSONAL CALLOUT ON MYSELF FOR THE TIMEFRAME BETWEEN NOVEMBER AND FEBUARY OF 2018/2019, BUT I'VE BEEN SUPER BAD WITH MY DEPRESSION SPIRAL AND LET MYSELF GET INTENSELY DISORGANIZED, MISPLACED A BUNCHA FILES AND SHIT, WAS UNMOTIVATED
TO WORK ON ANYTHING FROM THAT TIME PERIOD BECAUSE OF THE ASSOCIATION AND HAVE ALREADY SENT OUT NOTES FOR REFUNDS TO RESOLVE THE ISSUES.
Hope everyones having a good day, feelin good, doing good. Ya'll know I appreciate your support and as I get ready to start getting adspace on
the regular, and start expanding my userbase both on here and on social media sites such as Instagram and Twitter (of which I will be posting soonish) I wanted to clear the air on a few things
as I've had a few days to think about an interaction where someone went to a dear close friend of mine and decided to link them callout posts from ArtistBeware.info , and had they not known
me as well as they do and had we not had a calm conversation about it as I've never directly hid anything I used to be from ANY of my friends the past 3 years, I thought it was time to let all of
my lovely followers onboard especially as I've just cleaned house in my inbox and organized everything to continue to improve and get over a small relapse of behavior I had for about 3 months
from November of last year to January/tiny bit of Febuary here on THIS account.
I used to be an artist on other accounts, and via tumblr, where over 4 years ago I was a very different person in survival mode that didn't give a damn about anyone or anything besides what made
me happy in that exact moment because life was awful as I was basically homeless for the better part of two years after having escaped a situation where I was being physically and emotionally/verbally abused
since I was about 16.
Now this may seem like too much information for ya'll, but considering this isn't the first time and I'm sure not the LAST that someone's harassed my friends and hounded me trying to point and jump and scream
"BUT LOOK WHAT A BASTARD SHE IS OMG SHUN HER SHES EVIIIIIIIIIIIL" and I'm sure it won't be the last I decided to put it out in the open for everyone who follows me to see, and once this is no longer featured after a couple
of days, I'll be linking it as a forever sidenote on my 'about me' section on my profile so we can lay this shit to rest.
NOW TO BE FAIR TO THESE PEOPLE THAT HAVE SOMETHING STUCK IN THEIR CRAW ABOUT ME.
I was a genuinely, truly, selfish, narcicistic, evil fucking person several years ago and it was only with the help of my very best friend in the entire universe and our inner circle of friends irl that helped pull me out of it and make a change for myself.
When Im in a heavy, near-suicidal depression spiral I ALSO start acting that way, and that happened for me recently about November to January/Febuary because stress and irl personal bullshit with my family kept piling up in
extraordinarily awful ways.
Now I'd like to state I've had MOSTLY positive interactions with commissioners over the last three years, there have been times, like mentioned before, where I've truly lost my temper with someone or I've let my stress/ADD get the better
of me and just been disorganized too. And this little purge/PSA is a part of that continually healthier journey forward I make every day even when I slip up sometimes.
Hilariously, for all the people I've wronged before or who hate me, or who have just really taken personally a bad experience with me, I'd like to point out nobody on this planet judges me more harshly for my behavior than me. I will, and have recently,
hyperventilate myself into an asthma attack because I get so stressed over wether or not I'm acting like the old me who used people to survive and meet my goals and didn't actually connect with them on a deep trustworthy level and only had surface friendships
because of it.
I AM NOT LIKE THAT NOW because I try to keep my professional and personal life as seperate as I can and am trying to keep both my depression and ADD (which is one of the reasons I'm sometimes bad at organization even now) in check.
But, quel dommage, no one is perfect and here's an account of the things I've done wrong that were recorded on Artist Beware so that none of the petty assholes that continually try to hound my streams/friendslist can say I'm hiding from this shit and not being
accountable of my own actions (I have been and even the two more recent fuckups where I lost my temper both times) and learning from them to be better and will CONTINUE to do better both privately and professionally.
A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y
★Old Usernames:: lo-la (was just trying a different username out)
Phaet (This is where some of the awful shit happened :D)
orangepekoe (This also has awful shit because it was almost entirely friend drama based :D )
Momo (nickname on Tumblr) Ditto to above because I ran pekoe here and momo on tumblr
★https://artistsbeware.info/beware/s.....angepekoe-r42/
^^^ As a sidenote, I tried to refund this twice, and both times it was bounced back to me because they refused to take the refund although the beware on my behavior and how I handled that situation still stands. This is a fair beware tbh.
