Man I'm jealous of people who can can openly express their sexuality. Its true I am. I consider myself to be gay, but I really feel like I can't express it anywhere except where I am anonymous. It is a choice honestly but it is a difficult choice. I choose not to express it because I believe that my friends and family will think about me differently, since that part of my identity will dominate their perception of me. I am also slightly worried that my parents will not let me live in their house anymore if they knew. I am especially concerned about my father since not too long ago he made comments to me about how he doesn't understand how my generation is so accepting of homosexuality and that he is glad that none of his children are. Specifically he talked about how there is something wrong with one of my uncles' genetics because two of his sons are gay. It really does worry me that someone will find out. So I usually dodge the question or say that I don't know when anyone asks me anything about my sexual orientation.
I want to start dating, but obviously I can't really do that without inevitably being asked questions about it. So I'm kinda stuck with being the guy who doesn't know what he's attracted to at 21. Which to be honest I really didn't until I was almost 19 because of how I repressed any feelings of attraction I had when I was in high school because of the culture of my high school and because I simply had to focus pretty hard on my classwork then. Man its gonna be hard to tell people when I finally do find a suitable partner and my parents are still around. But life is pretty much always about overcoming some kind of adversity and challenges so I will cross that bridge when I come to it so to speak. I really hope I'm wrong about how I think they will react.