Im done dealing with emotions, done with life, done with friends or those that I thought were friends. Im just done caring. I dont care about my self or others, I dont have any care to improve my situation, or care to seek help. All this life has shown me is that no matter how hard you try. You get fucked over in the end. So why bother to try? Iv been fucked over my entire life. Went through hell as a child. No one cared, parents split up, no one cared. Needed help finacially or to get somthing. Still no one cared.

Friends try to tell you that they care, but in reality, they really dont. Their world is only concernd about them, and those they like. If something is wrong with you, then you're a target. They make you feel worse everyday. To were the need to just end everything grows more and more. Or untill you reach the point where you just dont give a fuck.

Well thats where im at. I just simply dont care about anyone or anything. People want me to improve my self but I dont see a point, iv explained my reasons but they dont care, so why should I? They want me to get into better shape, but I have no want or drive to do so. They tell me to get a job. But I have no desire to do so. it will only end wih me being fired. or denied. Cant even get the medical help I need boh physically and mentally because others get priority or preferencial treatment. So again why try? why care?

I can't even play a game, or meet new people now with out pissing someone off. So I say fuckit. I dont care. Im going to do what I please and everyone else be damned. Maybe with time life will fianlly give me what I want and just straight up kill me. To much of a coward to do it myself.

People tell me iv changed, and there right, I have. I changed because all this world has aught me is that nothing matters, That those that need help will never get it and those that play the system get everything. 6 years ago i had the chance to pull the trigger, and attpemt to end everything. I was talked out of it. Now I know I should have gone through with it, Cause then people would have cared. Or at the very least given a fuck.

So all I have left to say is to just fuck off, leave me alone, I dont care one way or another. Life has no meaning, no hope, and no love. So why should I be any diffrent?