★There's no link for this currently BUT YALL REMEMBER THAT TIME MY ART GOT STOLEN BY A CLIENT WHO TRACED THE SKETCH I SENT THEM AND I REPURPOSED IT INTO A YCH AFTER REFUNDING THEM CUZ THEY WERE A CUNT OVER DISCORD TO HALF
MY FRIENDS AND WAS TRANSPHOBIC TO MY BESTIE
Blurrybear DIRECTLY BUT I DONT POST ABOUT THAT SIDE OF THINGS ON CALLOUT POSTS CUZ IM A FUCKIN LADY? ★Yeah that'll be the only other beware I've had on me in 3 years and they both happened within like a month of eachother cuz it was during the bad time, BUT TBQH I KINDA STAND BY THE SECOND ONE?!?!?!
Like call me a bitch but if you get immediately aggressive with me and shittalk my friends then yeah, even while I refund you I'm gonna be a massive dick right on back to you. I stand by that one and would do it again TBQH.
★Also apparently they're archiving their stuff cuz they moved? So I'll update this with links calling myself out when available?
★Literally the only other ones I know of before that are like 3+ years old so I've no idea what they have in them besides a general 'oof Baas was kind of a raging cunt and had absolutely zero customer service as opposed to the usually good but sometimes crap cuz of memory issues kind now' incidents.
Like belive me, I'm gonna reread them when they're up and archived, but I'm positive theres some really egregious behavior from back then and if I could honestly track down and remember the passwords for ANY of those accounts, and track down one by one the people I fucked over or didn't end up refunding,
I would systematically do that and refund them to make it somewhat right.
★ALSO NOT A BEWARE, THIS IS A PERSONAL CALLOUT ON MYSELF FOR THE TIMEFRAME BETWEEN NOVEMBER AND FEBUARY OF 2018/2019, BUT I'VE BEEN SUPER BAD WITH MY DEPRESSION SPIRAL AND LET MYSELF GET INTENSELY DISORGANIZED, MISPLACED A BUNCHA FILES AND SHIT, WAS UNMOTIVATED
TO WORK ON ANYTHING FROM THAT TIME PERIOD BECAUSE OF THE ASSOCIATION AND HAVE ALREADY SENT OUT NOTES FOR REFUNDS TO RESOLVE THE ISSUES.
SO NOW THAT WE ARE OFFICIALLY NOT HIDING THAT EVEN THO I NEVER REALLY WAS IF ANYONE ASKED ME ABOUT IT WITH CONCERNS WHICH HAS HAPPENED BEFORE,
I most certainly dont expect to EVER have to have another conversation with my friends where one of them has gotten harassed or messaged with fucking callout shit
just so some angry twat on the internet with a vendetta can try and ruin my relationships with my friends by letting them know I am
A)not perfect and can in fact lose my temper even though normally I'm pretty nice
and B) was a legitimately awful human being 3/4 years back who had a lot of growing up and fucking personal growth to do.
But if ya'll REALLY wanna continue the callout culture and have the knockdown dragout fight ya'll seem to keep trying to instigate between me and my friends (like I said this isn't the first time this shit has happened)
then by all means I invite you to make an anon account here to note me, or note me an instant messenger service of which I WILL be screenshotting and posting the argument fuckin here because I have SEVERAL
nastygram things to say about who take their beef with me, legitimate or not, and try to ACTIVELY ruin my friendships and support system with others and slide into my friends DM's and Inboxes over shit like this.
Square Up, coward, because I'm personally accountable for all my mistakes, are you?
I honestly wish people realized others have the ability to change and grow, and occasionally a fuck up is gonna happen but like you're still a better person now?
Will I possibly lose some potential commissioners over AB? Maybe, but eh can't please everyone tbh and if that's how they can live their best life I'm all for it.
But I am DONE beating myself up every goddamn day over this shit, and carrying around boatloads of baggage as if I haven't improved as both a person and as a business.
Now I can still improve and figure out a damn organizational system cuz jesus christ my memory is so goddamn bad. But that's on the to do list to improve lol.
I still need to figure out an organizational system cuz unfortunately ADD isn’t cyclical lol. BUT other than that I’m doing much better if not just a little stressed out cuz I’m one of the main financial supports in my family unit and we care for 10 adults total lol.
But I loved working on your piece and your character and appreciate you trusting me despite the old bewares!
I'm actually really upset they're attacking your friends - but it's happened plenty before. I didn't even know there was a beware on you, but there was one on me from years ago. Like LONG time ago, it's a big part of an eye opener for me when I realized I didn't want to do commissions anymore. I'm not the right kind of mindset to deal with awful customers. The good ones were BLESSINGS, but the bad ones? They destroyed me, to the point I absolutely HATE art now and I can barely draw anything for myself. ;;
Good on you for seeing your own personal growth and calling out this crap - if they're actual profiles / people, I wanna know so I can go ahead and preemptively block and warn my friends about these people that are shit starters.
I mean seriously, this drama is from YEARS ago.
I hope moving forward that people will see this side of you, and not base you on past experiences. As someone also suffering from mental health, you have to work twice as hard to clear your name and prove you are able to do things.
Best of luck to you!!