this really punched me in the guts, ugh. i was bonding with cetas over having to go through all the same stuff as them, except they were a month or so ahead of me. and now they died, during the same procedure i'm going to go through in a month. i was really feeling better about going through this with them, and helping each other, and how we were gonna survive it together.

fuck. i wish i talked to them more.